Anjelica Huston Wants Out of Venice Beach Complex

SELLER: Anjelica Huston
LOCATION: Venice, CA
SIZE: 13,796 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 2 full and 3 half bathrooms
PRICE: $18,000,000

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: We're joining this party a little late but Your Mama loves us an artist space so we're going to re-hash a Venice, CA live-work property owned by movie star and Hollywood icon Anjelica Huston that's already been well hashed in Curbed LA and the Huffington Post.

Anjelica Huston is dee-vine, hunnies. As far as we're concerned beehawtcha can just stand there looking into the camera not saying a damn word and we'd happily hand over 13 or 15 bucks to watch that movie, you know? She was flaw-less in Prizzi's Honor–for which she was awarded an Oscar–she was insanely good in The Grifters–which earned her an Oscar nomination–she was dead on target in the The Addams Family film franchise, she was delicious in The Royal Tenenbaums and even tastier in The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou.

More recently Miz Huston, the widow of famed and acclaimed sculptor Robert Graham, has turned in smashing performances in lesser known films such as the black comedy Choke and a cinematic adaption of Leo Tolstoy's novella The Kreutzer Sonata. The movie star has also taken on couple of boob-toob roles on Huff and Medium.

Mister Graham, most known for his obsession with the human form, particularly that of a nekkid ladee. Some of the children may have seen one of his famous female torsos in Beverly Hills, CA where a 14-foot solid aluminum hottie that stands on a chunky bronze pedestal at the intersection of Rodeo Drive and Dayton Way. Others may recall the headless and feetless über athletic male and female torsos standing atop a post and lintel structure commissioned by the Los Angles Olympic Organizing Committee and installed at the main entrance to the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum to commemorate the 23rd Olympiad held in Los Angeles. New Yorkers who deign to go above East 90th Street will recognize Mister Graham's 30-foot tall cast bronze and gold leaf Duke Ellington Memorial installed in the center Duke Ellington Circle–that's Fifth Avenue and East 110th Street–at the northeast corner of Central Park.

Miz Huston and Mister Graham's contemporary complex sits on three contiguous parcels just 200 feet from the wild, wacky and high-lariously entertaining hot mess that is the Venice Beach Boardwalk and the often thickly populated sugary sand that stretches out towards the surf. The residential quarters occupy the center parcel, the massive art studio sits on the eastern parcel and the smallest third parcel on the western side is a narrow, ficus tree shaded garden with a patch of grass, a lot of potted plants, and a tiny brick terrace with a carved Balinese sofa, plant laden coffee table and one of those fire chimney things that can be purchased from any Home Despot around the country.

The entire compound is walled, gated and presumably very well secured. The blocky residential side, which presents and all but windowless fortress-like face to the street, spans 4,063 square feet over two floors and according to listing information combines French, Mediterranean and Bauhaus architectural styles. The interior spaces of the residence include 3 bedrooms and 2 full and 3 half poopers. The main living areas include a combination living and dining room with hardwood floors, fireplace and a soaring barrel vaulted ceiling , a game room down in the basement–a basement is surely a very rare thing in Venice–and a narrow book shelf lined library/den. Several balconies and French doors open the house to the side yard or the quite and exquisitely private central courtyard that separates the two buildings.

In addition tot the living quarters, the Graham-Huston's corrugated metal and glass warehouse-style complex includes a gigantic studio with 9,733 square feet of airiness designed by Robert Graham's son Steven with the assistance of avant-garde Venice, CA architecture firm Studio Vass. The studio space towers three stories tall with 2 mezzanine and offers a series of interconnected and voluminous flexible use spaces flooded with light and ocean views from the higher levels. The studio is currently configured, according to listing information and previous reports, as a gallery, offices, dance/exercise room, communal kitchen, large workshop, and top floor sitting room with vaulted ceiling, poured concrete floors, and a view of the Pacific Ocean past the palm trees and over the surrounding roof tops.

