The Fred Savage Trifecta: BUY

In part two of our Fred Savage Trifecta we will discuss the Hancock Park Meditarranean house he and wifey Jennifer recently purchased.
BUYER: Fred Savage
LOCATION: S. McCadden Place, Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $3,050,030 (sale price)
SIZE: 3,944 square feet, 5 bedrooms, 3.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Walled & Gated. Very Private. Mediterranean-Spanish in Hancock Park. Tropical courtyard entry, 5 bedrooms (generous size) plus 3.5 baths. Sunken living room w/ fireplace. Large dining room. New kitchen w/granite & viking range. New systems. Pool w/ spa. Pool house has a full shower/bathroom & kitchen. Outdoor fireplace plus BBQ. This home is ready to move in immediately.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Given that our Mister Savage and his betrothed Jennifer had their Hollywood Hills house on the market, clearly they needed to go house hunting to locate a new home for their growing family. So down off the hill they came and into the relatively staid area of Hancock Park with its long, straight, tree-lined streets and row after row of large and well maintained Mediterranean style houses with manicured lawns.

There are parts of Hancock Park, near Larchmont Village, where the modest Spanish style bungalow prevails. There are also sections where properties have big ass mansions with electronic gates, swimming pools, tennis courts, and presumably, a myriad of household staff to take care of it all. However, the Savage family has moved to an area that is not quite starter home Larchmont Village, and not quite the swanky Hancock Park that lies just below the fancy Wilshire Country Club where you have to be a member just to look at their damn website.

The house is, however, located on the same block as the property that was used for exterior shots of Blanche and Baby Jane Hudson's house in the macabre and terrifying movie What Ever Happened to Baby Jane. Hunnies, it took Your Mama years to trust our Sister Woman after seeing that movie.

Anyhoo, the house was first put on the market at $2,999,000 and, according to listing information, was later reduced to $2,799,000. What's inneresting about those numbers is that property records show that in April 2007 Mister Savage paid a quarter of a million dollars OVER the last asking price when he plunked down $3,050,030 for the house, indicating there might have been some sort of bidding war. For THIS house? Your gotta be kidding, right?

Now children, the LA real estate market is still only for the wicked and the rich, but a few years ago it was like a white hot rocket where prices climbed astronomically over night and particularly aggressive home buyers were more than happy to beat down other folks to keep them out of an open house. But things have cooled somewhat, and it's becoming a little more unusual to see someone pay so much more than the asking price. All you LA-based real estate agents will correct us if we're wrong about that, we're sure.

The front of the Mediterranean manse is protected by a lushly planted courtyard filled with banana trees and palms which almost completely obscures the house from the street. Keep that in mind freakos. There's nothing to see by driving up and down McCadden Place looking for Mister Savage except a bunch of tropical plants. So Your Mama suggests all your Wonder Years fanatics keep your big fat booties planted in your corduroy recliners.

Inside, the house looks pretty ordinary. We hate to say this, because we're dying to like one of Mister Savage's properties. But unfortunately, it ain't this one. It would appear the house has some good "bones," and the tile work on the front stairs offers a certain kind of charming. And really, there's nothing terribly wrong about the house. But it just does not feel special to Your Mama, and special is what we're looking for.

While they are not the doing of the Savage clan, we are shaken and disturbed by the tapestry covered dining room chairs. Your Mama is heavin' and grievin' over those visual abominations which are an aesthetic mistake of the highest order. Your Mama demands punishment and retribution for making our eyes lay up on them.

We appreciate the outdoor fireplace and the detached pool/guest house, but we'd really need to get rid of that pool table with the Naugahyde cover. Naugahyde does have its place in the lexicon of style, but it most certainly does not belong on a pool table in this house.

So that we can end this on a positive note, we'll say that we do think the backyard looks like a nice quiet place to sun buns and sip Sazeracs by the dark bottomed swimming pool. One other positive note: we like the Viking dishwasher, but we do so wish the trash compactor made a matching set. Oh, there we go again getting bitter and angry over the banality of this house. Sorry dears. Better luck on Mister Savage's flip property up in the Hollywood Hills which we will be discussing next.