Ellen and Portia List Horsey Hidden Valley Compound

SELLER: Ellen Degeneres and Portia de Rossi
LOCATION: Hidden Valley, CA
PRICE: $16,500,000
SIZE: 26 acres with 8 cottages

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Listen, children, The Dr. Cooter came home from the hospital yesterday with a nasty flu and today our big ol' belly also feels churned up with a tetch of the flu too. On top of the icky sickness, our sassy but ever-so-helpful house gurl Svetlana left three days ago for a vacation in an unknown locale she would only describe as "The Old Country" and we have Momma Cooter coming in for the weekend, which means despite feeling pukey there's linens to be laundered, rugs to be vacuumed, and terlits to be scrubbed.

Given all that, we are not feeling particularly pithy and we are certainly in no mood for a lengthy treatise on today's subject matter so rather than blather on (and on) like we usually do we're going err on the side of brevity today in our discussion of the Thousand Oaks, CA horse ranch chat show honcho Ellen Degeneres and her actress wife Portia de Rossi have had on the market since at least June (2011) with an asking price of $16,500,000.

The Sapphic lovebirds acquired the 26-ish acre spread in the tony Hidden Valley enclave in June 2009. In all honesty, children, Your Mama could not for the life of us come up with an exact purchase price but we do know from previous reports and listing information we excavated out of the internets the fully equipped equestrian property was last listed with $10,000,000 price tag.


The property, tucked into oak forested foothills where it takes advantage of the cool ocean breezes the swoop up and over the Santa Monica Mountains from Malibu, includes a total of 8 residential cottages of varying sizes, three of which are shown above in listing photos. All of the cottages were all done up and did over by Missus Degeneres and her missus the the assistance–we've been told–of interior designer Jay Holman who made use of a strictly restrained, casually sophisticated and muted palette of white, grey, taupe and pale earth tones.

The cottages feature renovated bathrooms and kitchens stocked with high-end appliances, wood and polished concrete floors, vaulted and beamed ceilings, and easy access to the screened porches, decks and terraces that extend the living spaces outdoors. The day-core tends towards a kind of kick-up-your-feet comfort that includes a lot of rustic vintage wood furniture stripped of paint, un-dyed linens, and many clusters and collections of mirrors and portraits that look like they could have been snatched up at the Rose Bowl Flea market.
The extensive equestrian facilities include five horse turn outs–whatever those are–a hay barn, dressage and jumping arenas with an adjoining judges stand, and an upgraded horse barn with six double-size stalls, tack room, kitchen, industrial washer and dryer set up, and a lounge area with radiant heated floor.

In addition to all the horse-related structures and amenities the property features scads of entertainment and relaxation spaces that include a tree house, windmill, screened yoga pavilion and a couple of large barns that both have radiant heated poured-concrete floors, kitchen facilities, and exposed interior architecture with soaring ceilings.
Miz Degeneres and her team of decorators and landscapers have peppered the pastoral property with numbers lounging, dining and entertainment areas that range from a simple woven hammock in an oak grove to a antique farmhouse table that sits in the sun-dappled shade of a massive oak tree to a partially walled patio shaded by market umbrellas. The property does not appear to have a swimming pool–why the ladies didn't install once we don't know–but there is a recently resurfaced and fenced tennis court and basketball hoops for the sporty types.

This is not the first horse ranch Miz Degeneres has owned. In December 2005 she paid $2,800,000 for a picturesque 20-acre ranchette on Roundup Road in Santa Ynez, CA that she flipped in March 2007 for $3,050,000. In May 2005 she paid an undisclosed amount of moolah for a larger spread in Santa Ynez, a 119.8-acre ranch on Armour Ranch Road. Fickle as she is with her real estate she quickly flipped this one back on the market as well and sold it in December 2006 to a prominent couple from Seattle. Property records for the ranch are murky but it appears that it was sold for $9,500,000 but we don't recommend anyone quote us on that price like it's gospel.

