New Krib for Kourtney Kardashian

BUYER: Kourtney Kardashian (and Scott Disick)
LOCATION: Calabasas, CA
PRICE: $1,700,000
SIZE: 5,334 square feet, 4 bedrooms, 4.5 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Buckle in buckaroos and pour yourselves a tall and stiff gin & tonic because–trust now–you are going to need it. We strongly recommend getting blottoed or at least a little buzzed before moving on here because much to Your Mama's own dismay and disappointment we are about to discuss the recent real estate doings of one of those krazy and ubiquitous Kardashian people. This time it's the eldest Kardashian, Kourtney, and her douche bag baby daddy Scott Disick who, we hear through the celebrity real estate gossip grapevine, recently paid $1,700,000 for a new krib in an upscale development in Calabasas, CA.

Several days ago The Bizzy Boys at Celebrity Address Aerial queried Your Mama about an upgraded and pricey but perfectly ordinary home in The Oaks, an upper middle class gated community in the far northwestern suburbs of Los Angeles. The Bizzy Boys were pretty sure but not 100% sure that the property in question was purchased by Miss Kourtney K. (and her ill-behaving baby daddy Scott Disick).

After taking a day or two to stomach the notion of digging up real estate dish on one of the Kardashians, Your Mama made a few requests for confirmation from a couple of our contacts who tend to know about quasi-celebrity real estate matters. It wasn't long before we heard back from a celebrity gossip industry stalwart we know who told us that his people told him that Kourtney K. and her coat tail-riding baby daddy Scott Disick have indeed moved into the krib in question as evidenced–if you will–by their high-cost whips being espied and photographed while parked in the driveway. Also, someone pointed Your Mama towards a video on the YouTube that shows Mister Kourtney Kardashian standing on the rear balcony of the house–are you read for this?–encouraging folks to visit his official personal website in order to get a real idea of who he is and what his life is like. Make of that, butter beans, what you will.

The pre-Kourtney K. ownership of the property, according records we accessed, show the property has had a somewhat tumultuous past. It was sold in late June of 2007 for $3,175,000 to a non-celebrity. The following February, the fickle non-celebrity buyer(s) flipped the property back on the market with an asking price of $3,499,000. A few months later, the first of three nasty Notices of Default were recorded on the property. The asking price eventually dipped to $3,299,000 and listing information obtained with an assist from our friend and informant Babbling Babette shows the property was leased in early November 2008 for $13,500 per month.

Although the third and final Notice of Default on the property was recorded in August of 2010, the seller somehow managed to keep the property from falling into the ugly and complicated abyss of foreclosure until along came Miss Kourtney K. (and her wall-punching baby daddy Scott Disick) who, according to property records and as already mentioned above, acquired the residence–through a trust–in November of 2010 for $1,700,000. A few quick flicks of the industrious beads on Your Mama's bejeweled abacus shows that's less than half what the seller hoped to get when the property was first foisted on the market nearly three years earlier.

Listing information shows the house–previously used as one of the model homes for The Oaks development–measures 5,334 square feet and includes 4 bedrooms and 4.5 bathrooms. For what it's worth and for anyone who might be persnickety about these particular details, some records show the house measures 5,199 square feet and at least one listing Your Mama reviewed indicated the house actually has 5 full bathrooms. We don't know nor do we care enough to try to find out which figures are accurate.

Anyhoodles doodles, a courtyard entry features a pond and provides access to a detached room that could be utilized as an office, library, guest or staff room, sex dungeon, fitness room and/or media lounge. Inside the house, dark chocolate stained hardwood floor run through a double height entry with its surprisingly pretty staircase and in to the formal living and dining rooms. A not particularly large but well-equipped kitchen, outfitted with high-grade stainless steel appliances and fussy, cream-colored cabinetry has a snack bar, breakfast area and is open to the family room that provides access to the backyard.

The second-floor master suite includes a sitting area, fireplace, walk-in closet, large bathroom with separate soaking tub and shower and private balcony that overlooks the backyard and offers a view of the surrounding roof tops and rolling hills. Other features noted in listing information for the property from 2008 shows the house has an attached two-car garage, wine cellar, second-floor den/game room, crown molding, designer window treatments, central heat, air and vacuum systems, and a luxurious home automation system.

