Britney Gurl, You Oughtta Just Sit Tight

Lately there has been some stirring and disturbing tidbits about perpetually problematic pop star Britney Spears looking for a new damn house. In Manhattan Beach. Manhattan Beach!

Gurl, Your Mama does not know why you've got ants in your pants about where you want to be bunking down at night, but we do know your indecisive nature is a problem when it comes to those kids of yours. Between your Bev Hills house, your expensive lease job in Malee-boo and all the various and many hotels you book and don't sleep in, Your Mama thinks you would be all happily housed up. But alas...

Word of caution hunny gurl, you might want to consider looking elsewhere because from the sound of things those Manhattan Beach folks are not going to be rolling out the welcome wagon for you, your suspicious sounding entourage, or your fleet of Mercedes Benz's with all those paparazzi photogs attached to the bumper.

Seriously gurl, if you won't listen to your mama, than maybe you should listen to Your Mama and pick a damn house and stay there for a bit of time. You might find it does you some good to have an actual home rather than just a multi-million dollar crash pad. Think about it.

Tony Danza's Golden Extravaganza

SELLER: Tony Danza
LOCATION: Longridge Avenue, Sherman Oaks, CA
PRICE: $6,150,000
SIZE: 6,778 square feet, 5 bedrooms, 5.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Truly the Crown Jewel of Sherman Oaks! Stately Cape Cod traditional perched on a knoll & sited on 2.3 acres in sought after Longridge Estates. Completely rebuilt from the ground up in1997. Impeccable attention to detail, far too many amenities to list here. Very private, gated property includes guest house, pool/spa, pool house gym. Tennis court & batting cage. Perfect for the most discriminating of buyers seeking privacy.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Recently we received word from Scuttlebutt Sam, a San Fernando Valley denizen who pointed Your Mama at a Sherman Oaks listing the belongs to Mister Tony Danza. Remember him kids?

Just because we don't care for his right leaning politics, does not mean we would wish lunky and hunky Republican actor Tony Danza's house be knocked over in an earthquake. Which is exactly what happened in 1994 during the devastating Northridge Earthquake. Well, Your Mama doesn't know if the place actually fell over, but multiple sources report that the Sherman Oaks house he bought from actor Robert Urich in September 1986 for $1,556,180 was indeed destroyed. What a damn drag that must have been.

According to listing information, the house was rebuilt from the ground up in 1997, which we imagine was necessitated by the severe earthquake damage. An article from the late 1990s reported that he claims to have rebuilt the house to ve virtually earthquake proof and he was quoted saying, "In an earthquake, I shouldn't run out of the house–I should run into it." Your Mama does not know where Mister Danza and his family lived from 1994 to 1997, but perhaps it was up with gun toting Republican Charleton Heston in his colossal contemporary crib off of Mulholland Drive. Now babies, we don't have any proof of that Mister Danza and scary Mister Heston know each other at all, so don't go spouting any of that shit off to yer friends.

Mister Tony Danza, who became famous, and probably rich, playing a series of dumb guys named Tony in the 1970s and 80s (Taxi, Who's The Boss?), has recently become a thespian with his recent run on Broadway as Max Bialystock in The Producers. A wee bit of research on the internets tells us that he's continuing that role at Paris Las Vegas, which Your Mama presumes is one of those disturbing and flashy fantasyland casino hotels in Las Vegas where thousands upon millions of numb skulls smile and laugh and open their wallets and bank accounts for all the fat-cat casino owners to reach in and steal their hard earned middle class income that would be better off spent taking their children to museums. But that's a gripe for another day and another blog.

Anyhoo, Mister Danza has recently put his big and rebuilt Sherman Oaks estate on the market for a surprisingly high $6,150,000. According to listing information and property records, the 6,778 square foot "Cape Cod" style residence sits on a private 2.3 acre parcel in desirable Longridge Estates. Your Mama does not care how desirable Longridge Estates is, $6,150,000 for a house in Sherman Oaks seems ludicrous. All you San Fernando Valleyites simmer down. Your Mama is not knocking Sherman Oaks. We know that the quintessential suburban city is full of famous and well to do people living in lovely and expensive homes. But it ain't no Beverly Hills. Food for thought, the next most expensive Sherman Oaks house listed on the MLS is just four doors down from the Danza extravaganza, and it's priced at $3,750,000.

