Oksana Grigorieva is a Valley Girl

OCCUPANT: Oksana Grigorieva
OWNER: Mel Gibson
LOCATION: Sherman Oaks, CA
PURCHASE PRICE: $2,405,000
SIZE: 3,468 square feet, 4 bedrooms, 3.5 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Back in January of 2009, when they were still happily carrying on a clandestine affair and long before their bitter bust up that has resulted in lurid accusations, restraining orders, allegations of extortion, and leaked audio tapes of revolting rants, Mel Gibson bought his ladee-friend Oksana Grigorieva a house in suburban Sherman Oaks, CA. Well, actually, Mister Gibson purchased the Sherman Oaks crib in which Miss Grigorieva currently lives but, property records indicate, she does not own.

In case any of the children live under one of them Luddite rocks where there aren't tee-vees or tabloids, the raven haired and large lipped Miss Grigorieva is the Russian born baby momma to two-time Oscar winning actor/producer/director Mel Gibson's 8th child. Miss Grigorieva is a pianist/singer/composer of some sort who in the late 1990s married and made a baby with British actor Timothy Dalton, best known for portraying James Bond in two of that franchise's many films.

Property records show that the newly completed residence Mister Gibson purchased for Miss Grigorieva's use, located on a cul-de-sac in the hills above Sherman Oaks, was picked up for $2,405,000 in January of 2009. This was, mind y'all, before Miss Grigorieva turned up preggers and before either of the two of them publicly copped to or confirmed their adulterous liaison.

Listing information for the property indicates that the single story Frank Lloyd Wright Prairie House meets Arts and Crafts meets Mission style residence measures 3,468 square feet and includes 4 bedrooms and 3.5 poopers. A small gate set into the somewhat forbidding and essentially windowless stone, stucco and wood facade–those clerestory windows don't count–opens into an itty-bitty courtyards that leads to the a front door, an elaborate stained glass confection with a geometric pattern that will repeat itself in various forms throughout the house.

The formal living room has hardwood floors that may or may not be mahogany, a simply designed but forceful stone fireplace that stretches up to the high beamed wood ceiling, a wall of tall mahogany trimmed French doors that open into the home's courtyard, and a trio of stained glass windows with an intricate geometric pattern. Other rooms in Miss Grigorieva's borrowed home, according to listing information, include a formal dining room and a custom, mahogany paneled library with built in corner shelving units and more geometric patterned stained glass.

The primary living area is an open plan great room sort of thing that consists of a large family room with clerestory windows and French doors that open to the home's courtyard, a casual eating area, and a large, cook's kitchen with clerestory windows, custom mahogany cabinetry inset with stained glass panels, honed black granite counter tops, a large work island with vegetable sink, and a suite of Viking brand appliances that include a mac-daddy 8-burner range and commercial style refrigerator/freezer with a glass panel door.

Miss Grigorieva's master bedroom, which Your Mama assume she once shared with her fuming and furious baby daddy Mister Gibson, has a voluminous ceiling criss-crossed by heavy mahogany beams, a long wall of mahogany trimmed French doors topped with transom windows, and a fetching fireplace with stunning period tile surround that is flanked by built in bookshelves. Miss Grigorieva's private pooper has marble tiled walls, a glass enclosed shower, large soaking tub, and a long vanity behind which is yet another geometrically patterned stained glass window.

The house wraps around and opens to a stone courtyard at the back of the house that has a gurgling, disturbingly phallic shaped fountain and built in mahogany benches. A narrow lawn stretches along the back of the house and off to one side of the courtyard, thick and chunky beams act as a sun thwarting trellis over a small patio with an outdoor fireplace and views of the San Fernando Valley and the setting sun.

The former lovers are currently locked in a pitched and savage battle that is only going to get uglier and messier once they start going to court to hash out custody agreements and financial remunerations. Miss Grigorieva signed a cohabitation agreement–essentially a pre-nup for unmarried couples who live together–that allegedly keeps the Russian mistress and baby momma from going after any of Mister Gibson's vast fortune that is often estimated at around a billion dollars. At least Mister Gibson's fortune is worth around a billion dollars until his soon to be ex-wife Robyn takes his cheating booty to the dee-vorce court cleaners and gets half of everything. Anyhoo, it's not clear whether the cohabitation agreement covers the house in Sherman Oaks and besides, Miss Grigorieva is now claiming that she only signed a draft of the agreement under duress which would, apparently, make it invalid. Blah, blah, blah...

Your Mama does not expect Miss Grigorieva to roll over and play dead while Mister Gibson tries to bring her down into the pyre of his own tattered reputation and quickly evaporating career. This is, for all her home wrecking faults, one tough bitch who really hasn't got a career to lose. If she can have her appendix removed without the aid of anesthesia, Your Mama thinks she can probably hold her own against little ol' Mister Gibson and his ridiculous tirades.

Oh lo-ward have mercy bunnies, what a tangled web Mister Gibson weaves. Your Mama wonders if he's spending a lot of time up at his private chapel in Agoura Hills begging for the get his in shambles career back. After all he's got a soon to be ex-wife, a baby momma and 8 kids to support not to mention whomever else suckles on the Gibson financial teat.

Note: The children will recognize that the photos do not show the home as it is currently furnished but rather as it appeared when it was purchased in January of 2009. The photos were provided by an anonymous source.