Shaded by a lovely coral tree, the quiet courtyard that separates the living quarters from the studio building including coral colored concrete hardscaping, dining terrace, a couple nooks and crannies for contemplative moments, and a raised black bottomed lap pool and party-sized spa.

Listen puppies, Your Mama can hardly tell a dog from a cat but we can easily recognize that Miz Huston and Mister Graham's leviathan live-work space this is a massive complex that sprawls across 3 contiguous lots with astronomical square footage. But we also know that it's located Venice or, as Curbed LA succinctly called it, "the corner of tourist and crazy." Don't none of your Venice Beachers misunderstand Your Mama. We loves us the nitty-gritty architecturally forward thinking city of Venice–well, not those RV people who dump there terlit waste right into the street gutters–but let's be honest, $18,000,000 is a lot of damn clams for a house in a plush zip code like 90077, 90210 or 90024 so a price that stratospheric in the 90291 makes it seem like someone got hit hard over the head a serious case of Real Estate Insanity. But then again, because of it's proximity to the beach, this property might very well be a goldmine if it can be further developed and converted to an arty-farty but freakishly expensive boho-chic condominium complex.

Your Mama doesn't know where Miz Huston plans on moving or where Mister Graham's archives will be kept if not in this building. Although it seems unlikely she'd move there full time we do know from property records and previous reports–including this one in Architectural Digest–that Miz Huston owns a 120+ acre ranch spread up in the bee-yoo-tee-ful and rugged foothills of the Sierra Nevada Mountains in Three Rivers, CA, near where the north, south and middle forks of the Kaweah River merge. As it turns out Your Mama knows a little summin-summin about that particular neck of the California citrus groves. As a child, our tough talkin' Granny and sweet talkin' Grandpappy used to toss Your Mama and Sister Woman into the back of their Datsun pee-cup truck and take us on up to the Kaweah Chuckwagon Cafe, a smorgasbord style restaurant where we feasted on soggy chicken, dried out ham, and red Jell-O with that horrible hard skin it sometimes gets. The Chuckwagon has done went out of business but perhaps Miz Huston had the distinct if dubious pleasure of eating at the Chuckwagon before it shut its doors because we'd like to think we've had at least that one shared experience with such a creature as Miz Huston.

listing photos: Engel & Voelkers

Winona Ryder Does Not Live Here Anymore

SELLER: Winona Ryder
LOCATION: Los Angeles, CA
SIZE: 3,765 square feet, 4 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms
PRICE: $4,095,000

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Thanks to the eagle eyes of our trusted snitch The Rolling Stone, Your Mama learned that actress Winona Ryder put her long time home in Los Angeles, CA on the market with an asking price of $4,095,000.

Arguably, Miss Ryder's professional salad days as an in-demand a-list actress who could pull in the sort of box office receipts that make executive producers swoon with delight were in the late 1980s and early 1990s. Back then she worked her somewhat ethereal and gauzy stuff in seriously successful films such as Beetlejuice, Heathers, Edward Scissorhands, Mermaids, The Age of Innocence, and Little Woman, the latter two earning her Academy Award nominations. Since those heady Hollywood days and except for those few years right after she was picked up for shoplifting $5,500 worth of merchandise at Saks in Beverly Hills, Miss Ryder's worked steadily even though her star status was unquestionably dimmed. Recently, the spritely and quirky actress has experienced an upsurge in her career. In 2009 she starred in 3 feature films including The Private Lives of Pippa Lee, and in 2010 she appeared in two more including Darren Aronofsky's Black Swan and she has at least two more films in the hopper including Tim Burton's next cinematic extravaganza Frankenweenie.

Records show that Miss Ryder picked up her soon to be former Spanish casa in Tinseltown in March of 1998. She paid $2,600,000 for the 1936 abode that was formerly owned (or occupied), according to the mens at Movieland Directory, by one time model and ack-turuss Angie Everhart and, before her, Bernie Taupin, otherwise known and Elton John's songwriting collaborator.