The slim but fully landscaped backyard includes a concrete patio that envelops a free-form swimming pool and raised spa with stone coping and boulder accents, a built-in fire pit and a small grassy area just large enough for a pooch or two to tinkle and squat.

As it turns out, is not Miss Kourtney K.'s first time at the real estate rodeo out in the suburban wilds of Calabasas. In July 2006 the reality tee-vee star coughed up $829,000 for a 2 bedroom and 3 pooper pad in a small gated enclave that wraps around an electrical substation. Miss Kourtney K. took a not insubstantial $130,000-plus wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am to her designer pocketbook in July 2010 when prop records show she sold the two-story 2,235 square foot abode for $700,000.

Momma Kris Kardashian and her Olympic gold medal winner husband Bruce Jenner live in an 8,860 square foot mansion in the guard-gated and star-studded Hidden Hills community where their neighbors include Jennifer Lopez, Britney Spears, Melissa Etheridge, Nicolette Sheridan and Denise Richards, one of publicly dissembling actor Charlie's Sheen's three ex-wives and baby-mommas. Gluttially expansive and über-entrepreneurial Tinseltown gadabout Kim Kardashian paid $3,400,000 in early 2010 for a 4,500 square foot faux-Tuscan/mock-Med mansion in the Beverly Hills Post Office and younger sis Khloe and her professional dribbler Lamar Odom live in a hulking 7 bedroom and 9 pooper mansion in hot as Hades Tarzana, CA that property records indicate they bought in December of 2009 for $3,950,000.

We're not entirely sure what Mister Disick does for a living besides fight with his baby momma and look like the definition of a tool in front of a crew of reality television cameras but in a recent interview with Mister Disick in Men's Fitness he reveals that he's currently at work on a line of tanning products and supplements for men. Puh-damn-leeze. Let's just call this donkey an ass, okay? We may not know a goblet from a magnifying glass but it is Your Mama's entirely meaningless opinion that if the Kardashian name is not slapped on or, at least, part of the marketing for any product dapper but flashy Mister Disick develops the endeavor is unlikely to succeed. He's a nightclub promoter (or celebrity wrangler or some such thing) and not a goddamn skin care guru. Gawd, it just makes Your Mama want to puke.

Word on the reality tee-vee street is that Miss Kourtney K. and her bespoke-suited baby daddy Mister Disick hope to sell a reality television program of their very own and if they do succeed in that task we expect their new krib will be prominently featured. They would be far from the first high-drama quasi-celebrity couple to sell a successful show about how they raise babies and manage "fame." Just think about Hugh Hefner's ex-gal pal Kendra Whatsername. As far as Your Mama is concerned, that athletic-looking beehawtcha is about as interesting as a box of hair and yet she's all over the damn boob-toob. Not only does she have an eponymous reality show in its 3rd or 4th season but she's also doing the shuck and jive on the current season of the psychologically oppressive and utterly mortifying mega-hit Dancing With The Stars.

What, children, do these Kardashian people actually do that is so damn appealing to others that it allows them to collectively earn upwards of $65,000,0000 in 2010 with an undeniably successful and endlessly expanding empire of clothing stores, fragrances, pin-up calenders, product endorsements, sex tapes and reality television programs, all of which are built–of course–on the back of Kim K.'s behemoth backside? Women want that ass and men–well–want that ass too and, apparently, as a result of the sexed-up desirability of Miss Kim's phat fanny, millions will spend their last minimum wage dollars to buy whatever stupid thing the Kardashians are selling. For chrissakes, chickens, there were people who actually paid real money for The Kardashian Kard, a (much-maligned and now-defunct) pre-paid credit card with shockingly high and "predatory" fees. They had their own fucking credit card, people.

Welcome, giblets, to celebrity in the 21st-century. Your Mama warned y'all that you'd want a tall and stiff gin & tonic to get through this one so it's not our fault iffin any of y'all didn't heed that advice and are now suffering the consequences of reality.

listing photos: Sotheby's International Realty

A Houston Talent

 

Last March, Traditional Home ran an story on “20 Young Designers We’ve Got Our Eye On.”   Two were from Texas, one from Houston.

