Music Manager Paul Rosenberg Moving On

SELLER: Paul Rosenberg
LOCATION: Beach Street, New York, NY
PRICE: $4,950,000
SIZE: 4,634 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 3.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: ...a massive 4634 sf triplex with 785 sf of combined outdoor space, currently configured as three bedrooms (two en suite masters), 3.5 baths, plus a home office & dining area.Not only is this an elegant loft home, but a total environment as well which offers a patio with hot tub and outdoor Viking Professional grill with food and beverage center, a Crestron system which has integrated speakers and lighting control throughout every room and patio, home theatre room, glass enclosed wine and cigar bar, game room, and exercise room with sauna...

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Whenever we get a hankering for the hustle and bustle of New York City we poke around the internets to see who might be selling what. Our most recent spin through the always informative StreetEasy turned up a 3 bedroom and 3.5 bathroom TriBeCa triplex maisonette owned by music manager Paul Rosenberg and currently listed with an asking price of $4,950,000.

While Mister Rosenberg is hardly a household name, his number one client is. In addition to managing angry Academy Award winning white rapper Eminem, Mister Rosenberg has also had his voice sampled on most (if not all) of Mister Eminem's albums and together the pair founded Shady Records, a label that also signed D12 (whoever that is) and the mega-rich money machine that is 50 Cent. Mister Rosenberg also manages The Knux and Three 6 Mafia (who won an academy award for their song It's Hard Out Here For A Pimp from the film Hustle and Flow) as well as co-manages the newly reformed pop-punk band Blink 182.

Property records and previous reports reveal that Mister Rosenberg scooped up the 4,634 square foot Beach Street maisonette, carved out of a former warehouse known as the Fischer Mills building, in August of 2002 for around $2,700,000. For all the non-New York puppies who don't know because they probably don't exist in places like Peoria, a maisonette is a multi-story house-like apartment, usually on the ground floor of a larger building, that possesses its own entrance from the outside. Maisonettes provide the privacy of a private home, but still have access to the amenities and security measures offered by the building.

According to listing information, the maisonette's main floor, includes 14-16 foot ceilings, lots of exposed brick and the original, rough-hewn wood beams and column supports which are classic (if cliché) TriBeCa loft conversion aesthetic features. The living room measures nearly 600 square feet and includes loads of built in storage cabinets, a wet bar and an small section of thick glass flooring that looks down into and provides much needed light for what listing information calls a "wine and cigar bar" on the lower floor.

Also on the main level is a stone floored kitchen with maple cabinetry, black counter tops that appear to be stone rather than granite and a large work island with a quartet of bar stools similar to those that can be found in about a thousand cheap Chinese food restaurants below 23rd Street. The adjacent dining room has a soaring 16 foot ceiling, a set of French doors that open to a balcony overlooking the apartment's private patio below, and an entire wall covered in varying shades of green color-blocks that we'd bet our long bodied bitches Linda and Beverly are leather panels affixed to the wall. Rather unfortunately, a powder pooper for guests opens directly into the dining room, which for obvious reasons is not optimal but could easily be relocated to a slightly better location on an adjacent wall.

One of the maisonette's two master bedrooms completes the middle level and features two sets of French doors opening to the aforementioned balcony, a couple of not particularly commodious closets and a bathroom with a radiant heated stone floor. Hovering above the living space is a small loft office space and a second master bedroom with more generously sized closets than the master on the main floor and a large bathroom also, we presume, fitted with radiant heated floors, a feature Your Mama's tootsies can not get enough of.

The lowest level of the triplex is where it becomes obvious that a man lives here. In addition to guest bedroom with direct access to the private patio, there is a home gym set-up with a dry sauna large enough to accommodate a few friends, a windowless recreation room with a round, poker game friendly table and chairs, an arcade game or two, a glassed enclosed wine and cigar bar and a media room with stone walls, caramel leather cover recliner like chairs.

A small and enviable private garden includes a built in grill area and a hot tub which sounds like a good idea except we're more than a little concerned about all the windows that might look down into the patio which would make skinny dipping and hooking up with a hottie a bit more of a exhibitionist's fantasy that Your Mama would feel comfortable.

According to listing information, Mister Rosenberg first put his three floor bachelor pad on the market in November of 2008 with an asking price of $5,450,000 and recently hacked five hundred grand off the price, a not so unusual maneuver in a somewhat stagnant Manhattan real estate market. None the less, Your Mama's bejeweled abacus shows that even if Mister Rosenberg has to slice and dice the asking price even further, he could still easily pocket a million or more smackers on a sale which is, of course, nothing to sneeze at.

