UPDATE: Pete Sampras

For some weeks now Your Mama has been beating and banging the brains of our better connected tipsters and sources trying to figure out just exactly WHO purchased tennis titan Pete Sampras' big Bev Hills mansion that was on the market for and spine tingling $23,000,000. Remember that hoity toity house children, all English Manor and exquisite with a-may-zing wood paneling, a spectacular oval swimming pool and park like grounds?

Anyhoo, after pulling our scalp nearly bald with frustration, we finally heard from one of our most unimpeachable sources Wanda Whistleblower who whispered conspiratorially in Your Mama's big ear that the luxurious house on lavish Loma Vista Drive was purchased by none other than residual rich Will and Grace co-creator Max Mutchnick and his unfortunately named entertainment attorney husband Erik Hyman. If the children put on their thinking caps they may recall that these are the same two high powered Hollywood homosexuals who got lezbiriffic talk show queen Ellen Degeneres to fork over twenty-nine and some million clams for their previous manse on Cabrillo Drive in Beverly Hills.

According to Miz Whistleblower, ever since these two real estate savvy men cashed Ellen's fat check they conducted a serious search for another trophy estate and they found it in the walled and gated 10,376 square foot mansion that includes 6 bedrooms and 12 bathrooms. Now that the deal is done, Your Mama imagines these two gentlemen are already on the horn lining up a few full time gurls–or boys–whose only responsibility will be to keep all twelve of them terlits sparking clean.

At this point Your Mama can not confirm the sale price of the house. However, one interesting tidbit that Miz Whistleblower did cough up is that on the day the papers were signed and the 1+ acre estate was turned over from the king of tennis to the two real estate queens, Miss Mutchnick handed Mister Sampras a can of spray paint and asked if he would autograph the tennis court. Miz Whistleblower swears on her over stuffed Cross Your Heart that Mister Sampras obliged.

Amanda Beard Shedding Her Venice House

SELLER: Amanda Beard
LOCATION: Garfield Avenue, Venice, CA
PRICE: $1,045,000
SIZE: 981 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 1 bathroom
DESCRIPTION: Come relax, and live Venice style in this charming and contemporary home. This home has it all, with a beautiful enclosed courtyard fully landscaped with exotic/imported plants. This 3 Bdrm/1 Br home is open with fantastic natural light, the kitchen has been redone, with gorgeous counter-tops and combed grain walnut cabinetry, a spa bath, as well as a fabulous open grassy garden in the backyard, additional upgrades and a detached garage. In this home, have it all.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Thanks to a covert contact from Chatterbox Chad, Your Mama has learned that seven time Olympic medalist and boobalicious bikini babe Amanda Beard has listed her Venice, CA beach bungalow for sale with an asking price of $1,045,000. Some of the children who don't know much about Miss Beard's breast stroking accolades may be more familiar with her actual breasts which she gleefully showed to the world on the glossy pages the July 2007 issue of Playboy.

Property records show that Miss Beard purchased her lilliputian cottage in August of 2006 for $1,045,000, a number all the eagle eyed children will recognize as the very same number that Miss Beard is currently asking for the house. Your Mama does not even need to consult our bejeweled abacus to figure out that Miss Beard is likely to lose a little money on this real estate transaction, a distinct possibility about which Your Mama is 100% certain all you churlish real estate Chicken Littles will make of huge hay. But you know what? Your Mama does not want to hear it. Everyone who reads the papers or listens to the damn news programs already knows the real estate market in Los Angeles is in a slump. Nobody needs any of you naughty children beating that dead, dead, dead horse.

According to property records, Miss Beards three bedroom and one bathroom beach bungalow measures in at a sardine can sized 981 square feet. How anyone managed to squeeze 3 bedrooms and a living/dining/kitchen combination into a house that measures in at less 1000 square feet is well beyond Your Mama's space planning comprehension.

Located about a mile from the beach and walking distance to Marina del Rey, the fully hedged and private property looks to have had some recent landscaping and renovation work. The front yard has been done up like a cozy courtyard with large stones, slate patios and a fun ad fantastic orange outdoor fireplace from the 1970s. Lawhd children, Your Mama just swoons over just about anything that is orange and this fire place is no exception.

Inside it appears that Miss Beard visited Ikea for her depressingly ordinary living and dining room furniture. The kitchen has been fitted with perfectly reasonable wood cabinets and black granite counter tops and we do appreciate that she injected the room with a little color with the red dining room chairs. However, it is all a little tight, isn't it?

Miss Beard got a little gusty in the master bedroom with that ka-razy black and white duvet which we find acceptable if not our particular taste. But gurly-gurl should have high-tailed it right back to Ikea for a pair of inexpensive bedside tables so she could toss those ghastly grandma style ones in the garbage. Your Mama can appreciate that Miss Beard attempted to add a little lighting style with that $99.00 capiz shell chandelier from West Elm, but if she really wanted to make a statement she should have called our good friend Gwen Carlton who custom makes the most ravishing capiz shell creations that money can buy and make those things from West Elm look like chintzy and cheap knock-offs...which of course, they are.