Listing information shows the family friendly property includes a gym in the pool house (the better to help middle aged Mister Danza keep his chest bulging and young looking), a guest house (always a nice feature for stashing the inlaws), swimming pool and spa (note the old school slide and diving board which must have survived the quake), tennis court, and a batting cage. Batting cage? How macho.

Inside the "Cape Cod" style house, which looks suspiciously un-Cape Cod like to Your Mama, we find a house bathed in gold fabric. We see gold sofas in the formal living room, a whole army of gold chairs standing around the dining room table, beige-y/gold colored furniture in the family room for watching Taxi reruns, honey gold colored butcher block counter tops in the kitchen. Gold, gold, gold! We did not manage to locate any photos of the master bedroom, but Your Mama would bet one of our long bodied bitches Linda or Beverly that there's a gold sateen duvet on the bed and dee-luxe gold terry cloth towels in the bathroom.

Despite the overdone gold color scheme, the 5 bedroom and 5.5 bathroom mansion still manages to look like a cozy family style home...like a place where people actually live. Not a place Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter would want to live, but a place that real people actually live. So while the sad little wet bar in the family room makes Your Mama depressed and we have an unpleasant and inexplicable desire to know what that gold fabric on the dining room chairs feels like on our nekkid and prodigious booty, we give the Danza clan props for living in a house that does not look like an obscene decorator show house or a completely generic hotel room at a second tier Four Seasons Hotel.

However, one note about the backyard fencing, railing and chain link. All those ticky tacky barriers gives the place a white collar jail vibe, which isn't so good for getting well over 5,000,000 clams out of a super rich Sherman Oaks buyer. Surely a well paid landscape designer could come up with a better solution.

Your Mama wishes the Danza clan all the luck in the world unloading their rebuilt Sherman Oaks dream house. We think you're going to need it at it current asking price.

UPDATE: Well, it does appear that the Danza's have split. While we can find no indication that the soon to be ex-Mrs. Danza bought a house in Fryman Estates as was noted in the comments section, that does not mean she didn't, just that we cain't find it with our weary eyes and tarhd mind. However, property records do reveal that the erstwhile couple do own a 1,349 square foot 2 bedroom and 2 bathroom ocean front house on Malibu Road in, well, in Malee-boo of course.

Au revoir Blanc d'Ivoire

Almost like a death in the family, I am faced with the loss of my favorite vendor: Blanc d'Ivoire. Recently this French furniture company decided to close their NY office, thus making it nearly impossible for small independents like myself to order their merchandise. They now require you to buy a container and that's unrealistic for a designer with my sized business. So, I am now forced to buy their product wherever I can find it and just hope that I can find it. I know Indulge in Houston recently bought a container full so I'm anxious to see what pieces they ordered. But still, this is a loss that I am taking hard! My favorite client and I perused their web site so much we only referred to it as BDI in email exchanges. Their merchandise is everything I love: white, crusty and grey patinas, french and Swedish inspired designs, and cheap. Did I say cheap? OMG, you can't imagine! It kills me to think I'll be paying retail for it now, but even at retail prices, it's still a bargain. And so, here is my final ode to Blanc d'ivoire - thanks! It was a blast while it lasted.

Not only do they sell furniture, there are wonderful plates and vases all in the creamy and white tones BDI is famous for.

They also make wonderful French quilts and bedding.

I love their mirrors and light fixtures, along with wonderful consoles and buffets.

This is a dining table from their new line of furniture.

This traditional headboard comes in different fabrics and colors. They also have a large range of lamps and chandeliers.


I might have ordered this bench from BDI more than any other independent designer in the U.S. A meal for two at a restaurant probably costs more.


