Marilyn Manson's Suburban Dream

SELLER: Brian Warner, aka Marilyn Manson
LOCATION: Laramie Avenue, Chatsworth, CA
PRICE: $1,100,000
SIZE: 4,484 square feet, 5 bedrooms, 4.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Celebrity owned privately gated Mediterranean estate. Perched above street level on over 1/2 acre of totally private grounds. The one level floor plan boasts an over sized family room, separate office/library, home theatre room and more. Hardwood floors underscore the majority of the nearly 4,500 square foot floor plan. Property has been rebuilt since original construction. The huge rear grounds boast a pool, covered cabana, and a tremendous amount of rolling lawns all with beautiful views.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Suburban Chatsworth, 30+ miles north of the glitz and glamour of Beverly Hills, has long been considered the unofficial capital of the porn industry. Since March of 2003 it's also been home to controversial shock rocker Marilyn Manson, who was born with the much less interesting name Brian Warner. While the local citizenry won't likely rid the city of of its porn capital reputation, they will soon be saying goodbye to the bewigged and heavily made up musician who recently put his 5 bedroom and 4.5 bathroom Mediterranean manse on the market for $1,100,000.

The intelligent and usually articulate Mister Manson has said he left the white hot center of Los Angeles for the comparatively quiet Chatsworth in the aftermath of the chilling and tragic school shootings in Columbine, about which the button pushing singer took a lot of heat because many felt that his music influenced the shooters. Your Mama thinks that's hogwash and finger pointers would be better off looking elsewhere in their efforts to assign blame, but that's another topic for another blog.

Anyhoo, Mister Manson was married to and once occupied this 4,484 square foot suburban dream house with the sublime and ridiculously beautiful burlesque dancer Dita Von Teese. But Miss Von Teese dumped the make up loving rock star in late 2006 amid rumors that he was having relations with teenage actress Evan Rachel Wood. They denied the accusations, but of course, Mister Manson and Miss Wood are now a gruesome twosome about town, so make of Miss Teese's suspicions what you will.

Although we can't be sure, it appears from the photographs that Mister Manson and his teenage lover have vacated the premises. We suspect that may be the case because we don't seen any evidence of the Nazi memorabilia Mister Manson is known to have amassed. Nor do we spy the African masks made of human skin or the skeleton of the four year old Chinese boy the controversial collector has been reported to own. See children, Mister Manson's penchant for shocking middle Americans is not just an act he puts on while on stage or in front of a camera. He really is a strange and peculiar individual whose rebellious streak, while certainly packaged and manipulated for publicity, is not in and of itself a publicity stunt.

Don't misunderstand Your Mama, we think he's weird too. But we are not particularly bothered or threatened by his putrid public persona or his contrarian sensibilities. Nor are we upset by his attraction to polemical and creepy objects. Your Mama thinks there's a lot more upsetting and disturbing in the world to fret over than Mister Manson's taxidermy baboons. Like littering. And Mister Manson's questionable taste in real estate and interior decor.

Perhaps this house looked more interesting and put together before the real estate agent wisely had Mister Manson clear the place of dead animals and human remains, but we're not convinced. Listing information for the property states that property has been entirely rebuilt since it was originally constructed in 1938, but looking at that wacky 1980s era kitchen, it appears to Your Mama that some of the rebuilding happened 20 years ago or more. We also find the sad duo of crystal chandeliers a desperate and ineffective attempt to add a Gothic twist to what is really a very ugly and very suburban kitchen.

The photos also indicate that Mister Mansion installed a recording studio, which Your Mama imagines was very convenient for the musician. But did he have to lay down that gawd-awful purple carpet? We get it...purple is all goth rocker royalty, but damn that is offensive. Your Mama recommends the children always say no to any urge they might have for purple carpeting and then consult a doctor about said urge for purple carpeting.

Property records show that Mister Manson purchased the house in March of 2003 for $1,270,000. An interesting figure, because the half-acre property is on the market for just $1,100,000. Which indicates that after the real estate fees are paid, Mister Manson could lose up to $250,000 on the transaction, an almost unheard of situation in what has been an electric real estate market in Los Angeles. Perhaps this is because the market has cooled. Perhaps this it just might be difficult to find someone to buy a residence once occupied by the goth rocker. Or maybe it's because he's trying to liquidate his assets as a result of the huge lawsuit filed against him by a former band member. Or maybe it's that trashy cracked driveway that's going to turn off buyers before they even get into the house and see the black tile, teal walls and purple carpet.

Whatever the case, Mister Mansion, who can likely financially weather a $250,000 loss, is going to lose his tight leather pants on the deal. As of this morning Your Mama does not know where Mister Manson and his teenage luvah are planning on shacking up, but our guess is it will not be in Chatsworth.