 

The Traditional Home Story on Julie Dodson

The young Houston designer given the Traditional Home honors was Julie Dodson.   Dodson, a graduate of Ole Miss, worked for several well known design firms until 2003, when she and her mother, noted Houston designer Trisha Dodson, came together to form “Dodson and Daughter Interiors.”   Their interiors are noted for being classic and timeless, and typically very elegant.  A few weeks ago, I ran into Julie at the George Cameron Nash showroom while she was gathering fabrics together for her latest project.  At gunpoint, Julie most kindly offered to share her portfolio with Cote de Texas readers.   Ok, Ok, I’m kidding, but I really was very pushy!  I have long admired Julie’s work which I had seen at the Pink Ribbon Showcase Houses.  So, I was thrilled when she agreed to this story!   I know I’ve been accused of only showing Houston interiors with white slipcovers and seagrass, but trust me, there is a lot more to Houston design than just those two design elements.  As you will see, Julie’s interiors are filled with beautiful rugs, modern art work, contemporary and antique furniture, and linen, silk and velvet fabrics.   Many of her rooms are filled with pieces that she designed and had custom made.    Her designs run the gamut from casual to dressy, from traditional to contemporary.   Looking at her portfolio, I can easily understand why Traditional Home chose Julie - her designs show a remarkably mature talent for someone in her early 30s. 

I hope you enjoy these beautiful pictures, most of which were taken by photographer Julie Soefer.  

 

The bedroom that Traditional Home used in their article is actually a guest room.  My eye went straight to the curtains and the tufted settee.  What craftsmanship!  I love the small rolled arms and back.   Such a cute bedroom!

 

This next project is a home in West University.  Julie used the client’s rug as the starting point to bring in the colors – a soft turquoise and the deep orange.  Notice how she used two different chairs at the table.   Also, notice the trim she added to bring in a design element to the upholstered chairs.  Love the mirror! 

 

In this view, you can see the front of the French host chairs, which was kept plain in contrast to their backs. 

 

Across from the dining room, the living room continues with the same orange accents, this time mixed with brown.  Again, the art work set the room’s color scheme.

 

The curtains in brown and white repeat the same coloring in the polka dot pillows.   Julie mixed classic with contemporary in this room – these painted chairs with brown leather are so beautiful!

 

 

In another West University house, this master bedroom was originally done in reds.  Julie was hired to update the room and create a serene environment.  Here the only pattern is in the 100% wool rug from Creative Flooring.  The room is large and very long, so a seating area was added to fill up the space.  A row of builder grade windows are given distinction by the beautiful curtains.

 

In this picture, you can see the contemporary art work upon which the room’s color scheme was based. 

 

Julie was given the honor of decorating the master suite in this year’s Pink Ribbon Showcase House.   Setting the tone is the gorgeous wall treatment hand painted by Segreto Finishes.  Wow!  It looks like Gracie wallpapering.  Soooo beautiful!!!!   The décor is a mix of traditional and antique furnishings.  

 

 

At the windows, Julie added a soft cornice to the shorter French doors to visually pull them higher, matching the taller windows on the right.  She added brown trim to the cotton twill curtains, adding extra interest.  I love the touch of pink silk in the ivory chair.

 

 

The bed was designed by Julie and made by The Joseph Company.  She used vinyl to cover the headboard AND the doors that lead to the bathroom.  The painting over the desk was done by an artist from Segreto’s Studio.

 

  

The master bathroom has a stunning marble flooring from Walker Zanger.  Around the bath, the same marble is found in 1” tiles.  Notice the studded door leading to the room. 

 

 

Another view of the bathroom.  I like how Julie used the black countertops, picking up the darker shade of marble. 

 

 

For this project, a model home on Sunset, Julie had a strict budget to work with.   I love the half round skirted tables that flank the fireplace.  

 

Julie lucked out with the chairs in orange ultrasuede that she found at the Guild shop.  To save money on the dining room table, she used a skirt – with brown trim to dress it up.

 

 

In the breakfast area, she used a tufted banquette and a zinc table. 

