David Duchovny and Tea Leoni Moving From Malibu

SELLER: David Duchovny and Tea Leoni
LOCATION: Carbon Mesa Road, Malibu, CA
PRICE: $12,000,000
SIZE: 6,578 square feet, 5 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Unobstructed canyon and ocean views, complete privacy and "an antique country feeling" characterize this spectacular Malibu Estate on approx. 5.5 landscaped acres. Close to town, this magnificent property includes: an amazing 5-bedroom "Old World" main home, a fabulous outdoor living area, 2-room guest house over a 3-car garage, 2 swimming pool (one is regulation lap pool), separate gym & magnificent landscaped grounds.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Ack-tress Téa Leoni (The Naked Truth, Fun With Dick and Jane, and the upcoming Manure with bee-zar Billy Bob Thornton) has made no secret that she has zero desire to raise her two children in LaLa Land, and ever since the fall of 2007 when wicked wildfires swept through the hills above their Malee-boo compound, she has reportedly been desperate to convince her dee-voonly intelligent actor huzband David Duchovny (The X-Files, Californication) that it's high time to high tail it out of Los Angeles and get back to their native New York. In fact, Miz Leoni has given several interviews expressing her disdain for raising her children in Hollywood and was once quoted saying, "...my children are starting to get that sort of sunburned sleepy look, so I think it's time to get them back to New York," where she hopes they'll follow in her and Mister Duchovny's foot steps and attend fancy and expensive private schools like Brearly and Collegiate.

Your Mama happens to like that sleepy sunburned look, but then again Your Mama's Mama was a beach bunny and raised us up on the sunny sands of Calee-fornia so perhaps we're biased towards that particular look. Anyhoo, we've been hearing for months that the well educated Mister Duchovny and Miz Leoni were getting ready to list their 5.57 acre compound on Malee-boo's Carbon Mesa Road, and sho' enuf, they did. Thanks to Malibu Monica, Your Mama has learned that the well educated couple have put a $12,000,000 asking price on their gated estate that sits in a fire-prone part of Malee-boo that overlooks the Pacific Ocean.

Property records for this one are a bit vague and far too reticular for our simple mind to figure out this morning, but it appears the smarty pants pair purchased the place back in the late 1990s...or it could have been the early 1990s. If we're being honest children, and we always are, the truth is we really don't know. Perhaps Mister Big Time or the lovely and talented Miz Brenoff at the LA Times can sort that one out for us?

Listing information indicates the long and narrow quasi French-style farmhouse measures 6,578 square feet and was built in 1996. In addition to the 5 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms and all the expected rooms (living, dining, eat in kitchen, family room), listing information reveals "Old World" style residence also features a library/study, an office, an art studio, a two room guest house located above the detached three car garage, and a private gym filled with Pilates equipment so these two hot bodies can stay looking that way.

Six fireplaces take the edge off chilly evenings and damp Malee-boo mornings and the fully landscaped grounds include flat lawn areas, meandering pathways through the canyon below the house, several outbuildings, a small parking lot for guests and staff, and two swimming pools. Yes, children, two swimming pools. While both are lovely and offer magnificent views down the canyon to the Pacific Ocean, it seems an unnecessary extravagance to have two swimming pools that sit just a few feet from each other. Obviously someone here likes to swim laps, but was there really not a way to incorporate a lap pool into the existing free-form one? Just a thought.

The house itself, with its reclaimed wood beams and floors, stone walls and general patina of age isn't Your Mama's cup of residential tea. Neither is the day-core. However, the interior spaces offer a rustic romanticism tweaked with a healthy dose of intellectualism that seems to be a direct (and successful) reflection of the owners, their interests and their family, which is really what good decorating is all about, right? Your Mama finds there's an honesty about the day-core that leaves us little to beef or bitch about.

Yes children, the portentous pot rack is a high crime of design, the painting hanging on the stairs is way too big for that spot (we suspect there's something deeply sentimental about it), we're quite naturally concerned about the exorbitant cost of heating two swimming pools, and we'd certainly never choose to put a pair of cah-kee colored wing back chairs and grandma's striped sofa in our family room, however it works perfectly for this house and this family. Your Mama has no idea if Miz Leoni did up the day-core herself or if this is the handiwork of a nice gay decorator, but either way this is a lovely and layered home that quietly says, "We live here," rather than screams, "Are you impressed with my giant foyer?"

Your Mama's early morning research indicates that many (if not all) of the properties located up on curvy swervy Carbon Mesa Road include beach rights and membership at the coveted La Costa Beach and Tennis Club, which is an excellent feature considering many of the "better" beaches in Malee-boo can be a little difficult to access.

Carbon Mesa Road has long been a favorite Malee-boo street among rich and famous folks. Sean Penn has long owned the property next door to the Duchovny/Leoni digs but has yet to build a new house on the lot after the 1993 wildfires burned the existing one to the ground. Four time Oscar nominated actor Ed Harris (always a bridesmaid, never a bride) and his Oscar nominated wifey Amy Madigan live down the hill a bit, and a few months ago Your Mama heard that country music legend Tanya Tucker leased a house on the street. We can not confirm that children, so don't anyone go reporting that like it's gospel. More recently, country crooner Kenny Chesney forked over $7,400,000 for a comely casa on Carbon Mesa Road, changed his mind and quickly flipped it back on the market for $7,950,000.

All rumors and reports indicate that Mister Duchovny and Miz Leoni will be heading back to New York City. A quick search through property records do not reveal a recent purchase in Manhattan, but that does not mean it hasn't happened or one isn't in the works. In fact, Miz Leoni told a reporter from New York Magazine back in December of 2007 that she'd already made an offer for an apartment even though Mister Duchovny didn't yet know about it. Your Mama expects we may soon hear something on this from one of the extremely well informed New York based celebrity real estate gossips.