Photograph Issues

Yes puppies, something is amiss with the photos lately.

Instead of opening up the full size image in the browser window when you click on them, a pesky "download image" message pops up. It's irritating and frustrating, but it's a Blogger issue that they are working on resolving.

In the meantime we are trying to figure out a work around.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Jerry Rice Cashes In in Atherton

SELLER: Jerry and Jackie Rice
LOCATION: Atherton Avenue, Atherton, CA
PRICE: $22,000,000
SIZE: 16,180 square feet, 7 bedrooms, 7 full and 3 half bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Very elegant California French Style on three levels with six bedroom suites, seven full and three half baths. First level library and additional upstairs office. Grand formal entry way, step down living room, family room with full bar, fabulous gourmet kitchen, first level home theatre, lower level game room with full bar, wine room, crafts room and full gym and underground, seven car garage with individual doors. The home features over 2 million dollars worth of electronics and security system with fully automated smart home features. Private and gated grounds on an approx 1.4 acres with swimming pool and spa, covered veranda with built-in heaters and speakers and stone outdoor fireplace, guest house with kitchenette and full bath surrounded by luscious lawns, fountains, pond and majestic trees for the utmost in privacy and security.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: As the children might imagine, Your Mama did not know who retired professional footballer Jerry Rice was until we did a quick search on the internets. Turns out he is a very accomplished man who won three big and gaudy Super Bowl rings (have you seen one of these monsters?) as a ball catcher with the San Francisco 49ers and in the process earned lots of awards, accolades, records and money.

Anyhoo, Mister Rice and his wifey Jackie have recently put their Atherton, CA estate on the market for a spine crunching $22,000,000. For the children who don't know Bay Area geography, let Your Mama school you a little. Atherton lies just south of San Francisco and it's known for its posh, dignified, and outrageously expensive estates. Some (although not Your Mama) might even call it the Beverly Hills of the Bay Area, and unless you're swimming in paper, don't even bother looking for a house in Atherton.

The Rice pad occupies a 1.4 acre flag lot that property records indicate they purchased in July of 1997 for $2,656,354. The sporty couple spent several years designing, planning and building the three level, 16,180 square foot house and only finished building their "California French" style dream house with 6 bedrooms suites 7 full and 3 half bathrooms five years ago.

According to listing information, there are scads of amenities that a ridiculous rich internet multi millionaire might appreciate...like an underground 7 car garage for the fleet of hybrids (this is the socially conscious Bay Area after all), over two million dollars in electronics and security, a first level home theatre, and a 5,000+ square foot basement level that includes a game room, full bar, wine room, a full gym and a crafts room (is this sorta like Miz Candy Spelling's gift wrapping room?).

Outside, on the private and gated property, we find a heated swimming pool and spa, a covered veranda with built in speakers and outdoor fireplace, "luscious lawns," fountains, a dog run/kennel, and a guest house with kitchenette and full bath. But no tennis court.

Personally, we don't like the faux chateau exterior of the house or the interior decor for which we're quite sure some queen charged Miz Jackie Rice an arm, a leg, and then some. Unless a house is sitting directly on the ocean where postage stamp lot sizes are standard, for $22,000,000, whether anyone uses it or not, Your Mama needs to see a tennis court and we don't see one here. Pity.

Let's do a little math here, kids. Property records show the Rice couple paid just over $2,6000,000 for the property. And for the sake of argument, let's just say they spent another ten or eleven million clams building the monster mansion, which wouldn't seem unbelievable, right? That means they could potentially haul a huge truckload of money to the bank if they sell this place anywhere near its asking price.

Not a bad way to make a few million bucks.

Are Angie Harmon and Jason Sehorn Fliping Out?

SELLERS: Angie Harmon and Jason Sehorn
LOCATION: San Ysidro Drive, Beverly Hills, CA
PRICE: $1,895,000
SIZE: 1,970 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Nestled in a quiet pocket of ultimate tranquility & secret seclusion on more than 2.5 acres. Newly remodeled. Gated, private drive & motor court. LR w/ pitched beam ceiling & fp, beautiful country eat-in kitchen, 2 guest bdrms w/ marble bath & stunning master ste w/ hi ceiling, fp, custom built-in cabinetry & luxurious marble bath. Breathtaking hillside landscape surround the property with quiet pathways inspiring thought of poetry and love...with an occasional family of deer to dazzle the sense.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Sorry puppies, Your Mama does not feel very snappy this morning as we're loaded up on cold medicine and coping with the tail end of a lingering cold that our cute but loud little nieces gave us while they were visiting for the Thanksgiving holiday. So bear with us while we do the best we can to formulate complete sentences and don't give Your Mama no lip because we are in no mood to get a bunch of chastising emails from you bitter hooligans. You know who you are.

Anyhoo, let's move forward and discuss the real estate doings of a couple of tinsel town Republicans this morning. Smoky voiced Law and Order graduate Angie Harmon, who now appears on some program called Women's Murder Club, and her squeaky clean professional footballer huzband Jason Sehorn, who looks like a damn gay porn star to Your Mama, have recently listed a house in the Beverly Hills Post Office for $1,895,000. Property records do not reveal to Your Mama's prying eyes what the couple paid for the private 2.5 acre property back in March of 2004, but they do indicate that the recently renovated and modestly sized house measures just 1,970 square feet with 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms.

Given that the Mediterraneans style house appears to be staged to within an inch of sanity (which leaves it feeling rather soul-less), Your Mama presumes that Miz Harmon and Mister Seahorn don't actually eat, sleep or even visit this property other than to make sure that Svetlana and Hesperia the cleaning gurls dust, vacuum and scrub their fingers to the nubbins making sure the place is shiny and perfectly clean for potential buyers. Well, maybe Angie and Jason bring their journals and sit out in the back and write love poetry sometimes too.

So, the children might ask, where do the George Bush supporters who spoke at the 2004 Republican National Convention live? Property records (and a well informed source) reveal to Your Mama that the couple and their two small children actually live a 4 bedroom, 6 bathroom, 6,377 square foot house on Round Meadow Road in the guard gated suburban celebrity enclave of Hidden Hills. Now, here's the juicy bizness kids...the family values voting couple's traditional style house sits right next door to the house that lefty lesbian married mommies Melissa Etheridge and Tammy Lynn Michaels recently purchased. Oh boy.

Picture the weekend scene on Round Meadow Round if you will: On one side of the fence a bunch of well to do short haired men in pressed khaki pants and polo shirts drink Corona beer with a lime shoved down the neck (just like in their frat house days), while perfectly made up long haired ladees gossip in the kitchen. Meanwhile, next door, short haired womyn in Birkenstocks and prairie skirts make quinoa and roasted red pepper salad for the children while Melissa plays the acoustic guitar and sings 1960s counter culture songs of revolution. We know to which back yard barbeque we'd want to be invited. Do you?

P.S. The conservative and traditional interior appointments of Harmon/Sehorn property are certainly not Your Mama's cup of tea, but we none the less think the renovation was a success (the staging less so), the kitchen and baths, while not to our taste, are well done, and we totally appreciate the gorgeous and secluded location which provokes us to ponder poetry and love. A delicious swimming pool cut into the hillside might even inspire Your Mama to write a haiku or two.