The House of Pirro

SELLER: Jeanine and Albert Pirro
LOCATION: Harrison, NY
PRICE: $4,295,000
SIZE: 1.43 acres, 7,873 square feet, 6 bedrooms, 5 full and 3 half bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: European elegance & sophistication abound in this impressive home with exquisite architectural detail. An open & flowing floor plan create a luxurious ambiance for large scale entertaining. Private 1.43 acre includes a pool, cabana, and small guest house. Projected HOA dues for 2007 $100-$200.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Before we get to really discussing this house, Your Mama would like to state right away that everything we write about this house is our opinion and what we have written about the private lives of the couple is all in the public record. See children, this house of decorating disasters belongs to former District Attorney for Westchester County Jeanine Pirro and her real estate attorney huzband Albert. So Jeanine and Al hunnies, don't sue us.

In addition to their primary residence up in the ritzy Westchester County enclave of Harrison, we will additionally be discussing the Pirros' vacation property in West Palm Beach, which the couple have also recently put on the market.

Your Mama imagines all the children not located in and around New York City likely do not know much about who these Pirro people are and why they merit inclusion in our little blog about celebrity real estate. But trust us when we tell you, these two are New York tabloid royalty.

Lady Pirro carved her well-earned reputation in the District Attorney's office as a tough litigator and advocate for the rights and protections of battered women...a real Gloria Allred type. Also well known for her ferocious self-promotion, impossibly short skirts, and stiletto heels, she was named one of People Magazine's 50 Most Beautiful People in 1997.

Lady Pirro, who for 12 years held the position as the District Attorney in Westchester County, has repeatedly attempted to parlay her one-time golden girl status with the GOP into a higher office. In 1986 she was hand picked by her party to be the the nominee for the office of Lieutenant Governor of New York. After allegations came to the surface about her huzband's alleged ties to reputed mobsters, Lady Pirro withdrew from the race.

Then in 2006, she sought, but did not obtain, the Republican nomination for Senate. She quickly switched gears and won the nomination for the New York State Attorney General, but lost the election to New York political scion Andrew Cuomo amid embarrassing allegations she hired Bernie Kerik, the former New York City police commissioner, to secretly wire-tap her huzband who she suspected was having an affair. Yikes!

Sir Pirro, a wily and wildly successful real estate attorney, has a somewhat checkered past that has played itself out quite publicly in the New York media. Indeed he has long standing professional relationships with such high profile individuals as The Donald (Trump), but he also has a well earned reputation as a philanderer and tax evader. In 2000 he was convicted on 66 counts of federal tax fraud after claiming as business expenses such luxuries as a Ferrari, two Mercedes Benz', the electronic gates to the house in Harrison, and salaries for staff that performed personal duties such as baby-sitting the Pirro children and taking the family's pot bellied pigs to the vet.

It also came out that Sir Pirro fathered a child with another woman while married to Lady Pirro. He denied the allegations for years, but after a court ordered DNA test was forced to accept responsibility for the child.

Children, can you imagine what these two talk about in the quiet of their bedroom before turning off the lights and going to sleep? Lawhd puppies, to be a fly on that wall.

Now, on to the Pirro's house of horrors up in Harrison. Now, the children all know Your Mama prefers not to hate on the real estate we discuss, but we also pride ourselves on calling it like we see it. And so we have to confess to all the children that we threw up in our mouth a little when we saw the photos of this house.

What have these people done to this poor house? No doubt everything here cost the Pirros' a small fortune, but seriously, what in the world were they thinking? We sometimes forget that people really do choose this kind of bizarre and ostentatious middle-class opulence. Your Mama is so overcome with fear and loathing we are at a loss as to where to begin discussing this nouveau riche extravaganza.

So we're not going to. After washing out our mouth and double checking the photos, Your Mama has determined this house is so disturbing and repellent that it requires no additional commentary.

The house is listed with Sotheby's at the shocking and truly unbelievable price of $4,295,000. However, we were not able to find the listing on their website, but rather on the Westchester County Board of Realtors' website.

Sources: The Journal News, New York Magazine, The Daily News, Wikipedia, JeaninePirro.com