Listing information shows the two story house, wrapped in towering privacy hedges and dripping in wisteria vines and prickly but pretty bougainvillea, measures 3,765 square feet and includes 4 bedrooms and 4 poopers, three of which feature finely maintained vintage tile work. Although powdery pink and baby blue are hardly the colors we'd pick and choose our private master pooper, it's damn refreshing to see these old relics of pooper days gone by preserved rather than ripped out and replaced with some tumbled stone this and black granite shit that.

One need only get their eyeballs on the fake the tee-vees mounted on the walls and the reedonkulous chenille blanket tossed and draped "perfectly" across the bed in the master bedroom to know that that Staging Lady in a Pink Toyota has been up in here and removed every trace of Miss Ryder's day-core and replaced it with a bunch of bland beige crap and neutral knick-knacks that won't give any potential buyer a reason to think a person with style or taste may have actually occupied the home. Your Mama is certain that if we look hard enough we'll find an orchid or two but, seriously people, we can't stomach another orchid making a show of itself in a staged home.

Although Your Mama is not sure if he did up the now removed day-core in this house, we understand from our reading around the interweb that Miss Ryder had nice, gay decorator Kevin Haley do over at least one of her homes. Coincidentally, Mister Haley, who has worked on homes for other famous folks like Brad Pitt and Cameron Diaz, has put his casually decadent house low in the Hollywood Hills on the market too. More on that at a later date.

Anyhoo, the front door opens into a wide entry hall with stained glass windows, Spanish tile floors, dark murals that look to Your Mama like they depict the Garden of Eden or some other sordid story, and a loopy scrolled wrought iron banister that swoops down the sweeping staircase that Norma Desmond, and any other queen who likes to make an entrance, would love. Also very glam, is the downstairs powder pooper complete with burgundy colored vintage tile and an antechamber blessed built in vanity table where guests can conveniently reapply lipstick, do a few lines, and/or check to make sure their chi-chis aren't coming up out of their strapless dinner dress.

Miss Ryder's soon to be former home also has a long formal living room with picture window, hardwood floors, French doors that open to the backyard area, and corner fireplace with carved wood mantel and surround, a dining room, and a narrow paneled pub room with some built in shelves, a couple of emaciated "beams" running across the ceiling that are probably just decorative, and a built in wet bar for getting one's booze on. Somewhere in there, according to listing information is a staff room and a body torture chamber more commonly known as a home gym.

The cook friendly kitchen has an oddly rustic feeling–some might call it charm, but it is decidedly not Your Mama's brand of charming–with hardwood floors, exposed antique brick walls, white cabinetry, beige counter tops, and a venting hood over the range top so big it looks like it could hoover up anyone who might dare to turn it on and stand under it. An adjacent breakfast room opens up into the quiet courtyard that separates the main house from the garage.

The well preserved house and garage wing wrap themselves around a cozy courtyard paved with bricks laid in a herringbone pattern and warmed by an a raised outdoor fire place that could probably double as a barbecue. The courtyard opens up to a classic California kidney shaped swimming pool separated from a small flat patch of grass just large enough to exercise a couple of long bodied bitches like our Linda and Beverly.

Your Mama can't be knowing if Miss Ryder's real estate plans include a downsize, an upgrade or if she's packing up and leaving Los Angeles altogether. Property records–and the bizzy boys at Celebrity Address Aerial–show that Miss Ryder continues to own a home in her home town of San Francisco, CA. All signs and signals indicate Miss Ryder paid $1,300,000 for her 3,436 square foot single family residence in the Cow Hollow neighborhood in April of 1995.

