Friday Morning Mish Mash

It's been a little while since Your Mama has done a little mish mash. So here we go...

1.
Thanks to all the many emails, text messages and phone calls we've received in the last 24 hours, we can finally clear up some of the confusion we had regarding the many recent reports of Oscar winning hottie Halle Berry and her Canadian-born baby daddy buying a big spread in St. Hippolyte, a wee country town about one hour north of Montreal that one sassy French Canadian told us is "the middle of nowhere."
According to listing information we located online (which was also sent by a number of convivial Canucks) we've learned that the property in question (pictured above) offers "sixty-eight acres of privacy and seclusion" and includes a 2,500 square foot modern architectural hoose with 3 bedrooms and just 1 bathroom. Although the bathroom is dee-voon, we wonder if Miss Berry will have a few Canadian contractors up there tout de suite adding a private pooper to the master bedroom.

Listing information also indicates the gated estate was listed at $1,850,000 (Canadian, we presume), offers deeded access to nearby Lac à L'Achigan and comes with its own "five acre private spring fed lake." At the risk of being completely and utterly incorrect, we're guessing the Lac Molson that was referenced in other reports is this private 5 acre lake.

Thanks to our ever intrepid research superstar B.S. Beaverman who forwarded the snaps. Although we're not into a Canadian winter, we have just three words to describe this property: Gor. Jee. Uhs.

2.
Yesterday we received a phone call from our fine friend Fiona Trambeau, a woman of loose morals who swears it is her sworn duty to ferret out and feel up all the heterosexual men in San Francisco, who hooked us over to a juicy article in the NY Post about jet setting human rights advocate Bianca Jagger getting evicted from her rent stabilized apartment in New York City.

The Nicaraguan born British citizen who is known to keep an apartment in London also held a long term and rent stabilized lease on a posh Park Avenue pied a terre for which she paid $4,614 per month.

According to Miz Jagger's landlord, the ex-wife of Mick Jagger stopped paying rent a few years back, a scenario which tends to piss off landlords, particularly the ones who own rent stabilized units. The two parties fussed and fought until 2006 when the dispute wound up in front of a judge who ordered the rich bee-hawtcha to pony up the back rent. The former model and Studio 54 fixture pushed back claiming she was unable to live in the 18th floor apartment because an asbestos and fungus contamination rendered the apartment uninhabitable.

So back to the courthouse they went where Miz Jagger and her high priced attorney appealed the earlier decision that required her to cough up a big wad of cash for unpaid back rent. However, her appeal was shot down because Miz Jagger holds a B2 (tourist) visa which requires her to maintain a "principal, actual dwelling place" outside of the United States and, of course, New York City rent regulation laws require the lease holder maintain the stabilized unit as a "primary residence." And as we all know from filing our taxes, you can't legally have two primary residences.

There is no word on whether Miz Jagger will choose to lease a market rate apartment in New York.

3.
Hollywood's most famous Scientologist Tom Cruise seems to have brought some of his real estate crazy to New York City where his much younger wifey Katie Holmes is currently appearing in some Broadway play or other. The couple–who last summer were widely reported to be looking at a number of very high priced rentals including the $200,000 per month penthouse at the Trump Park Avenue–are now reported to be shacking up in one of the better buildings in the East Village where the people at Page Six in the NY Post say Mister Crooz has owned a 10th floor apartment since 1985.

Page Six also reported yesterday that one of Mister and Missus Cruz's chattier neighbors claims, "Tom and Katie now keep five units in the building." The nosy neighbor went on to say that one of the units has been turned into a playroom for Suri, another into a gym and two others are utilized for staff.

Listen children, given that one of the Crooz's mouthpieces denies the couple is snatching up apartments in the 12 story East Village building and given all the real estate rumors that have circulated about Mister Cruise–remember last year when we all thought he wanted to buy a big spread at The Dakota?–who knows what's true and what's not about his downtown living situation. What we really want to know is if they chow down on pierogi at Veselka.

Your Mama Hears...

...That there's trouble brewing in The Hills.

First there was all that freaking out in the quiet Hollywood neighborhood where The Hills' resident "fashion designer" Lauren Conrad purchased a $2,360,000 Spanish style house in early 2008. Some of Miss Conrad's neighbors were all kinds of pissed about the marauding paps busting up their bushes, fervid fans standing around gawking and tour buses trolling up and down the narrow residential street. And who could blame them? The din became so deafening that the usually very upright Los Angeles Times saw fit to write an entire article about the reality television brouhaha.

Now we hear from a gabby gal named Veronica Vociferous that many of her neighbors in L.A.'s Hollwood Dell neighborhood are all upset and atwitter over MTV's plans to film episodes of The Hills at the Bryn Mawr Drive house that The Hills' dark haired drama queen Audrina Patridge recently scooped up for a $1,290,000.

The Hollywood Dell Civic Association recently sent a letter of protest to neighborhood residents, a copy of which we received from Miz Vociferous. The letter asks residents to contact the Film LA Community Director and some Sargent at the LAPD to register their displeasure, concern and complaint about their fear of film crews clotting up the narrow and twisting roads that wind through the usually very quiet neighborhood, not to mention the ensuing meelee of picture snapping paparazzi and breathless fans who think standing outside a famous person's house is anything but outrageously stoopid.

Could it be that all those whining and bickering gurls on The Hills have finally had their fifteen minutes? Jeezis, Mary and Joseph we sure hope so.

Is Halle Berry Heading North?

Thanks to Candy Canuck, we were linked over to a recent and brief article in the Montreal Gazette which reports Oscar winning actress Halle Berry and her Canadian-born male model baby daddy Gabriel Aubry have recently purchased property in St. Hippolyte, Quebec. According to the wee article, Miss Berry's French Canadian hideaway home cost a million smackers (Canadian, we presume) and sits on 63 acres overlooking Molson Lake.

Naturally we took to the internets to see if we could sort out some of the details and, curiously, the only Molson Lake we could locate is in the province of Manitoba, which is nowhere near sleepy St. Hippolyte which sits in the northern reaches of the province of Quebec.

Now children, we freely confess to not knowing shit from shinola about rural Canadian geography, but can someone who does please help us out here? Are St. Hippolyte and Molson Lake actually anywhere near each other?

Whatever the Canadian case, as far as we know, when in Tinseltown Miss Berry, her new baby and her good looking baby daddy all bed down in the N. Doheny Drive compound she bought from former child actor turned racecar driver Frankie Muniz in July of 2005.