Until recently Miz Degeneres and Miz De Rossi had their primary residence, a multi-acre compound in tucked privately into the mountains above Beverly Hills, on the (open) market with an asking price of $60,000,000. The listing for the property disappeared from the internet a few weeks ago amid rumors that indulged Formula One Racing heiress Tamara Ecclestone looked at but declined to purchase the property. Your Mama recently asked around a bit about the status of the property but it seems that everyone is very tight lipped about the matter.

listing photos: Sotheby's International Realty

UPDATE: Jennifer Lopez

Last week rumors and reports began to circulate that soon-to-be-divorced entertainment industry heavyweight Jennifer Lopez was about to buy a behemoth house in the Hamptons.

The real estate gossip gals at Newsday first reported that thrice married Miz Lopez Noa Judd Anthony had an accepted offer and was about to go to go into contract for an all but brand-new 15,000-plus square foot shingled "cottage" with views over and deeded access to Mecox Bay in the supah-swank Water Mill enclave.

Two days ago Newsday elaborated that the posh pad in Water Mill for which Miz Lopez "made an offer" sits just across a narrow lane from a planned (but not yet approved) sailing club that would like to operate out of a small 18-x-10-foot shack on the pond's shore. This may or may not influence her decision to move ahead or shut down the (alleged) purchase of the Mecox Bay manse.

Today word comes down the celebrity real estate gossip grapevine via Jennifer Gould Keil at the NY Post that the Mecox Bay property may not be quite as sold as the many reports on the matter have indicated. Miz Gould Keil revealed that the Mecox Bay house is "still open to other potential buyers for walk-throughs." However, it is Your Mama's experience that in that neck of the real estate woods, since many accepted offers fail to go into contract, it is quite customary for a house to remain on the open market until the contracts are signed by both the seller and the buyer.

Miz Gould Keil went on to reveal that in addition to the Mecox Bay pile she may or may not be close to signing contracts for Miz Lopez has also peeped at least one other high-priced property in the area, a more privately situated 3.5+ acre estate in the Georgica Estate area of East Hampton (shown above) listed with an asking price of $16,900,000.

Listing information shows the intricately articulated and roughly 11,600 square foot shingled sprawler includes 8 bedrooms and 9.5 bathrooms. It was designed by noted Hamptons architect Peter Cook whose name tabloid readers will recognize as Christie Brinkley's philandering former hubby.

The rambling mansion's main living spaces include a double height foyer, formal living room with fireplace, formal dining room, paneled library/family room with fireplace and built-in book cases, and a center island kitchen with sky-lit vaulted ceiling and breakfast room wrapped in windows and French doors.

A long hallway extends off the foyer and leads to two guest/family bedrooms each with private bathroom and a titanic master suite comprised of entry vestibule, octagonal study, large bedroom, vintage-style bathroom and large custom-fitted walk-in closet/dressing room. A staircase in the entry vestibule of the master suite leads up to a second octagonal room suitable for use as a fitness room, yoga studio, hair and make-up facility, or–for those so-inclined–a doobie-smoking retreat. The master bedroom opens to a private covered porch with long view over the thickly planted back yard.

Upstairs there are three guest/family bedrooms, one with private balcony and all with private bathrooms. The extensive service wing spreads out over two floors and includes and quarter-round butler's pantry/staff sitting room, bedroom-sized laundry room, back entrance from the rear motor court and garage, and a two bedroom/2 bathroom staff apartment accessible by a private staircase.

The house sits privately down a long gated driveway at the head of a circular drive that loops around to a rear motor court. Numerous decks, terraces, patios, screened and covered porches surround the house. Broad lawns dotted with massive and mature shade trees stretch out in every direction. Just off the semi-circular covered porch that extends off the rear of the house there's a vast stone terrace ringed by a picket fence that keeps kiddies from accidentally falling into the heated swimming pool. Shade seekers will appreciate the adjacent pool house vine-draped pergola.

Now listen chick-a-doodles, Your Mama has absolutely zero inside intelligence on Miz Lopez's (alleged) real estate activities in the Hamptons so we really haven't any idea what house she may or may not be interested in buying. We're just passing along the rumor and gossip and thought the children might enjoy a little late-afternoon Hamptons real estate hoity-toitiness.

listing photos: Corcoran

Jonah Hill Heads for The Valley

BUYER: Jonah Hill
LOCATION: Tarzana, CA
PRICE: $2,175,000
SIZE: 4,650 square feet, 5 bedrooms, 5.5 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Like so many other famous folks with deep pockets, actor/screenwriter/comedian du jour Jonah Hill (Superbad, Knocked Up, Get Him to the Greek, 21 Jump Street) appears to have come down with a raging case of The Celebrity Real Estate Fickle.