No, wait - maybe this lamp is my most oft purchased item from BDI.
This chair is so wonderful (and cheap) that I ordered almost the entire inventory left in NYC, "just in case."

So, now I'm thinking, with the demise of my almost free ride with Blanc d'Ivoire, what will take its place? What do I buy from other companies that are great bargains? What other good deals are out there for cheap? What catalogues do I go to time and time again to "fill in" when the big boys fall short?

Global Views: A wonderful to-the-trade catalogue. Mostly I buy tables from them. They are inexpensive in price but don't look it. This table has a black marble top and brushed brass legs. It's stunning in person, especially for the price.

This is another wonderful table from Global Views. It's perfect for drinks next to a club chair. Their tables come with antiqued mirror tops, glass tops, and white and black marble tops. They also come in silver or brass. There are square tables, round ones, and oval ones. I spot Global Views tables in all the shelter magazines, in surprisingly pricey homes. I noticed that Ivanka Trump has some in her stunning apartment. I never fail to smile when I spot one in a million dollar home.

Here on the cover of Elle Decor is one of my favorite Global Views tables.

I love these wooden pagoda shelves from Global Views. Their array of products is immense. Most stores that sell accessories will invariably stock some items from this powerhouse company.

Another favorite catalogue is Wisteria. Started by the young daughter of famed Houston interior designer Jane Moore along with her husband, this catalogue has taken the design world by a storm. In the beginning, it was stocked with an array of goods gathered from around the world. Lately the catalogue seems to be going in a new direction. Painted reproduction furniture has taken over from the exotic. Apparently, it's been a very profitable move. Most, if not all of the painted furniture is backordered for months. Above, is one of their more popular pieces from their painted furniture line.

This garden seat from Wisteria is a personal favorite. I can't count the number of times I've ordered it. It's beautifiul with its slightly muted, antiqued tones. I own three of them myself.

Primarily know for their richly embroidered fabrics, Chelsea Editions has a line of furniture inspired mostly from Swedish antiques. This company will probalby be my replacement for Blanc d'Ivoire. Their furniture is actually of a much finer qualilty than BDI and the prices, though somewhat higher, are still very reasonable. This table above is a versatle piece, perfect as a nightstand, a small desk, or a tea table. Unfortunately, Chelsea Editions is a to-the-trade only company.

When I have a client who isn't interested in paying Conrad or Hunter Douglas prices, I send them to Target to buy these tortoise shell blinds. I've used these dirt cheap blinds in the most expensive of houses. Highly effective, Target blinds are one item you can substitute with for times when the budget gets tight.

west elm is Pottery Barn's contemporary answer for the hip, young, urban crowd. When designing for a teenager, I love to use their platform beds with their wooden headboards - which come in several different styles. Besides teenagers, west elm appeals to singles and the newly married. Very good quality for the money.

If west elm is too severe for your tastes, a new contender, Brocade Home may be the answer. Frilly, damasky, and ultra feminine, young women are going crazy over this new catalogue. My favorite pieces are their chairs: french inspired, with light painted finishes, these chairs could go from a vanity to the dining table for the right client.

Pottery Barn, the old standby, recently updated it's line. These pieces are a standout: the kilim covered bench is fabulous and would add texture and atmosphere to almost any family room or library. Great look, great price.

I love this new Pottery Barn console. I think it's great looking and I am planning to use it in a room I am currently working on.

This rush seat bench is from the same group as the console, above. Again, great price, great look for the money.

Online from Urban Outfitters: this is a quilt wiht a suzani pattern. It makes a great bedspread or a tablecloth for those who want a suzani but don't want to pay the high price for a "real" one. This is suprisingly good looking and effective in person.For young clients, I love this velvet bench from Urban Outfitters online. I've used it in a teen's bedroom. Target carries this same piece on their web site.

Ballard Designs has long been known for their trendy items, many of which have a french provenance. Before it was sold and was still ultra unique, practically everything in the catalogue came in chartreuse. Today, they have a much larger color range. The items I buy over and over from Ballard are these chairs. Fold ups, they make great extras for dinner parties, offices, breakfast tables, and even a dining table until "real" chairs are affordable.

