Ring Around Parker Posey's Place

SELLER: Parker Posey
LOCATION: East 10th Street, New York, NY
PRICE: $1,175,000 / maintenance $1,344 per month
SIZE: 3.0 room, 1 bedroom, 1 bathroom
DESCRIPTION: Quiet and serene, this loft-like home occupies the entire top floor of a Greek Revival / Italianate landmark townhouse built in 1845...soaring ceilings, wide plank floors, exposed brick, a 15' skylight, a 6' high wall of multi-paned artist studio windows, a new kitchen and bath (with a claw foot tub), excellent closet and storage space and a washer/dryer. There is also a working, carved marble fireplace and the exclusive use of the roof. Pets welcome.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Ever since Mister Max Abelson, boy wonder of the New York celebrity real estate gossips over at the NY Observer, wrote about indie film goddess Parker Posey selling off her long time East Village apartment, Your Mama has been inundated with emails and phone calls asking us for more information.

Well, we could hardly provide more information about Miz Posey or her very chic and arty little East Village flat that wasn't already covered by Mister Abelson, so we'll simply add our own little bit of nothing to the conversation about the actresses' top floor artist's aerie.

Located in a pretty row of Victorian townhouses, the nicely maintained but fairly non-descript celebrity friendly building sits East 10th Street at the western edge of the East Village. For those who don't know the East Village, the location is particularly prime as it's very close to the subway and the East Village dining institution Veselka is a two minute walk away. The excellent independent book store St. Mark's Bookshop is just around the corner and the impossibly cool St. Marks Church in-the-Bowery is just down the block where one can watch out of this world and non-mainstream poetry and dance, if you like that sort of thing.

Miz Posey's floor through 1 bedroom rides atop the same building that houses a couple other famous folks with downtown street credibility. Big Love second wife and East Village high priestess Chloë Sevigny owns the garden apartment, and former Smashing Pumpkins' James Iha owns one of the other coops in the small townhouse building that dates back to 1845 and does not include any luxury amenities such as a doorman or concierge service. The lack of dee-luxe services makes Your Mama wonder why the monthly maintenance, a somewhat steep $1344 per month, is so damn high. Given the modest size and modest neck of the woods, we would have expected monthly building costs to be under $1,000/month.

Your Mama is very pleased and impressed with Miz Posey's funky downtown decor. It looks like a pleasant and well curated mish-mash of items from the Avenue A flea, Las Venus (the old and wacky Las Venus on Ludlow Street and not the mid-century modern outpost), and any number of assorted thrift shops located in church basements around lower Manhattan. I don't care what anyone says, that gnarled wood coffee table is flawless, even if it is murder on the chins after a few drinky-poos at Parker's place.

The well-resolved floor plan works well for a single gal about the East Village or possibly a painfully hip couple who walk their dog to the filthy Thompkins Square dog run and spend weekends at their slightly disheveled and in need of repair farm in upstate New York, where incidentally, Miz Posey recently purchased a house from Tatum O'Neil.

Apparently there was a line a mile long to purchase Miz Posey's petite penthouse, because even before old-school East Villagers could stomach the loss of one of their most cherished residents, the itty bitty apartment, listed at $1,175,000, went to contract. No word on whether Miz Posey and her cute litte dog are leaving the East Village altogether or if the actress is simply trading up to larger digs in the 'hood. We hope the later, because once the old guard East Village artists start leaving the once boho neighborhood, it means that days of buying dime bags of weed on St. Marks and going on the nod in Thompkins Square Park are truly numbered.

P.S. Parker doll, if you're getting rid of the fabulous orange swivel chair, please let Your Mama know, because we are in love with that particular piece of second-hand pricelessness.

Mike and Irena Medavoy's Beverly Park Mini-Mega-Mansion

SELLERS: Mike and Irena Medavoy
LOCATION: Beverly Park, Beverly Hills, CA
PRICE: $21,500,000 (reduced from $23,500,000)
SIZE: 10,769 square feet, 5 bedrooms 9 bathrooms (as per listing)
DESCRIPTION: Exceptional Hampton-Style Beverly Park Estate. Beautifully set on nearly 2 acres of rolling lawns. The best value in the area. Beautifully decorated & designed. Extraordinary 2-story entry. Fabulous living rm/projection rm. Study, double powder rms, sensational kitchen/family rm, & wonderful loggia out to the lush gardens, swimmer's pool, & guesthse. Amazing master suite w/beautiful dual baths. 3 add'l spacious family bdrms & maids. Excellent privacy in the most sought after gated community.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: The children just looove to hear about the residents and humongous houses of Beverly Park and when we can, Your Mama likes to feed the children just what they're asking for. So today we bring y'all some Beverly Park goodness to chaw on.

