Neverland News

Lawhd have mercy on Michael Jackson and his beleaguered finances. The once talented and accomplished black man's life seems to have started the long slow trip down the proverbial terlit since he transformed his visage into that of a middle aged white woman with a peculiar and unseemly penchant for hanging out with 9 year old boys.

Fox News reported the other day that the one time King of Pop turned tabloid freak show is in some deep financial doo-doo. Not only did he not cough up a court ordered $3,800,000 settlement to his former manager Dieter Wiesner that was payable on the 15th of November, he's having trouble with the refinancing and debt structuring that crazy talking Raymone Bain keeps screeching on about. And the bail bondsman is chasing the poor pale thing down too.

But the White Lady's drama does not stop there. Oh no children, he's got real estate woes to boot. As a result of the lack of financial folks willing to step up and bail out the single father of three very fair skinned children, he remains in default on the $23,000,000 loan secured by Neverland Ranch, his former home, private playground, and the scene of much the alleged child molesting for which he's been accused and acquitted. Fox News gossip Roger Friedman blabs that he was told that Jackson doesn't much care about his once beloved ranch and will likely allow the place fall into foreclosure sometime in January. Oh dear.

There are, however, reports floating about that say there are indeed interested parties who would be willing to purchase Neverland Ranch. According to Wigan Today, a UK based clothing magnate is actually negotiating to purchase the 2,700 acre spread. And, are the kids ready for this nonsense, the articles claims the Brit faces stiff competition from none other than Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie who are rumored to think their multi-cultural brood might enjoy the zoo and carnival. What!?

Your Mama seriously doubts that Brangelina would want to buy Neverland Ranch, unless they're planning on relocating a few Cambodian villages or all the residents of the storm torn Ninth Ward of New Orleans to the Santa Ynez Valley. Which would be a spectacular act of charity and publicity. But does anyone really think these two want to live up in that Tudor mansion that's tainted with the scandals and Jesus juice of Michael Jackson? Come on!

The glittery gloved one, his three shockingly pale children, and presumably that high-larious Raymone Bain lady are reported to be in Las Vegas. However, before heading to the desert, the NY Post reported that the Jackson clan, who have not had a permanent home since sometime in 2005, squatted at supermarket mogul Ron Burkle's beautiful and behemoth Beverly Hills estate Green Acres. Prior to that, the Jackson family spent three months camped out with sympathetic family friends in Franklin Lakes, NJ, and previous to that he was living in a leased and modest house in suburban Maryland just outside of Washington, D.C.

Why the broken down singer doesn't just move back to Neverland Ranch or to the house he owns on Hayvenhurt Avenue in Encino is beyond our little mind to figure out. Yes, he'd have to deal with his parents who reportedly live in the Hayvenhurst house, but isn't that better and less embarrassing than asking Ron Burkle for lunch money or sleeping on a hideaway sofa in some finished basement in New Jersey?

It's all just so sad. Even if you don't like him, and Your Mama don't, it's still sad. He's got kids. What's going to become of those kids? Lawhd have mercy on their souls.

P.S. Your Mama would like to thanks our dear gurl Belinda Sue Beaverman, henceforth to be known at B.S. Beaverman, for all her research and links.

Photo: Pacific Coast News