Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Alec Baldwin Seeks to Sell Two at the Eldorado


SELLER: Alec Baldwin
LOCATION: Central Park West, New York City, NY
PRICE: $7,500,000
SIZE: 3 bedrooms, 3.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Enter into an elegant gallery off your private elevator landing. The corner living room facing north and east provide astounding views, wood burning fireplace, elegant crown moldings, and a scale giving you the sense of an airy grandeur ideal for gatherings. You will also find off the gallery a formal dining room, paneled library and windowed powder room. All bedrooms have ensuite baths, two of which face directly over the park. The corner master suite facing south and east is newly refurbished offering ample closet space, built ins, surround sound and a windowed marble bath facing the park with soaking tub and separate shower. The eat in kitchen has been enlarged and is equipped with exterior ventilation over a 6 burner Viking range with double ovens, Traulsen double refrigerator, Traulsen wine storage unit, plenty of pantry space and staff room with full bath and laundry.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: The entertainment industry Baldwin brothers have been making the celebrity real estate news rounds lately. In June of 2009 the bible beating youngest Baldwin, Stephen, lost his long time home in Upper Grandview, NY to foreclosure and this week we learn that the eldest Baldwin brother, Alec, listed his long time spread at the Eldorado building on the Upper West Side of Manhattan for sale with an asking price of $7,500,000. The asking price goes up to $8,900,000 if a buyer wants to add the 1 bedroom and 1 bathroom
apartment (plus 1 staff room and bath) Mister Baldwin also owns on the first floor.

Records and reports indicate that he wry, in demand, Oscar nominated and Emmy winning actor (30 Rock, The Departed, Running With Scissors, Will & Grace, The Cooler, Pearl Harbor...) scooped up the 3 bedroom and 3.5 pooper property at the twin towered apartment house way back in 1991 before he married Oscar winning actress Kim Basinger with whom he's, sadly and childishly, perpetually doing battle with over the custody and care of their daughter.

Listing information shows Mister Baldwin's crib occupies a full floor in one of the towers and as such has four exposures and possesses a private elevator landing that opens to a proper foyer that acts as the traffic hub for the entire apartment. Located immediately off the foyer are an oddly shaped, paneled library, a walk in coat closet and a powder pooper for guests. Your Mama is thrilled, for obvious reasons, to see that the guest terlit has a window.

Facing Central Park and the swank buildings that line Fifth Avenue are the large living room which along with mesmerizing views features a fireplace and a bunch of mismatched furniture including, much to Your Mama's sorrow and horror, one of those round, skirted tables with a table cloth that hangs all the way to the damn floor. Dollars to do-nuts kids there's nuthin' under there but a cardboard box with a round piece of plywood sitting on top. Why do people do that?

Anyhoo, also facing the park are two of the three principal bedrooms including the newly refurbished corner master bedroom with double exposures for maximum ventilation, a marble pooper with a window (also, for obvious reasons, good for the ventilation), 2 small walk-in closets plus five more custom built closets that wrap around the outside wall. All those closet doors opening into the bedroom can't be good for the feng shui and as expensive as it might be, all that feminine, cornflower blue bed clothing needs to be shoved down the trash chute toot suite because, really, Mister Baldwin, you deserve better than this.

Through the formal dining room where Mister Baldwin has a Biedermeier-esque dining room set and a wacky lantern style chandelier is the eat in kitchen. While the kitchen looks oddly configured in the floor plan, listing information indicates it is none the less well equipped with a six-burner mac-daddy Viking range, a heavy duty (and very expensive) Traulsen brand double refrigerator as well as a Traulsen wine fridge. Tucked away behind the large pantry is a closet with a stacked washer and dryer (not the ideal location, but Svetlana would appreciate not having to hang around in the basement folding Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter's undergarments with the other house gurls) and a wee, seven foot wide staff room and wee bathroom with a wee window that is, of course, good for airing things out after doing the dirty bizness.