Only in uber posh and guard gated Beverly Park, where 20,000+ square foot steroidal houses are the rule rather than the exception, is a nearly 11,000 square foot house considered a cozy mini-mansion. But that's what Your Mama would have to say about big time film producer Mike Medavoy's modest by comparison mansion that Your Mama hears from our Fairy Godmother in Beverly Hills will soon be hitting the market with an ear piercing asking price of $23,500,000.

There's no question a man like Medavoy can afford to own and maintain a house in hyper manicured Beverly Park, where the lawns are always meticulously mowed, the hedges impeccably clipped and the swimming pools glisten like sunlight itself. After all, he's responsible for bringing any number of block buster films to the screen such as One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Rocky, The Terminator, The People vs. Larry Flynt, The Thin Red Line and many, many more.

So the man prolly deserves his vast riches that in the year 2000 allowed him to build his dream house in one of the most exclusive and expensive developments anywhere in the world. The white clapboard and black shuttered East Coast traditional style with 10,769 square feet, sprawls across it's 1.8 acre lot that includes a double gated driveway, large parking court, and swimming pool and guest house complex, and an expanse of perfectly green grass. There is not, however, a tennis court, which for $23,000,000 would be a deal breaker for Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter who like to swing a racket now and again.

No official or new listing exists for the house that we've been able to locate, but thanks to our Fairy Godmother in Beverly Hills we managed to get a hold of a few photos and information from when the house was on the market a few years ago for $14,500,000 (reduced from $15,750,000). The pretty center hall quasi-Colonial 5 bedroom house includes 8 bathrooms (or nine according to old listing information), 6 fireplaces, a living room that converts into "one of the best screening rooms," and "one of the loveliest master suites" (again according to an older listing).

Your Mama is quite impressed with the bold color that the Medavoy's nice gay decorator used in the dining room. Never before have we seen or heard of a hot pink formal dining room, and honestly, we'd never have imagined we would have anything positive to say about a dining room with screaming pink walls. But we do. Maybe it's because we're having an off day or maybe it's because Your Mama has an unhealthy attraction to bright colors. We are not in love with the execution of this room, but children, try to imagine the space pushed beyond traditional towards something kooky and contemporary. Keep the ka-razy chandelier and the side table with the too cute topiary and the wacky sea sponge looking thing underneath. Whatever that thing is, we're coveting it. We don't understand the abstract artwork hanging on the wall, but it too can stay unless you can afford a subtle Rothko or glorious Gary Hume painting to replace it. Lose the carpet, paint the moldings and doors the glossiest white paint you can find, replace the very expensive but ordinary table with a big tacky Lucite thing and cover all those faux-Louis chairs in an even tackier shiny white patent leather. Now that would be a fucked up hot pink dining room even Your Mama could love.

We don't feel as forgiving of the study/library. Somehow the room appears remarkably bright for a room with coal black walls and Your Mama is quite certain every single object in this room cost at least $2,000, but it's a strange hodge-podge that isn't quite working for us. Could be the grainy photo or it could be that upsetting scroll/map thing on the wall? Your Mama is well aware that art is subjective, but we can only hope that particular piece was done by one of the Medavoy's grandchildren (if they have any). Please don't someone tell Your Mama that chicken scratch depiction of the earth is worth more than a Mercedes.

Your Mama doesn't have a clue why the Medavoy's would chose to leave the private and secure environs of Beverly Park. Maybe they're downsizing to a house in the flats? Maybe they're up sizing to something larger? Maybe they're tired of looking at the sculpture next door. Whatever the care, it'll be inneresting to see what rich and/or famous person steps up to buy this house.