 

 

 

 

For this large custom home in Memorial, Julie chose a wool patterned rug from Creative Flooring to anchor the furniture.   Again, the rug and the pillows provide the only pattern.   She found the oversized angel wings in Highpoint.   The Joseph Company made the custom furniture. 

 

 

In the dining room, Julie used beadboard on the ceiling and then had it antiqued.  The chairs are covered in two fabrics, the velvet is a Mokum fabric.  The silk curtains are just gorgeous and perfectly match the Mokum fabric.

 

Above the table is the beautiful David Iatesta chandelier – one of my personal favorites!  I love it so much!!!!  It also comes in a celadon color and has matching sconces.  HERE.

 

 

The kitchen continues the elegant feel of the house, with upholstered barstools and an area rug. 

 

 

 

The powder room – notice the carvings on the cabinet!  

 

In the master bedroom, Julie wanted a quiet atmosphere with pops of color coming from the art work.  The mirrored night stands add a reflective quality to the room.

 

 

In the master bathroom, Julie used Sienna Silver, a travertine, from Walker Zanger.   It creates a great linear feel to the room.  

 

 

In 2008, Julie again was given the master bedroom suite of the Pink Ribbon Showcase House.  Here she used an iron bed with brown linen curtains. 

 

The bed helped bring the room’s high ceiling down to a more human scale.   I really love this room with its mix of antique and traditional furnishings.   On either side of the bed, she placed large pieces of art work instead of the more typical mirrors.  So pretty!!!!!

 

 

 

 

Showing that she does more than traditional interiors, Julie designed a very contemporary custom house in River Oaks.  

 

The living area is one large room with the dining area on one side.  The client’s family is large and they needed much room for entertaining.   The owner requested two triangular tables which Julie commissioned Bill Peck to make.  Julie took the color scheme from the owner’s art work.  A user friendly vinyl was used on the chairs.

 

At the other side of the room is the sitting area.  These great acrylic tables were custom designed by Julie and made by Muniz Plastics out of Florida.

 

 

The kitchen – notice the beautiful carpentry on the right!   The barstools have acrylic legs. Great light fixtures.

 

 

 

For this house, in Memorial, Julie designed the two cabinets on either side of the fireplace and had them custom made.  So much prettier than the typical built in cabinets.  

 

 

In the same house, the kitchen leads off the family room.  Here, a zinc top table came from Joyce Horn Antiques and the light fixture is by Restoration Hardware.

 

 

And, another view of the kitchen shows the darling bar stools, designed by Julie and made by The Joseph Company.

 

 

In this new construction house in Tanglewood, Julie used a rug from Creative Flooring.  The beautiful silk curtains are a light blue, taken from the rug’s colors.  The antique mirror came from Watkins Culver and the chandelier is by Niermann Weeks. 

 

 

 

Another view of the library.  I love that coffee table with its marble top and gilt legs. 

 

 

 

And finally, in the same house as the library, across from the family room was this open space.  The owners wanted something pretty to look at and instead of buying just a mirror,  Julie added art work from Cavalier Fine Arts, lamps with Fortuny shades from The Gray Door, and the ultimate – a gilt wooden bow from  Kay O’Toole!   I am so in love with that bow!!!!    I think she did such a great job, taking an insignificant corner and turning it into a wonderful place to rest your eye.   If I ever found a bow like that, hmmm….!

 

A special thank you to Julie Dodson from Dodson and Daughter.  To visit their web site, go HERE.  Julie promises some new photographs of two big projects in the near future and I can’t wait to see them!  Photographer:  Julie Soefer at 713.529.4700.

 

 

AND FOR HOUSTONIANS:  Monique Topping returns with a house full of antique furniture:

 

Besides the antiques, Liz Sloss’s jewelry will be featured.

 

 

And, Kathy Slater’s beautiful coffee tables will be there too.  To visit Kathy’s wonderful New Orleans shop, go HERE. 

 

 

Be sure to drop by this Thursday – Saturday to see all the merchandise AND the beautiful house!

Sotheby's Hands Back the Listing for the W Hollywood Residences

Maybe only about seven people outside of Los Angeles care about the particular turn of events we're about to dish on, but the real estate telephone wires in Lala Land have been burning up with scandal the last few days and we feel like opening up a line of discussion on the matter amongst any concerned, curious or otherwise nosy citizens.