Anyhoo, moving out into the back yard and we have a nice deck for sipping gin and tonics and a wee patch of grass for the pooches. The two-car garage has been turned into some sort of uglee office/surf board storage area. Clearly Miss Beard's strength are competitive swimming and posing in the nood and not doing up the day-core.

Your Mama wishes Miss Beard all the luck in the world unloading her teeny tiny American dream and we sincerely hope that when she get settled in her next nest she'll ring Your Mama so that we can give her a long list of nice gay decorators who can help her with the day-core.

Welcome Miss Laine and Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Little Girl Bedrooms!

 

Almost exactly two years ago to the day, our family went from this:

 

to this:

 

when my nephew Philip married Allison and they had a little girl, Laine, this Monday afternoon!  Isn't she just the cutest thing in the world?  Well, of course!

The new baby makes me a Great Aunt,  my sister a grandmother (!!!) and my parents Great Grandparents  - all for the first time.  While we are adjusting to our new senior status in life, little Laine's parents are getting settled into their new home and the baby is sleeping in her own adorable room!   Congratulations you three!

 

 

 

The face of today's grandmother!    Laine (in the bassinet), Sandy - maternal grandmother, and on the right, Cathy, my sister and paternal grandmother.  Cathy has chosen to be called "Honey" instead of Grannie and her husband will be called "Pops."   Notice please, that they are both wearing pink in Laine's honor, while she is sporting just a white diaper.  Something tells me this will be the last time this baby is not wearing the most adorable of outfits.  Also wearing pink on birth day were the father and the two grandfathers.   It was a theme, natch.

 

 

That's MY  baby!   Elisabeth was born right across the hall from Laine, 17 years ago!  Hard to believe it's been 17 years, seems like yesterday.  I noticed that the birthing rooms hadn't been remodeled in all that time either.  Elisabeth was born with a head of hair just as black as Laine's.  It all fell out when she was about 4 months old and grew back in white blonde.  After turning mousy brown around her 12th year, she started putting lemon juice on it, which turned her hair a pretty shade of orange.  Now, as you can see, she is back to being white blonde, thanks to the bottle.

 

 

Moi, the great aunt with the big old hands, my nephew Philip - the new daddie, my daughter, and my father - the new great grandfather.   Unfortunately, the new great grandmother, Betty Rae, was home sick with a cold and had to miss the initial excitement.  Needless to say, she was none too pleased to be sick.

 

 

My other nephew - Jeffrey, the new uncle.  Girls - he's available!!!!!   Email me if you want a date with him.  :)He wore orange and white in honor of the University of Texas.  Hopefully, in 18 years, Laine will be Longhorn herself.

 

 

Laine's nursery is adorable, all pink, no doubt!  with accents of green.   Of course you knew I was going to bring design into this somehow!   Babies' room have  come a long way since the days of having  just a crib, a rocker, and a changing table.   The first thing many mothers-to-be do upon hearing the good news is to hire a decorator.   Some interior designers specialize in kids rooms, and  there are countless decor stores catering to the younger set.  What a perfect time for me to take a closer look at what is going on in the world of little girl rooms since I haven't thought about that for 17 years.    One day I might be interested in little boy rooms, but not now! 

 

The movie star Jennifer Lopez chose this nursery for her twins - boy and girl, although this room is definitely all girl.  Crystal chandelier, iron twin cribs, peach colored walls, lace half canopies, and peach and cream silk curtains.  Adorable!

 

Dark rose instead of light pink dominates here.  This shade of pink seems to be very popular for girl rooms. 

 

 

For this nursery, Candice Olson used moss greens with hot pinks and lavenders. 

A close up of the alcove bed shown above.  Love the oversized clock.

 

This contemporary nursery uses adult elements and colors, but somehow it still looks like a baby girl's room.  Unusual, but attractive.

 

Suellen Gregory designed this nursery - it's one of my favorites:  gray silk curtains mixed with shades of apricot bedding and toile wallpaper.  The patterned carpet is cream and apricot.  Just heavenly!!!!

 

A room for sisters, one baby, one toddler:  lavender and lime green.  This color combination is another popular 2000's choice for girls.  Notice the cornice with trim on the curtains. 

This room is pink and brown,  an unusual color combination for a nursery.

 

 

When the little baby girl turns toddler, here are some ideas for the former nursery.  Deep rose and green color combination.  I love the drapery trim and the matching trim on the lampshade.  The flowers drawn on the wall are a nice touch.

 

 

Designer Katie Ritter used a pink and black fabric for this little girl's Moroccan theme room.  Notice how Ritter cut out the canopy to further the exotic feel of the room.

 

 

White, blue and hot pink for this little girl.

 

Purple and white stripes with lime green walls.  Again, cut out, trimmed valances add a Hollywood Regency feel to this room.

