Stone Cold Offering

SELLER: Stone Phillips
LOCATION: The Oliver Cromwell, 12 West 72nd Street, NYC
PRICE: $4,195,000 (maintenance: $3,029 / month)
SIZE: 2 bedrooms, 2.5 baths
DESCRIPTION: (shortened from listing agent's website) This 2 bedroom, 2.5 bathroom three level penthouse is a dazzling architectural gem...Enjoy sunsets over the river from the terrace...Entertain to your hearts delight on a 300 square foot planted terrace with outdoor sound system and spotlights on landmarked facade...State of the art kitchen...Wainscotted dining room wit leathr paneled walls...up to the minute audio visual system controlled room by room includes three lage HD flat screen televisions and additional flat screen TVs in master bath, dressing area and kitchen...Pets allowed.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: If any of you children out there are rich, well exercised, living in New York City, and looking for a place to live, please call the listing agent for this property. This poor woman over at Corcoran is having a devil of a time unloading this property. I know babies, it does not look like a dog, but it is. The price for this property started around $5,500,000 and has been whittled down to it's current asking price of $4,195,000. It is just a good thing this Stone Phillips has a good job over at the NBC, because he's losing his real estate shirt on this one.

Your Mama has been tracking this apartment for quite some time and for some reason we love it. We would never buy this place, but we are none the less, strangely, drawn to it.

First we will discuss the negatives.

1.) The location. Even though The Oliver Cromwell is a handsome building and is well located across from Central Park and the Dakota, where that kooky Yoko Ono lives, we would never live on the Upper West Side. Just a preference dollies, so don't all you UWSiders get yourself all up in a snit and start giving us grief.
2.) The stairs. All the children know Your Mama's lungs are weak and will not tolerate that amount of exertion. We have enough trouble navigating the spiral stairs in our own duplex, so much as we like this apartment, we can not do a triplex. No. No. No.
3.) The view. The listing states there are "dramatic" views of Central Park...but we're not convinced. According to the wee map arrow thingy on the floor plan, that terrace faces west-ish, towards the Hudson River. For this amount of money for a two bedroom apartment, most buyers will want to face the park, not New Jersey.
4.) The dining room. We don't mind the smallish size...in fact Your Mama likes to take meals in a cozy location. It's the leather walls. It sounds interesting and luxe and very decoratorish, but it also sounds as if it would be like dining inside someone's handbag. Do you think the walls still smell like hide?

We said earlier we were drawn to this apartment, so let Your Mama tell you what we do like about this apartment.

1.) The living room. With windows on three sides, this room ensures plenty of light and lovely cross breezes on warm days.
2.) The powder room. We always appreciate a powder room which enables guests to do their business without their hosts having to listen to the action.
3.) The master bedroom. This private aeriee occupies an entire floor of its own within the apartment, includes a generous dressing area and a bathroom with a specatular vista.
4. The terrace. You know Your Mama loves a terrace almost as much as we love our our own family.

For the record, Your Mama made efforts to contact to listing agent, but she did not reply so we're taking that as a "no comment."

Sources: Corcoran, The Observer, olivercromwell.org, nndb