Your Mama first heard this juicy bit of bizness last Friday while holed up at the Ace Hotel in Palm Springs where we hid out for a few extra (and unplanned) days from the dusty and near-deafening construction zone that was–and still is–Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter's modest cottage in the Hollywood Hills.

From what Your Mama heard from some of our better connected sources over the last few days, Sotheby's International Realty semi-quietly and unceremoniously handed back the once-plum listing for the entire W Hollywood Residences project, a brand-new residential condominium tower in the heart Hollywood connected to the brand new, a-bit-too-glitzy and highly-stylized W Hotel Hollywood on the storied corner of Hollywood and Vine.

In an effort at journalistic integrity, Your Mama reached out to Russ Filice, the well-known lead agent from Sotheby's on the project, who would only confirm that S.I.R. will no longer be involved with the W Hollywood Residences after the 15th of April.

At that point, it seems, the high-toned brokerage will wash their hands of the not exactly successful project that has not exactly been embraced by the real estate community and the sorts of snooty design-philes who give two whits about the newly constructed hotel/condo complex. Well-heeled buyers have also, it seems, rejected the high-priced condominium because according to two of Your Mama's informants only 10 of the 143 luxury units have closed escrow. Those bone marrow-chilling numbers sound even worse when y'all consider that the W Hollywood Residences have been on the market for around a year and a half. Boo! Does that scare the real estate daylights out of anyone else?

Although we once gobbled up a couple of delicious gin & tonics in the grandiosely-scaled lobby of the W Hotel with our pal Leeahndruh Livesinahightower, Your Mama asks that all the children keep in mind that we have never stepped foot in one of the condos. Not. One. Foot. What we're saying, of course, is that we don't know diddly squat about we're talking about here. Okay? Anyhoo, on with the show anyway. According to more than one big-shit real estate agent we know in Los Angeles, the W Hollywood Residences contain far too many very expensive units–they range from around $450,000 to $3,500,000 for a penthouse pad–that feature impossibly awkward and poorly positioned elements such as structural columns running up the center of rooms. The children might be amused and/or outraged to know that there are not, according to plans presented on project's website, any closets in the (one) bedroom of unit 4L. Nearly half a million clams for a one-bedroom crib in the heart Hollywood and Your Mama has to parade our fat ol' ass past the plate-glass windows in the living room to snatch on a pair of knickers? Uh, no.

Those sorts of architectural bungles and snafus tend to really perturb deep-pocketed potential buyers looking at fancy contemporary condos with–an agent pal we know snitched–high monthly fees of more than $1.10 per square foot. Adding insult to the injury of high maintenance fees are the (allegedly) shrinking building services that conspire to keep the caps on the escrow paper signing pens of potential buyers. Por ejemplo: well-to-do residents of the condos, we were told by an informant in a position to know, we're promised private valet services. But alas, abysmal sales have resulted in reduced revenues that have in turn forced cuts in the white-glove-y services for the condo portion of the complex.

Condo residents, we understand, are now forced to wait in line with hotel guests to have their automobiles brought around by the valet. Imagine, hunny bears, the horror of having to stand behind large-butted Jerry Nebraska in a pair of plaid Bermuda shorts as he waits for the valet to bring around his rented, teal-colored Chevy Lumina. Your Mama does not care to valet our big BMW if we can help it so we wouldn't care much about this parking situation but for many Angelenos for whom valet parking is like a religion, this inconvenience is a revolting proposition.

Making matter worse, we're told, is that some of the staging in one or more of the model units is questionable, an issue that further turns off potential buyers. Yesterday, an admittedly half in the bag neighbor we'll call Willy Winedrinker dished to Your Mama that one of the staged model units has a stripper pole and platform installed in the living room. That's right, a God damn stripper pole. We can not and will not go there, children, so do not even ask Your Mama to get started on this never ever acceptable stripper pole as day-core issue because we will blow a damn gasket.