 

 

Jonathan Adler designed this toddler girl's room with checks and a vibrant print.  Notice the adorable shade on the light fixture.  Also, Adler took a staid, grown up chest and painted it a youthful, bright yellow - a good idea for adult furniture when parents no longer want in their own rooms.

These adorable twin beds gain an exotic touch with the zebra painted headboards mixed with traditional toile curtains.

 

Gwyneth Paltrow's toddler daughter Apple sleeps in this cute room in her Southampton home.

 

Peach and cream stripes with brown and white houndstooth make a nice combination for this little girl.  Notice the trend alert Saarinen table on the left.

 

 

Designsnitch used chocolate brown walls and a deep watermelon pink for this room.  So adorable!    But, the wall to wall carpet would not be my choice here.  A flat weave, patterned carpet would be so much more interesting.  In fact, I can't think of any room that plain wall to wall plush carpet looks good in!

I adore this room that Timothy Whealon designed for his nieces. Ethnic cotton fabrics seem to be in vogue for girl rooms.  Inexpensive and colorful, these fabrics replace the loud, polyester varieties once used extensively in kid rooms.  Thank God!

 

Twin beds in deep, deep pink and blues.

 

A contemporary room with a mixture of trendy pinks and oranges.  Notice the acrylic table floating atop a white flokati rug on the painted white floor.  This room could last from baby to little girl to young adult - something to consider when moving a toddler from the nursery.

 

Kathryn Ireland designed fabric canopies for this girl's bedroom.

 

 

A more traditional girl's room with deep pink carpet and toile wallpaper inset in the wall molding.  An oversized antique mirror competes with a hippie style hanging chair.  Again, a patterned carpet would have been a more interesting choice for this room.  This is something I fight over with clients on a continual basis.  Can someone explain to me the appeal of this type of floor covering?  Seriously?  I don't get it.

 

Suellen Gregory designed this English styled bedroom with chintz wallpaper and curtains.  Classic and feminine.

 

Houston `interior designer Katie Stassis designed this hot pink bedroom for one daughter and.....

 

this lavender and bright yellow room for her other daughter.  Small rugs are laid over wall to wall seagrass matting.   Good choice here - the seagrass adds texture and subtle color and is a great alternative to wall to wall carpet.  Stassis was named to domino magazine's Top Ten New Designers this year.  Congratulations Katie!!!

 

Candice Olson gave this room a French poodle theme.  Ball trim highlights the curtains and shades.  Total kitsch but cute.

 

 

This Candice Olson room is more traditional.  Hand drawn molding on the dusty pink walls.  Over the top drapery treatments, so typical of Olson, who loves a plethora of trim and pillows and detail everywhere.

  French for a teenage girl, by Cathy Kinkaid.  Nice - I like!!

 

Timothy Whealon uses warm pinks, monogrammed sheets, and bright fabrics.

 

   

Hot, hot, hot pink dresses down formal French furniture.  Isn't she the cutest with her little yellow laptop!  Ah, a girl after my own heart.  Hey cutie - where's the Starbucks?

Suzanne Kasler uses deep, deep pinks for this girl's room.  Note the hanging swing on the right and the matching vintage love seats.  The graphic patterned curtain fabric gives the room just the right touch of youthfulness.

 

Pink, navy,  and black.  Trim on the headboard pops in the room, as does the patterned carpet.  Madeline Weinrib pillows.

 

For the younger girl, a painted mural.  Unfortunately, this type of wall treatment won't last very long when a school aged girl demands a more grown up look.  Better to spend your money elsewhere than on dated murals.

 

 

 

Lavender toile and formal french furniture for an attic bedroom.   Technically a nursery with the crib on the left - a room designed like this could last from baby to college aged.

The above bedroom's bathroom with a toile skirted sink.  Notice the painted French trumeau mirror.    Adorable.

Peach checks and toiles, wallpaper and patterned rug.

 

Swedish bedroom for a tween girl.  Checks and mini prints.

 

White flokati rug, light blues and a wonderful tufted chaise make this tween room glamorous. 

 

 

Blue and white classic toile will go from little ones to an adult guest bedroom.

 

Great idea for a nightstand - use a skirted vanity table instead.  So pretty!  But, unfortunately the choice of lamps is questionable, showing the importance of attention to the smallest of details  when planning a room.        Suellen Gregory.

 

So what have we learned today?  Well, wall to wall carpet is a no-no anywhere - seagrass or patterned carpets are much better aesthetically.   Murals are a waste of good money.  Watermelon pink and lime green are a hot color combination with lavender and lime green a close second.   Rooms with traditional furniture will last a lot longer than "juvenile" furniture.  Curtains with trimmed valances are trend alerts!  Monogrammed sheets and pillows are in style.   Inexpensive cotton ethnic and indienne fabrics are good alternatives to cheap, polyester kiddie  fabrics.  And .....  my new great niece Laine is adorable!!!!!