Originally, they only came in tortoiseshell bamboo, now the chairs come in many different patterns and colors: here they are in white cane.
And again, with a great new cut-out design.

Zebra rugs and anything zebra striped is this years coral: Major Trend Alert. I found this company, Pacific Artifacts at Round Top. Call them to buy one of their great rugs. I did! And I'm sure I'll be buying many more in the future.

Restoration Hardware makes this clear baluster lamp. It's heavy, well made, beautiful and currently on sale. I use this lamp over and over again. It's my favorite right now and it goes well with almost every kind of decor.
Oly Studio is another favorite to-the-trade only online source. This bench is hot right now and has been featured in a lot of magazines. Oly makes furniture for hip people who like trendy things.

Here are my favorite accessories from Oly Studio: faux bois bird candlesticks. Did I say Oly specializes in Major Trend Alert products? Here we kill two trends at once: birds AND faux bois. I love when that happens.

The designer Tom Scheerer loves to use this Saarinen designed table. On his web site, almost every house in his portfolio has one of these tables somewhere. Here he uses it both for dining and as a coffee table. Ikea makes a great knockoff, pictured below. To me, this is the single best item available at Ikea:

Above is the Ikea knockoff. For under $200, you can get a great designer look. Megan of Beach Bungalow 8 has one herself in her breakfast room:

Another item at Ikea that I love is their line of slipcovered sofas. Pieces in the line include a sofa, sectional, chaise, ottoman, and chair. The slipcovers come in many different fabrics, but the white is my favorite, of course! It's very comfortable seating, especially for it's dirt cheap price. I've sat in sofas that cost 10 times more that weren't nearly as comfortable. Great for a beachhouse or a playroom.

Legend of Asia has tons of blue and white pottery and just about anything else you could want from, well, Asia I guess. They have garden seats in every color, porcelains, pottery, accessories, and furniture that's new and antique (supposedly). Besides the blue and white, in case anyone cares about any other color, there's green, celadon, white, red, and orange. Best of all: trade prices! Great customer services make them an easy company to do business with.

These bird prints are popping up everywhere. Again, a room by Tom Scheerer. Here the bird prints, by a Swedish artist, are original. Everytime I turn around, I see another designer using these prints. Recently, I spied them in Bunny Williams' beach home, shown in her new book. If you can't afford the originals, Anthropology has the complete set, one is pictured below: I've not used them yet, but I'd love to find a client who is game.




Again from Anthropology, this iron bed is well priced and well made. It's beautiful when dressed up with linens like below:

Here, acclaimed designer Miles Redd uses a more upscale (expensive) model of the same bed. Redd apparently loves this bed, he's used it quite a few times.

Here, Redd, again uses the "Anthropology" bed with a more masculine feel.

And lastly, the English catalogue OKA Direct has great, inexpensive finds. The designer Michael Smith has been quoted as saying he buys all his dinner plates from OKA. He especially loves the above blue and white dinner set. I do too. One day, I plan to buy the set for my everyday dishes.

Besides dinnerware, OKA sells furniture, some of the painted variety, drapes, cushions (pillows to us Americans), accessories and rugs. I love this blue and white striped dhurri. A great item to use if you want a "Somethings Gotta Give" feel to a house.

I bought two of these vases from OKA. They are huge!!!! So huge that they overscaled everything in my house and I finally just put them on the floor on either side of a french door. Dealing with an English company may seem daunting to Americans, but OKA made it simple. A few weeks after I placed the order online, they arrived, well packed, and in one piece.

Have you ever bought any of my favorite catalogue picks? What are your favorites? Have you ever had a bad experience dealing with a catalogue or an online company? I'd love to hear about your favorite (or not so favorite) purchases. And, to those who made it all the way to the end of this post, as a reward for your endurance, if you want to buy something from the to-the-trade companies, email me and I will be happy to help you with the order.