Anthony Clark Is Flipping Out Again

SELLER: Anthony Clark
LOCATION: Senalda Road, Los Angeles CA
PRICE: $1,995,000
SIZE: 2,574 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Extraordinary brand nu 2009 remodel never been lived in. 2 years in the making! The finest materials & design. Amazing residence w/ serene Costa Rica style cnyn vus. Magnif Douglas Fir hi pitch beam ceilings. Beaut ironwood, teakwood, oak, slate, & basalt accents thru-out. Dramatic black bamboo flrs. Sub-zero kitchen. Fleetwood doors. Hansgrohe fixtures. Master suite has incredible entertaining terrace & all glass window bath w/ grand steam shower. 3rd bedroom has sep entrance.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Back in early January Your Mama discussed a couple of California cribs being flipped by actor/comedian Anthony Clark who the children may remember from his six year spin as an excessively uptight film executive on the now canceled sit-com Yes, Dear.

We first discussed Mister Clark's Robert Byrd designed digs at the tippy-top of Outpost Drive in Los Angeles which listing information shows is still available with an asking price of $2,395,000 (reduced from $2,795,000). Mister Clark, according to listing information, would also be willing to lease the house at $7,800 per month under just about any circumstances...short term, long term, furnished or unfurnished.

The very next day we shooshed on down to lovely (if way too boho-luxe for our taste anymore) Laguna Beach where Mister Clark is selling a comely contemporary house on Coast View Drive. Listing information reveals the 3 bedroom and 3.5 bathroom dwelling was first listed nearly a year ago with an asking price of $3,289,000, a figure that has been hugely hacked to $2,495,000 and which records show is just $295,000 more than he paid for the place in April of 2004.

Recently Mister Clark flipped a third property in the celebrity packed Outpost Estates area of Los Angeles onto the market. Located on Senalda Drive and just a few doors down from Scarlett Johansson's never lived in mansion on the same street, the property is currently priced at $1,995,000 after recently receiving a substantial $200,000 price chop from its original listing price of $2,195,000.

A peep into the property records reveals that Mister Clark, one of the few out homosexual actors in Hollywood, picked up the property in June of 2007 for $1,200,000. Mister Clark spent the next couple of years fixing up the fixer upper (and it was truly a fixer children because we've seen the photos).

Listing information shows the hillside house measures 2,574 square feet and includes 3 bedrooms and 4 bathrooms, a bed to bath ratio the Dr. Cooter swoons over, but one our harsh tongued house gurl Svetlana does not feel the same way about for obvious reasons.

As do many houses in the hills above Hollywood, the front facade is set back only a few feet from the road behind a stacked stone pony wall and has been clad in lovely horizontal strips of multi-toned woods that may or may not be ironwood and/or teak. Now listen here children, Your Mama does not want to hear from all you whiners who want to prattle on about how terrible it is that this house sits close the road. For your information, there are probably about 19 cars that drive by here everyday and whether any of you rural queens or space hogs like it or not, geography often dictates that houses in the hills hug the streets on which they sit.

Anyhoo, the organic modern vibe continues on the interiors where the floors are either feel good on your feet slate or durable and environmentally friendly black bamboo. The open plan living/dining and kitchen areas share a high peaked wood ceiling and floor to ceiling windows that open to a series of not quite big enough to bbq balconies.

The horizontal motif returns in the kitchen which is wrapped in strips oak and teak (and perhaps iron wood). A complete suite of high grade stainless steel appliances have been slipped into custom oak cabinets topped with basalt counter tops. We are particularly fond of the nearly 900 pound, 2-door and 4-drawer Sub-Zero refrigerator/freeze that costs somewhere in the neighborhood of fourteen thousand dollars.

The master bedroom, located on the lower level, continues with the organic shit and features a stacked stone wall, more of that beauteous black bamboo flooring and gigantic bathroom with double sinks, a party sized steam shower and a soaking tub that sits in front of a wall of windows that slide open so that the soft scents of pine and scrub can waft in while sitting in a pool of dirty water.

Due to it's hillside perch, there really isn't much of a yard for kiddies or our long bodied bitches Linda and Beverly , but a large covered terrace has been fashioned out of what was once just the spider filled underneath part of the house. Easy maintenance Mother-in-law's tongue plants have been planted up against the house in a planting bed filled with some of those zen-ish grey stones and little green poofy plants. Although we think those paltry pillows and that little wicker table thing-a-majig are simply unacceptable as patio furniture (what grown person who doesn't contort their body with that yoga shit can get up and down off the floor like that?) we can imagine that with the proper outdoor furniture set-up, this under the house terrace would be a nice place to sip gin and tonics while reading the latest gossip glossies and watching the sun go down through the "Costa Rica like" trees that dot the slope below the house and obscure what might actually be a spectacular view if they weren't there. A less environmentally inclined person will figure out a way to send those trees to the wood chipper, but clearly Mister Clark is a tree lover.

It's unclear to Your Mama which of Mister Clark's three houses he inhabits (or if he lives in yet another property) but we presume he'll simply move to one or another when one of his three properties finally sells to someone appreciative of this renovation style. Your Mama hopes Mister Clark sells something soon–or gets a damn acting job–because just thinking about his crushing monthly carrying costs makes Your Mama shudder.

