Thursday, July 17, 2008

Kelsey Grammer Flips Out in the Holmby Hills

SELLER: Kelsey and Camille Grammer
LOCATION: Baroda Drive, Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $19,900,000
SIZE: 7 bedrooms, 9 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Stunning Country English estate located in the heart of Holmby Hills. Situated on almost one flat acre this newly remodeled home features 7 beds and 9 baths. Features a dramatic living room, media room, dining room, a gourmet kitchen that opens to the family room, a gym and much more. Outdoors you find a sparkling pool, large motor court, and a sprawling grassy yard with secluded walls. This is a spacious family home that is ultimately the picture of perfection and sheer elegance.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Like Your Mama has said 40,000 times or more...one of the many ways the rich get even richer is by flipping dee-luxe domiciles at outrageous and unimaginable profits and that's what Emmy winning boob-toob veteran Kelsey Grammer (Cheers, Frazier) and his slim hipped and big boobed wifey Camille are doing with a freshly rehabbed house they recently flipped back onto the market with an asking price of $19,900,000.

It was only in September of 2007, after renovating and selling a big house on Bel Air Road to Salma Hayek and that filthy rich French guy she's having babies with, that prop records and reports reveal that Kelse and Cammy spent $13,700,000 to buy this 10,567 square foot house on Baroda Drive that sits on nearly an acre of desirable dirt in the hotsy-totsy Holmby Hills from baking soda heir Michael Hammer.

A few clicks and clacks on our trusty but well worn bejeweled abacus and we see that Kelse and Cammy are preparing to pocket a whopping $6,200,000 on their high-priced flip after owning the place less than one year. Yes children, Your Mama is quite certain the ex-convict and the ex-nood model forked over plenty of pretty pennies to do up the day-core with all manner of wacky wallpaper, expensive tile treatments and champagne colored everything, but six million and some smackers? In less than a year? Pleeze.

Listen hunnies, don't misunderstand Your Mama here because even though we are bothered, betwixt and outraged by the audacity of the mammoth mark-up, we'd still bet our long bodied bitches Linda and Beverly that some dumb ass dude with buckets of money and a plastic enhanced wife who yearns to procreate with her dumb ass rich dude will come along in a giant Mercedes and think nothing of filling Kelse and Cammy's pockets with wads of cash and screams of real estate delight and satisfaction. Such is the state of the stratospheric end of the property market because, apparently, if you can spend in excess of fifteen million dollars on a new and improved nest you simply don't care that the sellers are making millions flipping the property over in less than one year.

Anyhoo, listing information indicates that in addition to the seven bedrooms and nine terlit rooms, the sprawling "English Country" style residence includes an impressive 7 fireplaces, one of which is in the carpeted gym. Now children, Your Mama likes to warm our tootsies by a blazing fire as much as the next person, but does anyone really need or want to set a romantic mood while sweating to the oldies with Richard Simmons in their home gym? Not anyone Your Mama knows.

Other features in Kelse and Cammy's dee-luxe flip include intricate parquet floors, heavy beamed ceilings, more Palladian style French doors than Your Mama cares to count, gigantic dual bathrooms and dressing rooms in the master, a gor-may kitchen that looks hideously expensive but strangely unfinished (shouldn't there be something on either side of the range hood?), and a media room with a built-in bookshelves and a built in bar which will surely please all the wealthy booze hounds who come over for movie night. Behind the high hedges and the two imposing drive gates (in and out, natch), the grounds include a tight circular drive, a large motor court with covered parking for at least 4 cars, a vine wrapped covered terrace overlooking the serene swimming pool and a large lawn area where the pooches can do their dirty bizness without mucking up the stone patios.

It makes Your Mama's head spin like that poor devil possessed gurl in The Exorcist just to think of organizing a definitive catalog of all the high priced properties Mister Grammer has bought and sold over the years, so we'll just tell you what we recall off the top of our gin soaked head:

1. As far as we know, the Grammer clan's West Coast home base is in Malee-boo where they own a 6,645 square foot house on a 4.77 acre spread in the Serra Retreat which records show he purchased in 1998 for $4,500,000

2. In June of 2007, Kelse and Cammy flipped a big and beautiful house on Bel Air Road to Salma Hayek and that French guy.

3. In 2004, Mister and Missus Grammer spent $17,500,000 to buy a Beverly Park behemoth that he sold in early 2006 for $22,000,000, a substantial profit considering the house was newly built when they bought it.

4. The property rich pair have been trying to off load their house in hoity toity Bridgehampton, NY for quite some time. The Morgan Hill Way manse was listed at $16,100,000, but as far as we know it has yet to find a buyer.

5. The couple has long owned property in Hawaii and although we've read that Mister Grammer recently re-cooperated from a mild heart attack at their Hawaiian hideaway, we're not really sure where it is...and frankly, we don't really care.

5. There are several if not many other properties owned by Mister Grammer including an 8,230 square foot house on Tall Timber Road in Avon, CO and a 118+ acre parcel somewhere in Delaware. Yes children, Delaware.

Phew!

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