Ellen Does it Three Times On Cabrillo Drive

While visiting the left coast last week, a good lookin' and well built acquaintance of Your Mama's whispered in our big ol' ear that he heard through the gurl gossip grapevine that talk show titan Ellen Degeneres and gal pal Portia Di Rossi had scooped up a third property on Cabrillo Drive (shown above).

And you know what children? Our little talkative tipster was correct. A peek into the property records reveals that the lesbian lovebirds–who are bizzy as beavers planning their upcoming big gay wedding–did indeed recently close on the last piece of the Cabrillo Drive real estate puzzle that will allow the Sapphic sisters to request permission from the city of Bev Hills to gate the entire damn street and provide them with the perfectly private lesbian lair they've long craved.

Let's recap: First the couple forked over a mind numbing and jaw dropping 29 and some million clams in a private deal for Will and Grace co-creator Max Mutchnick's recently built house that measures 8,500+ square feet and includes a detached guest house and staff quarters located under the infinity edge swimming pool. Yes children, under. Miz Moneybags quickly whirled around and spent another $8,500,000 to buy the 4,580 square foot house across the tiny street that was owned by celebrity real estate agent Jade Mills which Miz D and Missus dR tore down tout de suite.

Miz Degeneres then set her real estate sights on the third and final house on Cabrillo Drive and because money talks she was able to convince the long time owners to sell. Records to not indicate what Miz Degeneres paid for the third property that sits below the two other properties on a hair pin turn, but what is clear is that she has spent somewhere in the neighborhood of $40,000,000 for her Bev Hills compound, a massive and perhaps even masochistic amount of money for these three properties.

Your Mama can't help but wonder if the gurls plan on using the 2,785 square foot house with 1 bedroom and 3 bathrooms as another guest house, staff accommodations, converting it into a security center/gate house or if they'll tear the bitch down and cantilever a tennis court out over the canyon. With this peripatetic pair, one never knows what pricey and privacy making plans they have up their real estate sleeves.

Whatever the case Your Mama asks, pleads and begs that none of you moe-rons get the not very wise idea to motor your automobiles up Cabrillo Drive. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not ever. Not only would that be stoopid, but you're likely to get a wicked and well deserved ass pounding by one of Miz D and Missus dR's beefy security goons.

JoeBabs Selling Again

SELLER: Joseph Babajian
LOCATION: Warner Avenue, Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $1,995,000
SIZE: 2,011 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 1.75 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Built in 1935 w/ architectural integrity preserved. Timeless design w/ great scale, proportion & symmetry, wonderful authentic moldings & details. Recently restored & brilliantly refined w/ updated kitchen, baths, wd flring & new roof, central A/C. Separate den/office w/ built-in bookshelves. Formal dining rm plus charming junior dining rm. Private brick courtyard w/ fireplace.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: It's been quite some time since Your Mama has heard hide, hair or how-dee-do about much maligned and publicly shamed celebrity real estate agent Joseph Babajian who was indicted late last year on multiple counts of conspiracy, bank fraud and loan fraud. In fact, the last we heard was in late March 2008 when his recently and expensively renovated 3 bedroom and 3.5 bathroom domicile in Trousdale Estates sold for $6,510,000. But thanks to Our Fairy Godmother in Beverly Hills, Your Mama has learned that another of JoeBabs' properties has been recently listed for sale.

Located on Warner Avenue in the leafy, lush and centrally located Little Holmby section of Los Angeles, the 2,011 square foot house currently carries an asking price of $1,995,000 and happens to sit spitting distance from Candy Spelling's famously monstrous mansion on S. Mapleton Drive. Property records show that JoeBabs purchased the modest ranch house in February of 2003, long before news of his alleged real estate scheming and conniving became public. Although JoeBabs took a $789,000 mortgage at the time of purchase, Your Mama finds it interesting that the sale price is undisclosed. Hmm. Probably nothing suspicious, but with all JoeBabs' bad press we can't help but look a little cross-eyed at all his real estate doings.

Anyhoo, listing information for the renovated residence shows it includes three bedrooms, 1.75 bathrooms, a nicely sized living room with wood burning fireplace, a den with built-in bookshelves which will be appreciated by the few folks who read actual books anymore, and an updated kitchen with depressing drawer pulls and low-brow tile counter tops. Listing information also indicates there is both a formal dining room and a junior dining room. Your Mama has never heard of a junior dining room but we presume that is high-fallutin' real estate speak for the smart looking breakfast room which has been staged with a slightly too small Saarinen table and a couple of cozy 1940s era upholstered armchairs.

Thanks the keen eyes of one of Your Mama's children we now notice that the oval mirrors in the bathroom are hanging over the damn window. Yes, we realize that people need a mirror to pluck, pick and preen, but surely there was a better solution than this.

Always a fan of outdoor rooms, Your Mama finds the interior courtyard inviting and lovely. Once the awning striped patio furniture was swapped out for something more to our liking we can imagine that sitting next to the outdoor fireplace working the knitting needles and sipping gin and tonics would be a perfectly pleasant way to spend the a late November afternoon. However, it concerns and troubles Your Mama that this appears to be the only outdoor space besides the front yard and the long driveway up the side of the house. While this somewhat wee courtyard would be adequate for Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter's long bodied bitches Linda and Beverly, it might not be so desirable for someone with a few bratty toddlers who require swing sets, sand boxes and room to swing a cat by its tail.