The Big Digs of Deion Sanders

SELLER: Deion and Pilar Sanders
LOCATION: N. Preston Road, Prosper, TX
PRICE: $21,000,000
SIZE: 29,122 square feet, 10 bedrooms, 9 full and 4 half bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: The ultimate party and family ranch. 2 story entry, sunken living, banquet dining, your own Dave and Busters, indoor basketball court and bowling alley, indoor and outdoor pools, movie theatre, billiard room, hall of fame gallery, football field, 12 acre lake, tennis court, guest house, 10 car garage, furniture negotiable, approx. living area 29,112 sq. ft. and 38,831 gross sq. ft. footage in main home.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Thanks to the Texas Twostepper we've learned that notorious egomaniac, publicity hound, sports commentator, reality television star (Deion & Pilar: Prime Time Love), and retired professional athlete Deion Sanders and his wifey Pilar have listed their farm/estate in Prosper, TX with an asking price of $21,000,000.

Not being familiar with much in the way of the manly sports, Your Mama had to take to the internets to figure out who this Deion Sanders person is. Our brief research showed that not only did the man play professional baseball he also played professional football for the Atlanta Falcons, the San Francisco 49ers and the Dallas Cowboys who in 1995 paid the well-built corner back $35,000,000 for a seven year contract that included a staggering $12,999,000 signing bonus. He later, according to the interweb, played with the pigskin for the Washington Redskins and finally the Baltimore Ravens before hanging up his cleats. Football players wear cleats, right?

Deion and Pilar's property sits 10 or 20 long miles north of the Dallas metro-plex on more than 100 acres of flat lands in picayune Prosper, TX. Now children, we don't know eh-nee-thing about real estate in North Texas, but we have a hard time imagining there are many moguls or oil tycoons looking to drop twenty some million clams on a house in teeny-tiny and not particularly prosperous Prosper, TX where we can assure you there isn't much in the way of businesses that cater to Maybach owners and Gucci lovers.

Listing information shows Mister Sanders' sprawling mega-mansion of indeterminate and indiscriminate architectural style measures a titanic 29,122 square feet of glossy marble floors, soaring ceilings, colossal crystal chandeliers and some of the most disturbing drapery Your Mama has seen in a very long time. The house is so humongous that the able bodied Mister Sanders often gets around on one of those Rascal scooters that are more commonly used by the old, the infirm, the physically decrepit and apparently, the lazy.

According to listing information, the multi-winged monster mansion contains 10 bedrooms including a first floor master bedroom suite with a sitting room that spins like a damn turn table, a large, round and orgy friendly bed, more smoked glass and black lacquer than we recommend be in one place at one time, a two story walk-in closet, kitchen, a behemoth bathroom with a garden tub (whatever that is) and a private 2-car attached garage separate from the 10 or 12 other garage spaces that house Mister Sanders extensive collection of tricked out whips located at the opposite end of the house.

Listing information also shows there are 9 full and 4 half bathrooms which our bejeweled abacus shows adds up to an unlucky thirteen terlits. Our tyrannical and seriously superstitious house gurl Svetlana would demand that Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter either add or remove a bathroom before she'd even step across the threshold because she refuses to enter a house with 13 of anything.

There are, according to one listing we located, multiple staircases, an elevator, 5 fireplaces, 3 dining areas and 7 living areas including a marble floored, hotel lobby sized living room featuring funeral home style curtains. The vast and seriously dated kitchen complex includes maple cabinets, marble floors, stainless steel appliances and black counter tops and accents. Other rooms include a family room with 10 tee-vees and 2 security monitors, a library, a solarium, a home gym, office, billiard room, a barber shop and something called a "Hall of Fame Gallery." There are probably about a dozen other rooms for various uses we can not even fathom and there is a detached guest house in the back for all those who think 10 bedrooms in the mega-sized main house is not enough space when it comes to shacking up the in-laws.

Outdoor and recreational facilities include a multi-level movie theater, an indoor swimming pool and spa with some of the ass ugliest swagged drapery we have ever had the displeasure of witnessing with our own eyes, a two-lane bowling alley, an indoor basketball court, two adjacent outdoor swimming pools including a lagoon style number with a concrete island in the middle, a party sized outdoor spa, a 12-acre lake stocked with fish, equestrian facilities, pasture lands...breathe, breathe, breathe...a sport court, children's playground, sunken trampoline, batting cage, a full sized damn football field (with goal posts), a lighted tennis court and a gargantuan game room modeled after a Dave & Busters which, much to Your Mama's horror, is some sort of restaurant, arcade, sports bar and gambling parlor franchise.

We can't imagine why Mister and Missus Sanders, who have three young children together and two more teenagers from Mister Sanders' previous marriage, would want to up and sell this self-contained estate that while depressing to Your Mama's delicate decorative sensibilities is surely a resort-like wonderland for pre-teens, toddlers and adult men who do not want to grow up.

For a more in depth peep at Deion's digs check this out but Your Mama recommends y'all get yerself a nerve pill and pour some booze down yer gullet first.