Now, let's move on to some other Beverly Park bizness. There has been some discussion in the comments section of this blog about a Beverly Park house owned by Jeanette and Robert Bisno, who among other alleged infractions, famously ired their ridiculously rich neighbors with statuary that some Bev Park residents felt was suggestive, possibly vulgar, and simply did not conform to the 70-page homeowners covenants to which all Beverly Park properties must adhere. Well, wouldn't you know, the Bisnos' happen to live right next door to the Medavoys in their own 11,894 square foot mansion. Oh children, the rich people up in Bev Park were all up in arms over the Bisno's gates, garbage cans and motor court statuary. Just imagine the shock and nasty stares as resident slowly rolled by in their shiny Bentleys, the shunning and whispered mortifications. The whole uproar ended up in a convoluted lawsuit that involved such allegations by the Bisnos that the ruling judge was mentally incompetent and as such unable to decide the case effectively. Wow. These Bisno people must really have wanted that damn statue. We're not sure what the outcome of the statue wars was, but it does appear that the very expensive piece of outdoor art is still in place in the Bisno motor court. Which means it's probably still tied up in courts. What a stellar use of our over-burdened judicial system.

An excellent article from the New York Times reports that during the bickering the Bisnos were in the process of getting a dee-vorce. But the article also reports that the couple bought another vacant lot a few doors up from their current residence where they intended to build another dream mansion and take their naughty statue with them. We don't find any evidence of them buying a second lot up there, but then again, the real estate dealings of the super rich are often obscured and difficult to track, so our lack of evidence really means nothing.

One of Your Mama's readers has also suggested in the comments section that the Bisno house is in foreclosure. Your Mama can't find any evidence of that in our rather lax research, so we can't confirm or deny that bit of unpleasantness. It does appear that the house is heavily mortgaged, but honestly puppies, that does not mean a thing. Many, many vastly wealthy people borrow enormous amounts of money against their lavish homes for any number of reasons. We can't comment on the state of Mister Bisno's finances, because we simply don't know anything about them. What we do know is Mister Bisno is and has been a controversial figure anywhere you turn.

Moving on from the Bisno bizness...Of course by now, all the children know that Beverly Park is filled to the gills with the rich and famous including Eddie Murphy, Denzel Washington, Jami Gertz, Reba McEntire, Sylvester Stallone, Paul Reiser, Faith Hill and Tim McGraw, Avi Arad, Eric Schmidt, Martin Lawrence, Sumner Redstone, Barry Bonds, Michael Eisner, Samuel Jackson, Rod Stewart, porn king Norman Zada, Haim and Cheryl Saban, a couple of Saudi royals, Steve Udvar-Hazy, and of course, young Mister Russ Weiner, the Rockstar Energy Drink founder who is one of Bev Park's newest residents.

Mister and Missus Medavoy's little slice of residential heaven for the filthy rich is far from the only Beverly Park behemoth on the market. According to property records, mobile home maven Lee Kort is trying to get rid of a 3.35 acre lot for a shocking $49,000,000 (plans and permits for a 25,000 square foot house also available). Beer baron Adolf Coors owns a 9 bedroom and 9 bathroom monster mansion, dubbed "The Great 78," which backs up to the Medavoy mansion and is currently available for $34,000,000. George Santopietro, Vanna White's ex-huzband and current Bev Park resident, recently plunked a mammoth newly built spec-house on the market for a spine tingling $50,000,000. And the Moeljadi family have long been trying to unload their 20,612 square foot pile for $29,000,000. And these are just the houses Your Mama knows are on the market. You can bet that are at least 2 or 3 others that are quietly for sale for the right price.
YOUR MAMAS UPDATE: We take it back...after viewing more recent photos of the Medavoy mansion (above), we are not so keen on the dining room. It is not, after all, the modern and nutty color scheme we originally thought. The walls are not covered in unexpected hot pink paint, but rather with a light red damask wallpaper. Ugh. Dreadful. And in the study/library, we thought the walls had been painted a very progressive, if not particularly likable black. In actuality, they are green damask. DAMASK! On the walls! Yikes. We know damask wallpaper is not uncommon in a house with an old-guard sort of decor, but with all due respect and apologies to the Medavoys, damask wallpaper always reminds Your Mama of the "better" whorehouses in rural Nevada.

We realize many of the children relish in and prefer this traditional and safe form of interior decor, but Your Mama does not. Yes, it looks cozy and comfortable, which are indeed nice qualities in a house, but Your Mama gravitates to a more modern and eclectic sort of interior where one finds unexpected and quirky bits and pieces of person's life. But alas. That said, Your Mama will say, that to the Medavoy's credit, the mansion looks welcoming and not at all lavish and lurid in the way that many people, including Your Mama, imagine the homes in Beverly Park to be decorated. Remember Rod Stewart's obscenely over stuffed mess?