In August 2009 the then still rather rotund jokester sold a West Hollywood (CA) condo for $835,000, $215,000 less than the $1,050,000 he paid for the 2 bedroom and 2 bathroom crib just shy of two years earlier.

The following May (2010) Mister Hill dropped $1,865,000 on a Richard Dorman-designed ranch-style mid-century residence tucked into a quiet enclave off Mulholland Drive above Laurel Canyon. The house, originally built in 1959 by property developer Fillmore Crank and actress/hotelier Beverly Garland, sits right around the corner from the house where button-pushing comic superhero Sacha Baron Cohen and actress Isla Fisher lived until they acquired their much more a-list style compound down the road a piece.

Last week Your Mama heard from The Bizzy Boys at Celebrity Address Aerial who whispered in our ear that property records they peeped indicate newly slender Mister Hill purchased another home in the somewhat unlikely and entirely unexpected haute-suburban locale of Tarzana, CA. It took Your Mama a few days to sort through the matter but we finally received word from our always eerily well-informed celebrity real estate snitch Lucy Spillerguts who confirmed that a trust linked to Mister Hill and his accountant-to-the-stars father had indeed dropped $2,175,000 on a mini-estate tucked into the foothills of the Santa Monica Mountains in an affluent and leafy neighborhood in Tarzana.

Property records show the deal went down in mid-July (2011) and listing information shows the fenced and gated single story quasi-Cape Cod-style residence contains 5 bedrooms and 5.5 bathrooms in 4,650 square feet. The house was built in the 1950s but has been updated and upgraded in recent years and now features fine finishes such as distressed mahogany wood floors (that sometimes run at funny angles to the walls), travertine and marble floors and counter tops, intricate moldings, plantation shutters, and French doors galore.

The house, described in marketing materials "as if it were plucked right out of an elite neighborhood in Connecticut" features a formal living room with fireplace flanked by built-in book shelves, a formal dining room with wide bay window, and an over-sized office with vaulted ceiling. Listing photos depict the house as done up by the seller, an interior decorator recently involved in a legal imbroglio in Ireland. The traditional day-core is lovely if not exactly our decorative cup of tea. Those plaid slip covered chairs in the dining room may cause us agita but the rugs, children. Beeotch knows how to pick a damn rug.

Anyhoodles poodles, the expansive, open plan family room/kitchen has a painted coffered ceiling, fireplace, built in entertainment center, and a breakfast area with backyard view through one of the many sets of French doors throughout the house. The kitchen–more traditional than we would install in our own home but none-the-less a real stunner–has custom Shaker-style cabinets with glass-fronted uppers, Carrara marble counter tops and back splashes, commercial-style stainless steel appliances, and a snack/boozy-beverage-before-dinner bar. Ordinarily we scream and stomp our feet like a two year old about kitchen cabinetry that does not extend all the way to the ceiling. In this case, for some reason, it does not bug or betwixt our beady little brain. There are always, it seems, exceptions to our rules. A walk-through butler's pantry with sink and dishwasher connects the kitchen to the dining room and a de-voon mac-daddy walk-in pantry comes well-equipped with floor-to-ceiling shelves a commercial-grade, glass-fronted fridge that we can assure the children cost more than a used Honda.

Each of the sizable secondary bedrooms has access to an en suite bathroom and the super-sized master suite comprises a sitting room/study with bathroom, bedroom with fireplace, coved ceiling with accent lighting and plantation shuttered French doors that lead to a private terrace. There are dual walk-in closets with custom built ins and a large if decoratively banal bathroom with two sink vanity, hot tub-sized soaking tub and not just one but two showers, both with built-in benches and one with steam.

The property spans just .85 acres (37,026 square feet) according to listing information but manages to squeeze in various covered and pergola-shaded dining and entertainment terraces, a classic kidney-shaped swimming pool with spa, a citrus grove with "lounging pavilion," a Bocce ball court–which we love–large patches of grass and a lighted (and recently resurfaced) tennis court.

Other assorted amenities include expensive copper gutters, a concrete tile room made to look like slate, custom lighting indoors and out, and a built-in sound and security systems.

listing photos: Prudential California Realty