Until June of 2008, Miss Ryder owned a New York City pied a terre in the lovely Gramercy Park neighborhood at 1 Lexington Avenue that she sold for $2,200,000. As far as we know, which is next to nothing, she hasn't purchased a new pad in Manhattan or anywhere else on the east coast.

listing photos: Westside Estate Agency

Amy Adams: New Baby, New House

BUYER: Amy Adams and Darren Le Gallo
LOCATION: Beverly Hills, CA
PRICE: $3,165,000
SIZE: 4,311 square feet, 4 bedrooms, 3.5 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: According to no fewer than three of Your Mama's better connected sources, two-time Oscar nominated actress Amy Adams (Junebug, Enchanted, Sunshine Cleaning, Doubt, Julie & Julia) owns a perfectly lovely if architecturally ordinary 3 bedroom and 4 pooper Cape Cod-ish style crib with designer done interiors in the lower Benedict Canyon area of Beverly Hills. According to property records, Miss Adams' Benedict Canyon property was purchased through a trust in December of 2008 for $1,825,000.

In mid-May of 2010 Miss Adams pushed out a gurl baby that she made with her actor-artist fiancé Darren Le Gallo. If Your Mama has said it once we've said it 72 times: When the rich and famous get a new baby–or a new spouse–it often means they buy a new house. We're not sure why that is exactly but property records reveal that in late July of 2010 the very same trust and trustee associated with Miss Adams and her baby daddy's Benedict Canyon residence scooped up a new house on a secluded quiet cul de sac high in the Hills above Beverly.

Your Mama managed to dig up listing information for the new property which indicates the Connecticut style ranch was originally built in 1952 and extensively remodeled with contemporary elements in 2005. The sprawling and well maintained house measures 4,311 square feet according to listing information with 4 bedrooms and 3.5 poopers including a master suite privately situated on the second floor that provides tree top views, hardwood floors, a fireplace, two custom fitted walk-in closets, a posh pooper with spa tub, and a private patio with a slivery view of the city lights and Pacific Ocean.

An electronic drive gate opens to a small flagstone motor court lined with lush plantings. The children will note how the landscaping palette has been kept to just green things, a choice that along with the frosted glass paned garage doors lends a contemporary vibe to an otherwise architecturally traditional house. We're certain that some of the children will loathe this merger of modern with East Coast traditional–the somewhat cliché garage doors in particular–but Your Mama don't mind it a bit. Yes, we love and appreciate an architecturally and stylistically pure abode just as much as the next property snob, but we can also get on board when an architecturally undistinguished house is given a more contemporary spin on things.

Anyhoo, a short walkway leads to the front door that opens into a small foyer that immediately and unceremoniously gives way to the combination living and dining room that features original hardwood floors, a vaulted and beamed ceiling punched through with sky lights, built-in bookshelves, a stacked stone fireplace, and three sets of French doors that open the room to the gigantic flagstone terrace that extends off the back of the multi-winged ranch.

Very contemporary, frameless frosted glass panels that stretch from the floor to the ceiling divide the living/dining room from a good sized and oddly shaped study/den with charcoal colored slate floors, built-in shelving, and vaulted wood ceiling with exposed beams. Since the day-core in the listing photos is that of the previous owner we won't comment (much) on that but Your Mama will confess that we get goose pimples over how the crisp white and art-friendly walls in the living/dining room and the study/den beautifully juxtapose themselves against the more organic woods and stone elements that repeat themselves throughout both the interior and exterior of the property.

The charcoal colored slate floors continue into the commodious kitchen, into the adjacent family room that opens out to the back yard terrace and, somewhat unexpectedly and strangely, up the walls and onto the back splash in the kitchen. The gore-may cookery is essentially a wide galley style affair with a long work island/breakfast bar down the center. The sleek flat fronted cabinetry, sky lights, and high grade stainless steel appliances that include a sizable side by side Sub-Zero and a mac-daddy Viking brand range are, once again, set off against the more organic quality of the slate flooring and vaulted wood ceiling with exposed beams and trusses. Built-in cabinets in the family room area accommodate tee-vee and stereo/iPod equipment.

According to listing information, there are three bedrooms in addition to the master suite and a fourth that has been converted to a home gym. Your Mama really has no idea if Miss Adams and Mister Le Gallo plan to maintain a home gym, but this being Tinseltown it would certainly not be surprising if the well formed pair opted to install a whole bunch of body torture equipment in their new home to save them the trip and indignity of going to a public fitness facility.