On the first floor of the building is a smaller apartment also owned by Mister Baldwin and offered for sale in combination with his much larger 22nd floor unit. It's unknown to Your Mama, who really doesn't know much of anything at all, how Mister Baldwin uses these rooms. Perhaps this is where his "office" is located? Perhaps this is where he stashed Miz Basinger post dee-vorce? Perhaps this is where he entertains ladee friends and others whom he does not want in his actual apartment? Who knows? Whatever the case, Mister Baldwin's second unit is a well laid out 1 bedroom and 1 pooper apartment with a nice sized foyer, a 27 and a half foot long living room, eat-in kitchen and a separate staff room and pooper. The drawbacks to this place are that it's at ground level and that it lacks adequate closet space. However, we think a nice dressing room could easily be added to the bedroom with little trouble or expense and a bit of reconfiguring in the kitchen/service entrance area would provide for a better floor and more storage.

The Emory Roth designed and geometrically ornamented Eldorado building, some of the children will recall, is the very same building where Prairie Home Companion curmudgeon Garrison Keillor picked up a pied a terre in June of 2006 for $3,600,000 and where diminutive musician Moby sold a quirky quadraplex penthouse apartment last summer for $6,700,000.

It's perhaps not such a surprise to celebrity real estate watchers that Mister Baldwin desires to dump his aerie at the Eldorado given that he's been spotted peeping at pricey apartments at the Apthorp as well twice touring a sprawling, $12,500,000 4 bedroom apartment at The Dakota where residents include a lot of fancy financial industry bigwigs as well as singer Roberta Flack and artist Yoko Ono. As an aside, here's something we somehow failed to notice last fall...It was widely reported in September of 2008 that hot mess Lindsay Lohan had the hair brained notion that she might be able to slip past the board at The Dakota and set up a lesbian love nest with her on again off again on again off again ladee friend Samantha Ronson. It was even reported in the British tabs that Miss Lohan and Miss Ronson were planning on a 12 foot circular bed with a leopard print headboard, a DJ area with a disco ball and bathrooms with "Hers" and "Hers." towels. Pleeze. Who makes this stuff up? Seriously, who?

But we digress. Wherever Mister Baldwin may land once he unloads his apartment(s) at the Eldorado, Your Mama sincerely hopes he'll use some of his considerable riches to hire a nice gay decorator to work out the interiors because it is Your Mama's humble and utterly meaningless opinion that he deserves better day-core than a living room that looks like a tired suite at the Waldorf. If you need a recommendation for someone Mister Baldwin, ring Your Mama and we'll hook you up with someone who can turn your new apartment out like nobodies bizness.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

More Brad and Angelina Real Estate Hoo-Ha

According to the, uh, always reliable Mirror in the U.K., American super stars Brad Pitt and his ladee-mate Angelina Jolie are gearing up to settle down in the French countryside. The global citizens and parents of a posse of multi-cultural children have reportedly completed the purchase of Chateau Miraval, the 1,000 acre estate in a pretty part of Provence known as the Var where they've been periodically hiding out and shacking up since the birth of twins Vivienne and Knox in July of 2008.

There have been many and myriad conflicting reports over the last 12 or 15 months about whether the Jolie-Pitts leased or purchased the sprawling 17th century estate near Correns. If the latest reports are to be believed, the good looking do-gooder movie stars forked over a staggering £35,000,000 for the sprawling spread and have applied for permits to do another £10,000,000 in renovations. According to our bejeweled abacus those amounts convert into a brain bending and bewildering $74,161,800 (US) at today's rates.

The planned renovations would, allegedly, include doing up all 35 bedrooms (some sources say there are only 10 bedrooms) to have a more modern vibe, adding a bunch of jacuzzis, steam rooms and a spa as well as expanding the wine cellar, adding a gym, improving the helicopter landing facilities, carving out a motorbike track and beefing up the security systems with a surveillance center, spy cameras, alarms and infra-red sensors.