Jane Pratt Sells Townhouse

SELLER: Jane Pratt
LOCATION: 58 Downing Street, New York, NY
PRICE: $3,800,000 (sale)
SIZE: 2,560 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 3.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: 58 Downing Street is an extremely rare, single family private home to come to the marketplace. Decorated by one of the world's top designers, lose yourself in informal, sophisticated luxury. 58 Downing provides the once-in-a-lifetime fantasy to own your own home in the village; resplendent with original stoop, wood-burning fireplaces, turn-of-the-century woodwork and details, and a sun-filled garden.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Children, Your Mama has been stricken with a flu which is why we did not feed the children any good real estate porn yesterday. And as usual, the children just about killed each other in our absence. Honestly babies can't Your Mama leave you alone for even one day without you turning on each other like a couple of tranny crack hos fighting over the last married man trawling Hollywood Boulevard?

We're still feeling pukey and under the weather, but in the interest of keeping the children from verbally slaughtering each other, Your Mama is going to pop up a little something about a lady named Jane Pratt. Some of you may recognize Miz Pratt's name because of her loose lips which revealed that she had a lesbian fling with Drew Barrymore back in the mid 1990s. Bet Drew was THRILLED to have that bit of news flashed about the radio.

Others of you might recognize Miz Pratt's name because for many years she sat at the top of the heap of the magazine publishing world. Back in the early 1990s, 24 year old Miz Pratt, an upper class hipster with a blue blood education, tapped into the zeitgeist of the burgeoning pre-teen gurl publishing marketplace when she created Sassy, one of the first and arguably best of the pre-teen gurl glossies which aimed at teaching young gurls just getting their mosquito bite boobies how to dress, what music to listen to, and how to innocently flirt with pimply-faced boys.

When that went belly-up, she teamed up with the Condé Nast, the Cadillac of magazine publishers. Her eponymous Jane Magazine, aimed at stylish and hip young women never quite achieved the cult following or street-cred success of Sassy, but the job paid her enough money to buy a downtown townhouse in 2001 for around $2,200,000.

Time rolls on and Jane Magazine is now defunct and Miz Pratt has a Sirius Satellite radio program. The mother of one with a longtime male companion recently sold her Manhattan townhouse for $3,800,000. Lest anyone be under the impression that the mortgage crisis is having much effect on the current Manhattan real estate market, you should know that the the not very well located four floor house was purchased for $150,000 MORE than it's asking price. Lucky Jane.

Listing information for the house says it was decorated by one of the world's top designers. And perhaps it was. We're certainly feeling okay about the parlor floor living room space, but the family room on the fourth floor is making us queasy. Let's hope the pinky/fleshy color is the result of a bad camera because Your Mama could not stomach living up in a room the color of tongue.

Although Your Mama finds the less than desirable Downing Street location is only good for its proximity to the Film Forum theater and the 1/9 subway, we happen to like the layout of the petite house. The English basement includes a large eat in kitchen with a street entrance which is perfect for getting the food deliveries from Fresh Direct right into the kitchen without having to schlep them through the house. The Parlor floor, while narrow is nicely laid our for entertaining. The lack of a terlit on this floor is a minor inconvenience unless you're a mobility impaired dinner guess, then it's a tremendous inconvenience to have to climb a flight of stairs just to relieve oneself.

The third floor, devoted entirely to the master suite is nicely laid out except for that bathtub in the dressing room. Honestly, that's just silly. Who needs to bathe while looking at the Jimmy Choos and Prada suits? We'd rip that water barrel out right away and replace it with more custom fitted closets.

The two bedrooms on the third floor are rather small, but how much room do children really need? None the less, if this house were to belong to Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter we'd combine those two bedrooms into one nicely sized suite for guests...well at least guests that have the lung power and leg strength to get up and down all the stairs to the kitchen.

According to records on file with the city, the skinny 16 ft wide 3 bedroom and 3.5 bathroom house was purchased by political risk management guru Ian Bremmer, a youngish intellectual and brilliant political scientist who heads up the Eurasia Group. We imagine these rooms will soon be filled with all sorts of chatter about global finance, proliferation treaties and the potential positive and negative implications of a senator's pork barrel requests.

According to Media Bistro (via Curbed), Miz Pratt is rumored to be starting a magazine with Gwen Stefani. So does this mean that the Pratt clan is headed to the west coast?