As far as we know–and we really don't know a pistachio from a vacuum–no replacement has yet to be been chosen to succeed Mister Filice. What remains to be seen, of course, is if there's any real estate agent in Los Angeles who can turn that seemingly sinking ship around before it goes down like the Titanic. Has anyone called toothy and hard-charging Josh Altman (Hilton & Hyland) from Bravo's Million Dollar Listing? Yay? Nay? Anyhoo, We make no predictions, assumptions and assertions about what will transpire but Your Mama is quite certain that all the Real Estate Chicken Littles in Tinseltown peed their pants with glee over the possibility that the much-hyped and greatly-anticipated project might go down in a hot and public conflagration of failure and bankruptcy. We shall see butter churners, we shall see.

Cee Lo Green Leases L.A. Home of Former Child Star

LESSEE: Cee Lo Green
LANDLORD: Frankie Muniz
LOCATION: Los Angeles, CA
SIZE: 4,200 square feet, 5 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms
PRICE: unknown.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Speaking of Christina Aguilera...

The sometimes bumbly-stumbly soon-to-be-divorced pop star, whose bright star is everyday more eclipsed by whippersnapper superstars like Lady Gaga and Rihanna, will soon attempt to revivify her faltering career as a judge on the up-coming talent-based reality show The Voice. One of X-Tina's fellow judges on The Voice is a big ol' flamboyant man named Cee Lo Green who, according to information that recently slid down the gossip grapevine and into Your Mama's iPhone, recently took a short-term lease on a celebrity-owned home in the Sunset Strip area of Los Angeles, CA.

The toothy, tattooed, smooth-pated and somewhat rotund Mister Green hails from Atlanta, GA and first burst in to the consciousness of music lovers and listeners as part of Gnarls Barkley, a collaboration between himself and DJ Danger Mouse. That hip hopper collaboration produced a couple of Grammy awards and the 2006 hit song Crazy, which became painfully ubiquitous on the sound tracks played in the shopping emporiums of every mass retailer in America. Since then Mister Cee Lo Green has nursed a solo career and recently rocketed to the top of the charts and into the musical mainstream with his aggressively titled but catchy-tuned Fuck You! Top 40 types will recognize the little ditty as one performed by singing and dancing actress Gwyneth Paltrow on an episode of the most recent season of Glee and/or from the 2010 Grammy Awards when Miz Paltrow performed the song as a duet with Mister Cee Loo Green who, the children will recall, was dressed in a damn peacock outfit that might have once made Sir Elton John seethe and ache with envy.

Anyhoo, Your Mama–who does not really know a salt shaker from a baby maker–presumes that Mister Cee Lo Green needs a place to camp out in Los Angeles while filming the first season of The Voice. Personally, we thought Mister Green might have poo-pooed doing a reality show like this highly-stylized whoozimajig on which he's about to appear but fame and money talks, hunnies. And when fame and money cross-breed the sum is greater than its parts and has the ability to entice even the most jaded and cynical among us. Before any of y'all fame haters start blither-blathering on about how fame and fortune could never, ever corrupt your self-righteous ass just think about how wonderfully naughty and alluringly special it would be to have people ringing your people's phones off their hooks to offer little ol' you free goods and services like designer duds, first-class vacations, collagen implants and box seats with V.I.P. treatment at concerts and other events.

According to our source, a fine female we'll call Dee-Vanda Givesupthedish, Mister Cee Loo Green took a short-term lease on home just above Tinseltown's Sunset Strip owned by child star turned race car driver turned (alleged) victim and perpetrator of domestic violence Frankie Muniz.

Mister Muniz, who now lives primarily in the Phoenix/Scottsdale, AZ area, paid $3,499,000 the property back in January of 2006 according to property records. Since at least December of 2007 the formerly sweet-faced Mister Muniz been trying to unload his L.A. home. The property first came to Your Mama's attention in December of 2007 when the 4,200 square foot traditional was listed for $3,875,000. Since then the updated, upgraded and gated 5 bedroom and 4 bathroom house has been on and off the market a number of times at a couple of prices. Prior to Mister Cee Lo Green taking occupancy, the house was last listed for sale with an asking price of $3,195,000.