The report in the Mirror includes several quotes by neighbors and locals including one from the mayor of Correns who confirmed that applications for renovations to Chateau Miraval have been submitted and that the community is planning to hold a "civic reception" to welcome and "honor" them. Well, isn't that nice?

In addition to multiple structures that form the residential accommodations of Chateau Miraval, the property includes a 3-mile long driveway, forested areas, multiple fountains and aqueducts, extensive olive groves with 13 varieties of olives, a commercial vineyard, a lake, a swimming pool, and a moat. That's right, a moat. Also on the property is a recording studio where musicians including Pink Floyd, The Cure, Sting, Sade and the Cranberries have all recorded.

Nearby property owners are reported to include Johnny Depp and Vanesa Paradis and U2s Bono and The Edge. Imagine that backyard barbecue?

photo: Studio Miraval

Your Mama Hears...

...from B.H. Hillsanddales that former singer/reality tee-vee star turned ack-turuss Ashlee Simpson and her Fall Out Boy rocker huzband Pete Wentz are fixin' to list their big Mediterranean manse in the Beverly Hills Post Office for sale with a price tag somewhere around $4,995,000.

The children who have not fried their minds on the dope may recall that Miss Simpson scooped up her one-time bachelorette pad in January of 2007 for $4,500,000. Listing information we have on file for the property (yes, chickens, we have files) shows the 5,896 square foot, four floor hillside house contains 4 bedrooms and 4 poopers including a master bedroom with his and her bathrooms and dressing closets. Other celebrity style amenities include a walled and Zen-ish courtyard, media room, gym, gourmet kitchen, several terraces for nekkid bun sunning and, sitting far, far, far below the main house, a swimming pool and fully detached two-story guest house overlooking a canyon.

After purchasing the property, according to B.H. Hillsanddales, Ash forked over a couple hundred grand for improvements including some designer done and award winning Asian themed landscaping by garden guru Jon Goldstein that features a stone Buddha or two, a fire pit, fountain and a few other things all too common to the gardens of famous folks.

B.H. Hillsanddales also whispered in Your Mama's ear that Mister and Missus Simpson-Wentz have been out house hunting for for something more family friendly and possibly even a little smaller in Encino, CA where Mrs. Wentz owned a huge home before she snatched up her current digs. Encino isn't Your Mama's cup of tea but Mrs. Wentz has owned a home in Encino before and it's where her parents Joe and Tina Simpson reside in the 5 bedroom and 7 terlit mansion on Hayvenhurst Drive at which Mister and Missus Wentz were united in marital bliss last year.

It's been widely rumored and reported that Mister and Missus Wentz's marriage is on unstable ground but Your Mama does not know nuthin' about that. What we do know is that the young, flame haired mother has lately been making the pages of all the tabs and gossip glossies for her drunken "misunderstandings" and (allegedly) picking public fights with Pete. Unfortunately, listing their dee-luxe digs in the Hills of Beverly isn't exactly going to squash those rumors of a messy marriage but keep in mind children that in the world of rich and famous people one plus one does not always equal two, so we'll just have to wait on pins and needles to see what transpires.

Prior to hooking up and making babies with Miss Simpson, boy kissing Mister Wentz owned a house on Palo Vista Drive in the Hollywood Hills which he sold in Sept. of 2008 for $1,600,000. (It had been listed at $1,799,000.)

As an aside having nothing to do with real estate, Your Mama would like to offer those poor Simpson sisters a little unsolicited career advice: Dump yer daddy as your manager. Yes, he did create both of your careers right out of thin air and kudos to him for that because it was truly a Herculean feat. But let's be honest ladees, what's he done for you lately? Not much, that's what. The ill-fated Melrose Place redux? Pleeze. Major Movie Star? Have mercy. Seriously, think about it. Sometimes shaking up the management team is a good way to breathe some fresh air into a stale and stagnant situation and, at the risk of sounding insensitively harsh, both of your current careers are nothing if not parched, threadbare and sitting right on the precarious precipice of oblivion. Sorry darlins, we just calls it like we sees it.

photo: Pacific Coast News