Larry Ellison's Japanese Freak Out

SELLER: Larry Ellison
LOCATION: 96 Isabella Avenue, Atherton, CA
PRICE: $16,000,000
SIZE: approx. 1.75 acres, 8,000 square feet, 7 bedrooms, 7.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: (shortened from listing agent's website) An exquisite expression of the guiding principle of Japanese aesthetics...Abundant windows and sliding glass doors with pocket shoji screens open to the exquisitely landscaped grounds...The elegant and flowing floor plan...is arranged over two levels, highlighted by a sumptuous master suite with a fireplace and two full bathrooms. The outstanding grounds include an authentic Japanese tea house, exquisite Japanese strolling gardens with decks, ponds, waterfalls, koi pond, an in-ground spa and a dark-bottom swimming pool rimmed with boulders that melds into the landscape.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Lahwd children, Your Mama's mind is boggled and bewildered at the amount of swanky real estate this man has acquired, improved and renovated all over the state of California in the last few years. Of course, when you are number four on the Forbes 400 with a net worth in excess of 19 billion dollars, you have a little money to toss around on the real estate.

This property, sitting smack in middle of one of the most expensive zip codes in all of the U-nited States, was first put up for sale in March 0f 2005 for a jaw dropping $25,000,000. In a 2005 article on cnn.com, the listing agent, a Ms. Mary Gullixson of Alain Pinel Realty, claims there was a flurry of interested and "very, very well-qualified" buyers who came a-running to see the place right away. But children, we all know how buyers can be. As qualified as they may have been, they were also fickle and probably just plain nosy. So without a buyer, the price has been lowered to a more reasonable $16,000,000 over the last 18 months.

The house, originally built in the 1960s, was purchased by the flamboyant CEO in 1987 for around $6,000,000. And as you can see babies, he proceeded to turn what was once a somewhat modest ranch home into a full-on Japanese freak out, dumping a truckload of money in the process.

In addition to twisting the house up into a serene and contemporary version of a traditional Japanese dwelling, Ellison had the gardens ripped out and replaced with oodles of Japanese specimen trees and foliage. By all accounts and photos, the gardens are beyond compare. Your Mama does not even want to think about the grounds keeping bill. Just about every room has views of or opens to the mammoth koi pond. The property is gated, of course, and the house includes an attached 2-car garage, music room, office, and two traditional tatami rooms. There is the requisite heated pool and a clay tennis court to complete the property.

Now babies, we don't want to appear to be a hater or a bitter-betty because we don't have a Japanese tea house of our own, but Your Mama is not sure we approve of the furniture choices Mr. Ellison's decorator has made here. Those high-backed dining room chairs make our backs ache just to look at them, and those couches, while comfortable looking, are just so beige. We can only hope they're covered in some sweet and soft velvet to make up for their aggressive ordinariness.

Now kids, this software magnate, co-founder and top man at Oracle, does not live in this house anymore, so there is no need to be driving up and down the streets of Atherton hoping to catch a glimpse of the bearded billionaire. See, not only did he Japanify this property, he has spent the last six or seven years building an even more lavish Japanese-style spread up the road in Woodside. These new digs, his current home, spread over 23 meticulously and obsessively landscaped acres. It is said to be one of the most expensive (and valuable) private residences in the country. Your Mama will continue to spread the common rumor this billionaire has spent close to $200,000,000 building and landscaping the property. But that sounds like a crazy number to us and we imagine is just has to be closer to $100,000,000.

Mr. Ellison has not limited his real estate rampage in the Bay Area. Oh no. He has been snapping up properties left and right in Malibu, California. Children, hold on to your wigs now, because Your Mama is about to blow your minds. It is reported this man has purchased at least 12 properties in Malibu worth more than $180,000,000. This includes a staggering $65,000,000 he spent in one fell swoop on five contiguous ocean front properties on Carbon Beach...the most expensive and exclusive section of ocean frontage in Malibu.

And if all that was not enough extravagance to make your head spin right off your body, Mr. Ellison currently owns the longest privately owned boat in the world. At 454 feet long, and christened the Rising Sun, building this boat cost Mr. Ellison more than the Gross National Product of many-a small countries: a shocking $194,000,000 according to leaked papers from his accountant. People, this boat is significantly longer than a football field, looks more like a Carnival Cruises ship than a private boat and likely costs upwards of $20,000,000 per year to maintain. There are heaps of credible reports that Mr. Ellison is selling or has already sold this boat for an astounding $200,000,000, which of course would just barely cover his construction costs. Your Mama can only point to children towards speculation as to why someone would go through the trouble and expense to build a monster boat like this only to sell it on just one year later.