If all goes well with Mister Cee Lo's cross-marketing himself to the reality tee-vee world and if he isn't already out eye balling real estate we expect he'll soon be out combing the zip codes for a multi-million dollar house built for a baller.

listing photos: Sotheby's International Realty

UPDATE: Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne

It's baaaaacckk!

Wobbly rock star Ozzy Osbourne and his steel-willed wife Sharon have once again heaved and hoisted their ocean front residence on Malibu's lovely and desirable La Costa Beach on the market, this time with an asking price of $10,000,000.

The rock and roll royals acquired the 4,500 square foot three-story residence way back in March of 2003 for $5,100,000. Your Mama's wholly unscientific research indicates that the Osbournes first unsuccessfully attempted to unload the 5 bedroom and 5 pooper sea shore property in the spring of 2006 when it was listed with an–in hind sight optimistic–asking price of $14,000,000. Since then the Mister and Missus Osbourne have had the house on and off the market a number of times with various price tags that dipped down to as low as $10,995,000.

Several times over the years the Mister and Missus Osbourne set the property out for lease. The Shabby Chic meets glitz and glam beach pad was made available for long-term lease at $25,000 per month in late 2008 and last summer the brick-built beach crib was listed for a stiff monthly rate of $40,000. Iffin Your Mama is being honest, and we always are, we'd admit that we have not an iota of information about whether anyone took a short or long-term lease on the property. What we do know, thanks to information obtained from our informant Babbling Babette, is that in addition to their desire to sell the house for ten million clams Mister and Missus Osbourne are open to a long or short term lease at $40,000 and $65,000 per month respectively.

A walled, European-style courtyard separates the house from busy and traffic-choked Pacific Coast Highway and the main living level includes an entrance hall, living room with fireplace, dining room, ocean-side terrace, powder pooper and an all-stainless steel kitchen that has Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter's house gurl Svetlana apoplectic over the effort required to keep all that shiny stuff finger print (and dog nose print) free. On the second floor the master suite stretches across the entire ocean side of the house and includes a fireplace, private terrace, custom fitted walk-in closet and marble bath. Also on the second level, a road-side paneled library is jam-packed with exercise equipment. Up on the top floor there's an office and two more bedrooms each have private facilities and access to an ocean side terrace with a freestanding spa of the middlebrow variety.

After selling their crucifix-filled mansion in Beverly Hills, CA for $11,500,000 to increasingly erratic pop star Christina Aguilera and her now-estranged music executive huzband Jordan Bratman in the summer of 2007, the sometimes-controversial Osbournes decamped to the guard-gated and star-studded equestrian enclave of Hidden Hills, CA. Records and previous reports show the British ex-pats paid $10,250,000 for their horsey 10,953 square foot house that includes 6 bedrooms and 10 poopers. The Brits also maintain an estate outside Jordans in the Buckinghamshire area of England and we'd presume they have some sort of bedsit in London but, in truth, Your Mama has no confirmation or direct knowledge of such a thing.

Mister and Missus Osbourne's children all have their own homes in Los Angeles. Kelly–who often lives in London–has a wee house up behind the Chateau Marmont hotel bought in February 2005 for $1,195,000 that recently had a raw sewage situation. Jack has a small, secluded compound in the Laurel Canyon area and the oldest and less public sibling Aimee has a house in the Bird Streets above the Sunset Strip purchased by mumsy and paw-paw in June of 2007 from Grey's Anatomy actress and Tinseltown scion Jessica Capshaw for $2,350,000.

Miz Aguilera–who Your Mama heard through the celebrity real estate gossip grapevine had moved back to her house in The Bird Street area above the Sunset Strip–would like to sell the former Osbourne mansion/her former house of marital discord that she had done up and did-did-and done-did by Woodson and Rummerfield's House of Design who, we heard from a little design savvy birdie we know, are doing up Courtney Love's new (leased) digs in New York City. Miz X-Tina's six bedroom and 9 bathroom Bev Hills house was shopped around for several months off market before it officially hit the open market around March 11, 2011 with an asking price of $13,500,000.

listing photos: Sotheby's International Realty

UPDATE: Ben Stiller

SELLER: Ben Stiller
LOCATION: Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $11,495,000
SIZE: 10 bedrooms and 11 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Way back in May of 2009 Your Mama floated the celebrity real estate rumor that comedy king Ben Stiller and his wife Christine were fixin' to float their compound in the Outpost Estates neighborhood of Los Angeles, CA on the market with an asking price of $12,500,000.