A quick search of property records reveals that the once high and mighty real estate agent who regularly brokered multi-million dollar deals for the likes of David Beckham and The Spice Gurl, sold a 1,370 square foot house on Sunset Ridge Drive in Laguna Beach in November of 2007 for $2,650,000. Records show JoeBabs bought the 2 bedroom and 2 bathroom house in the Emerald Terrace neighborhood in December of 2004 for an even steven $2,000,000. Records also show that JoeBabs continues to own the small apartment building on N. Sweetzer in West Hollywood that he purchased in March of 2006 as well as a 2,057 square foot house on S. Palm Drive in Beverly Hills that he purchased in March of 2003.

So it would seem that ol' JoeBabs is unlikely to wind up homeless even after he hands over the considerable cash required to pay his high priced attorneys.

Wednesday Morning Mish Mash

1.
Former CSI sex pot Khandi Alexander is having a real bitch of a time getting her Los Angeles khrib sold. The poor thing first listed her Woodshill Trail quoin-set hut (shown above) at an unimaginable $4,495,000 where is sat and sat and sat some more. First came a whopping million dollar price reduction and then the asking price was hacked to $2,995,000, just above the $2,850,000 that property records show Miss Alexander paid in January of 2006 for the 4,126 square foot house with four full floors of elevator-less living. The listing was recently marked "Looking for Backup" which would indicate that a buyer finally stepped up to take this real estate white elephant off Miss Alexander's delicate hands. But alas... that buyer seems to have evaporated like the wind and the house is back on the market and still available for someone who might enjoy spending their evenings peering and peeping through the panes of The Chateau Marmont which is located just behind the house.

2.
Academy award winning actress Angela Bassett has also been struggling to unload her Hancock Park home (shown above) for longer than Your Mama cares to remember. First listed for $5,999,000, the asking price for the 5 bedroom and 7.5 bathroom house on guard gated Fremont Place has been karate chopped all the way down to its current asking price of $3,900,000. The listing is currently marked "Looking for Backup" which indicates that the property is in escrow. Hallelujah! Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter can both rest easier now that someone has finally coughed up the cash for Miz Bassett's private gym, hair salon, guest house and European style back yard.

3.
Some time ago boob tube scribe and producer Mark Brazill (That 70s Show, 3rd Rock From the Sun) bought a big house on Aberdeen Road in Los Feliz from fashionista music icon Gwen Stefani and her husband Gavin Rossdale. Property records show the notoriously bombastic Mister Brazill paid $4,795,000 for the 5 bedroom and 4 bathroom Mediterranean manse (shown above). Rumors swirled that Mister Brazill only bought the house to thwart a purchase by an industry rival, but that's just rumor and gossip that Your Mama knows nuthin' about so don't any of you children go repeating that like it's gospel 'cause it ain't.

Whatever the reason for the purchase, Mister Brazill clearly had no interest in keeping the casa and quickly flipped it back on the market with an asking price of $4,885,000. After many months of sitting around without a buyer, the price was given a serious karate chopped all the way down to $3,995,000, a figure which Your Mama's bejeweled abacus indicates will result in a teeth chattering financial loss for Mister Brazill.

This is not the first time that Mister Brazill will have to accept considerably less than he wanted for a high priced house. Property records show that in February of 2008 he sold a house in Toluca Lake for $2,850,000 which had earlier been listed at $3,900,000. Uh oh. Your Mama hopes Mister Brazill is still receiving some big fat residual checks to cover his recent real estate losses.

4.
Once upon a time funny ladee Brett Butler, a deep voiced southern blond with a reputation for being a wee bit difficult to work, had a television show of her own called Grace Under Fire that ran for five reasonably successful seasons in the mid-1990s. Back in 1994, when the TV money was rolling in like a tidal wave, Miz Butler went out and bought herself a celebrity style house on Woodrow Wilson Drive in the hills high above Hollywood for an undisclosed amount of money.

Fast forward to April of 2008 when Miz Butler listed her 3 bedroom, 4 bathroom and 3,314 square foot house with swimming pool, guest house, three fireplaces and sweeping city and Hollywood sign views with an asking price of $2,347,000. After several price chops and at least one deal that fell out of escrow, the property has finally sold for the nice round number of $2,000,000.

We don't have a clue where the once rehabbed and twice dee-vorced Miz Butler is headed, but Your Mama would not be surprised to hear that she's bee lining it back her native Alabama where two millions clams goes a long way in the in the real estate game.

5.
It certainly didn't take long for pulchritudinous Paul Bettany and Oscar winning actress Jennifer Connelly to unload their Brooklyn townhouse. According to the online listing, the 5,276 square foot Golden Age limestone mansion has already gone to contract and the rumor sweeping up and down Park Slope's 7th Avenue is that it's being sold for very close to the $8,500,000 asking price. The extremely successful but low key couple served as the de facto poster children for the Brooklyn real estate renaissance having scooped up their speck-tack-u-lar Prospect Park West mansion with 9 bedrooms and 3.5 bathrooms in August of 2003 for $3,700,000.

All rumors and reports say that Miz Connelly and Mister Bettany have purchased a $7,000,000 (approx.) loft in the hideously expensive and tragically trendy celebrity and Wall Street enclave of TriBeCa. At least Brooklyn still has Oscar nominated Michelle Williams, one of the gays from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, and of course the newly anointed king and queen of Brooklyn based celebrities Maggie Gyllenhaal and Peter Sarsgaard. For now.

Could this mark the beginning of the end of the Brooklyn or bust trend of the last 5 or 8 years? There isn't anything wrong with living in Brooklyn. In fact there are many and multiple reasons why it's a perfectly lovely place to reside. However, many die-hard Manhattanites moved to the borough of Brooklyn to escape the high cost of living in Manhattan and now that it's nearly as expensive to shack up in Park Slope, will they still suffer the 40 minute subway ride?