Boat or no boat, Mr. Ellison has some serious money for all you children to ponder and work to get your minds around as you hop into your hoopty vehicles and head on down to the Wal-Mart.

Sharon and Phil's Former Love Nest

SELLER: Sharon Stone / Phil Bronstein
LOCATION: 25 Avenue North, San Francisco
PRICE: sale price, close to $15,000,000
SIZE: approx. 10,000 square feet, 5+ bedrooms, 8 full, 2 half bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Settle down children. We know all you real estate junkies out there already know this property sold a looong time ago. But babies, not everyone in the world has seen photos of the house OR the actual floor plans. So just relax. The listing agent for this property provided such an extensive description of the house and property, there is just no way we can include it entirely, so we're just gonna hit some of the highlights.

The house, built in 1908, was one of the first properties to be developed in the hyper-expensive Seacliff area of San Francisco. Seacliff boasts some of San Francisco's most dramatic and expansive views of the Golden Gate Bridge, the Marin Headlands and a long stretch of rugged shoreline. Like so many of the homes of rich and famous, this house was once inhabited by another rich and famous person. In this case, Mrs. Phoebe Hearst, mother of publishing tycoon William Randolph Hearst.

Ms. Stone purchased this oceanfront property in 1998 for about $6,000,000 and moved her loony and glamorous ass in with that hunky, facially-haired husband of hers, newspaperman Phil Bronstein. Of course, they're famously dee-vorced now, but at one time, this house was where they let their love flow.

To be honest, Your Mama is often less than impressed with the homes of rich people--so much money, and too often, so little taste. But not with this house. Your Mama says the house is gor-gee-us from basement to rafters. Ms. Stone clearly made an excellent choice when she hired her gay decorator. Okay well, we don't really know if the decorator is a homosexual, but we are talking about San Francisco, right?

Anyhoo, we would like to direct all the children to the second floor to have a look-see at the master suite. Now, this is the way to live, right babies? Notice the fireplace in the bedroom area, the TWO deluxe dressing rooms with ocean views, and of course, TWO bathrooms. Please also take note there are no shared walls with any of the other bedrooms, so we're talking absolute privacy here.

Please also note the number of toilets in the house. You can not walk 10 feet or turn a corner in this house without running into another bathroom. If you live here, you need a girl whose only responsibility is to scrub down all those toilets. Not only do each of the bedrooms have their own private pooper, there are several additional, discreetly located powder rooms for those folks not lucky enough to have been invited to spend the night.

People can say what they want about Sharon Stone and her wacky ways. And they do. However, Your Mama would like all the children to note how casual, comfortable, and inviting this house looks. All those delicious, velvet covered down sofas and the big, cozy kitchen just make Your Mama soft in the head and weak in the knees. You know a house outfitted like this can not belong to some uptight bee-hatcha. No. Under all that lacquered Hollywood exterior of Ms. Stone, clearly beats the heart of a warm and fuzzy woman.

Also of note with this property is the die-rect access to Baker Beach, one of San Francisco's largest, sunniest, and busiest beaches. Most people think of San Francisco as being cold, damp and foggy. And it certainly can be. But, when the sun comes out, all the clothes come off here at Baker Beach. Yes hunnies, this beach has a large nudie area on the north end. A little advice for the nekkidly inclined male visitor to Baker Beach...the water is icy cold, so best to consider the shrinkage factor before dipping your toes.

Of course, Ms. Stone has long ago moved on and moved back to Beverly Hills where, apparently, she's not sure quite where she'd like to settle. She's purchased a spectacular home up in the hills, but for one reason or another has decided not to move in and has put it back on the market (see post titled "Sharon Stone Flips Out"). Wherever she finally lands, Your Mama has no doubt it will be a home of exquisite taste, style, and comfort.

Your Mama Does San Francisco

Happy New Year to all the children out there!

This week we're going to be looking at and discussing homes of the rich and famous in lovely San Francicso. We got us some Sharon Stone, some Gavin Newsom, some Andre Agassi and more.

So stay tuned and check back soon because we'll start posting on Jan. 2.

Anyhoo, Your Mama is headed out now to start the New Year right by selling a cute little farmhouse to a couple of nice, young architects. We hope your year starts off as well babies.