Ellen and Portia's Garden of Eden

CURRENT OWNER: Ellen De Generes and Portia Di Rossi
LOCATION: Montecito, CA
PRICE: Listed at $16,900,000
Size: 4 bedrooms, 4 baths, 2 half baths, 4 acres

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Honeys, I finally found this place after hours of looking and looking. I knew this lady-couple had put up their Santa Ynez ranch for sale (price: $11,900,000) and had purchased a spectacular estate in the high-class Montecito for their weekend getaway. After much internet dead ends I hit pay dirt...the actual listing! And children, the listing agents put together an amazing marketing package for this property with pages of descriptions and flyers and brochures galore. So I'm going to have to condense for our little brains.

This property, located just north of Sycamore Canyon Road (I'll keep the street name and house number in my vault), sprawls over 4 acres and was built in 1926 by renowned Santa Barbara architect George Washington Smith for the Ogilvy family. The property includes a Spanish stlyle main house, guesthouse, studio, pool and pool pavilion, tennis court and a three car detached garage. Of course the property is walled and gated with heavily fortified security.

The grounds are fully landscaped with fountains, water features, cutting beds, fruit trees, secluded gardens and the like. A virtual garden of Eden for this Eve/Eve couple.

The house itself has all the accutrement necessary for a life of celebrity weekend leisure...massive wine cellar, media room, multiple fireplaces, office suite, and a 1,300 square foot master encompassing the entire second floor. And of course guesthouse(s) for visitors and assistants.

Ellen is well known for buying, and sometimes also renovating properties, and selling them on for a huge profit (see future postings for some of Ellen's Hollywood Hills homes). This lady has exquisite taste and style and is most certainly blessed with the real estate gene. But I wonder where Miss Portia is going to ride her horses now that the ranch is sold.

The $150,000,000 pile

CURRENT OWNER: Candy Spelling. Or maybe some Arab prince
LOCATION: Holmby Hills, Los Angeles
PRICE: asking $150,000,000 (?)
SIZE: simply huge. around 56,000 sq. ft.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Babies, I have tried to get you the low-down on this property. Was it for sale? Is it? Did it sell? But there are so many conflicting reports. Anyone on the inside know what truth I can tell the children?

See if you can follow. Not long after the senior Spelling passed, Candy darling gives the Westside Agency the "pocket listing" for her behemoth estate which the family called "the Manor." Asking price $150,000,000. Lickety split Candy's people call everyone and deny everything. The real estate people call the reports "erroneous."

Soon an unamed Arab prince shows up willing to cough up $130,000,000 (135 by some accounts) and the sale goes through. Again Candy's people call everyone denying everything emphatically saying the manse has not sold and is NOT for sale.

If you ask me, the house probably is for sale, or has actually sold as reported. But decency requires she wait a bit before jumping for joy at her good fortune and luck in quickly and quietly unloading her white elephant. Can you blame her for wanting to get rid of this pile? What newly single, filthy rich gal wants to maintain all that? Do you know how much effort it is to run an estate like this? So I don't begrudge her for selling on the family estate.

But...I do take issue with her acting greedy with all that dead man's money. Did you know, children, it is reported that preggers Tori and her man Dean are moving into a rental in Brentwood? A rental! Why do you think Miss Tori had that yard sale last week. Bitch needs some cash to pay for her apartment deposit because her mama is keeping the purse strings tightly tied. Well, that and free publicity for her new reality show, of course.

I digress. For sale or not, the house is really something. A tacky something, but something none the less. The largest private home in California is reported to have multiple kitchens, screening room, olympic sized pool (although the overhead photo makes it look a wee bit smaller really), an ice rink, bowling alley, a citrus orchard, a doll museum, 6,000 sq. ft. guest house, and those famous gift wrapping rooms. The LA Times reported there is also a "bonus level for closets between the second story and the attic." Can you imagine?

She's so skinny now

SELLER: Christina Ricci
PREVIOUS OWNER: Diane Keaton (who is responsible for the gorgeous renovation)
LOCATION: Los Feliz, (The Oaks neighborhood), Los Angeles
PRICE: $3,100,000 (this property has been sold at an undisclosed price)
SIZE: 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms
SOURCE: LA Times Hot Property
DESCRIPTION: Celebrity owned LLoyd Wright architectural. Located in exclusive Oaks neighborhood. The completely open & private 3 story homes features dramatic windows and doors, private master suite complete with large deck, huge yard...formal dining room, fireplace, amazing concrete floors and views..the home is beautifully preserved and has graced the covers of several books and magazines. A rare opportunity to own a piece of history

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Several rich and famous have occupied this property so it's ped-i-greed. Ms. Keaton did an amazing job and the property is just spectacular. I have the address for this property too children, but I'm keeping this one to myself. Suffice to say there's a Green Oak tree involved in the location.

EXTRA NOTE FROM YOUR MAMA: Okay babies, I have a special affinity for this house because I currently live in an NYC apartment once inhabited by Ms. Ricci. Technically this apartment belonged to her mother and it's unclear whether she actually lived here, BUT we still get invitations to fancy parties in her name shoved in amongst our more mundane mail. She's not the only celeb. to live in this apartment either...after the Ricci's it was a very prominent magazine editor who trades in what I like to call bathroom reading for the somewhat sophisticated.

But the previous tenants are not so surprising considering this building is quite simply crawling with entertainment, fashion and art people. Any guesses as to where I live?