In September of the same year the property officially hit the open market with a price tag...drum roll please...of $12,500,000. Two months later the three parcel compound was withdrawn and removed from the (open) market.

In the fall of 2008, prior to all this real estate mishegas in Los Angeles, Mister and Missus Stiller spent ten million bucks to buy duplex digs in the same Upper West Side building as Mister Stiller's comedy legend parents Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara.

The couple's relocation to New York City must be official and complete because this week their lavish but comfortable-looking Hollywood Hills compound has been re-listed on the open market with a reduced asking price of $11,495,000.

Listing information for the Stiller compound–which includes a total of 10 bedrooms and 11 bathrooms between the main house, guest house and apartment above the garage–and a custom website built for the property reveal that much (if not all) of Mister and Missus Stiller's personal items have been removed and replaced with a lot of white slip covered furniture and other comestibles easily recognized as having been put in place by Staging Lady in a Pink Toyota.

Other notable property owners in the Outpost Estates 'hood include (but are not limited to) Charlize Theron, William H. Macy and Felicity Huffman, Michael C. Hall, Hugh Laurie, Orlando Bloom and the sassy-pants provocateur Gore Vidal who put his house up for sale in early 2011 with an asking price of $3,495,000.

listing photos: Everett Fenton Gidley for Sotheby's International Realty

While I Was Sleeping…

 

 

The roses have been busy.  I was late to take notice that spring has exploded in my back courtyard.  It seems as if it happened overnight.    This past winter was extremely cold and that accounts for all the profusion of flowers – the azaleas look incredible and I suspect the bluebonnets have turned the fields along the back roads leading to Round Top into a sea of purple. 

 

In my courtyard, the three rose bushes from The Antique Rose Emporium in Independence, Texas, have completely overtaken my back fence.  I planted these bushes about 15 years ago.   The antique climbers quickly grew to full height, around 15’, arching out over the gravel courtyard in a magnificent display of dark pink and creamy white roses.   Until one day that is, when I came home to discover the Rose Tenders crew had cut the bushes back, taking off about 8 ft. of limbs.  I can’t recall ever being so angry and upset over a flower before.  Irate too at the stupidity of “pruning” an antique climber.   It’s taken years for these bushes to reach back to their full height again, and even then, they have never achieved that weeping, arching effect.  I’m waiting for that, maybe next year, or the next.    And yes, I did break down and buy the Kooboo chairs.  It’s a story for another day – lots of changes going on inside my house which I hope to show you soon.

 

 

 

 

There are two bushes of these pink roses.   One on the left side, and one in the middle right over the fountain.  The pink roses aren’t particularly fragrant but that’s ok.   The creamy rose makes up for the scentless pair.

 

 

It seems as if the rose bushes grew several feet overnight!   The amount of their growth this spring has been incredible.   Because of this massive growth, the iron trellis over the fountain can barely be seen now.  Only the twinkly lights alert you to the fact that there is indeed a trellis  there.

 

 

The creamy white roses are on the right side of the yard.  This variety isn’t nearly as tall or full as the pink.  I should have planted all three bushes the same variety – but at the time, I had no idea I was making a landscaping decision that would be here 15 years later! 

 

 

The freezing winter caused a lot of damage around town.  I lost two potted trees and all my variegated ivy is gone.   The pots were filled this week their summer plants and all the beds have been cleaned out and planted with green and white caladiums, whose ears should start peeking out soon.  

 

 

 

 

I wrestle with the landscape design.  Some days I love the cluttered English style garden with masses of roses and ivy everywhere.   Then there are days when I want the stark green only garden with box and zinc pots and lots of succulents.   One day…. if I ever have room for both kinds of gardens, that might happen.  Right now the English look is winning. 

 

 

Unfortunately, I don’t know the name of the rose varieties, but it really doesn’t matter.  All of The Antique Rose Emporium varieties are perfect.    Go HERE to read my story about The Antique Rose Emporium.  Go HERE to read their web site.