A large room with a flat beamed ceiling and original hardwood floors was outfitted by the previous owners as a media room with a gigantic sectional sofa, floating built-in cabinetry for books and entertainment equipment and a wall mounted flat scree tee-vee. Short of putting it in a cabinet with closing doors it's nearly impossible to hide the squawk box. The children will take note, however, that the the boob-toob was cleverly disguised–or at least minimized–by hanging artwork in a tight cluster around the tee-vee.

In addition to the generously sized flagstone terrace that runs along the back of the house, the back yard area includes a built-in barbecue center, mature trees and plantings, an unnaturally green lawn that undulates gently with the terrain, and a gated and nearly hidden free-form swimming pool and spa. While all the trees and foliage that run up to the edge and hang over the pool and spa look amazingly au natural, we're certain that Miss Adams and Mister Le Gallo's pool man will quietly curse them out every week while he's skimming all the leaves and other crap off the surface and bottom of the swimming pool.

The nearly 1-acre property also includes a cactus garden–and Your Mama loves us a cactus garden–a fully fenced and partially shaded dog run with stacked stone walls, pathways that meander up and around the hillside and lead to stone benches, and at least one secluded deck with long views over the surrounding canyon towards the city lights and the Pacific Ocean.

Listen chickens, Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter don't pine to live in a Connecticut style ranch house in the 90210, but iffin we did and we had three and some million clams to spend, Miss Adams and Mister Le Gallo's new digs just might be the icing to that cake. It's wonderfully private, perfectly quiet, big without being obscene, luxurious but kick your feet up casual, done without being over done, traditionally built but modern minded and, generally speaking, looks like a lovely spot to escape the intensity and fakery of showbiz. Brava! Miss Adams.

Some of Miss Adams and Mister Le Gallo's new neighbors include Queen Latifah and, we presume, her "trainer" Jeanette Jenkins, Dixie Carter's widow Hal Holbrook, actor Jonathan Frakes and his soap star wife Genie Francis who put their 6 bedroom and 10 pooper house up for lease in 2009 when they moved to Maine, and leveraged buyout tycoon Ted Forstmann who owns the IMG talent agency and once courted Top Chef's statuesque stunner Padma Lakshmi.

listing photos: PostRain Productions for Partners Trust

Mariska Hargitay Upgrades in the Hamptons

BUYER: Mariska Hargitay and Peter Hermann
LOCATION: East Hampton, NY
PRICE: $7,340,000
SIZE: 7,000 square feet, 11 bedrooms 6.6 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: With the summer coming to a close–and Hurricane Earl bearing down on the east coast–we thought we'd take a virtual stroll out to the hoity-toity and celebrity packed Hamptons, that glittering string of über upscale communities that dot the beachy and bucolic landscape at the far eastern end of the south fork of Long Island.

In early July of 2010 it was reported that the Emmy winning Law & Order hottie-mommy Mariska Hargitay and her actor huzband Peter Hermann upgraded their East Hampton digs from a modest 2,554 square foot house on East Hampton's Buell Lane to an historic and rambling shingle-sided farmhouse in the same posh part of town as the summertime spreads of Martha Stewart, Mort Zuckerman, and Jerry della Femina. The property is, as it turns out, also just around the corner from the very English-y Coxwould estate–listed for a bone breaking $425,000 for the 2010 summer season–that the Kabbalah Kween is rumored and reported to have leased for the summer because the $10,000,000 horse farm that she bought in late 2009 from Kelly Klein does not, alas, have a house on the property.

Blame it on the booze butter beans, but Your Mama quickly forgot about Mister and and Missus Hargitay's new house in the Hamp-toons until recently when we were clued in by the bizzy boys at Celebrity Address Aerial who whispered in Your Mama's big ol' ear that the Hargitay-Hermanns scooped up a 3-story house in East Hampton–purchased through a trust–in late June 2010 for $7,340,000.

Listing information shows the disheveled and slightly raggedly old-school Hamptons "cottage"–built way back 1890–sits on a 1.14 acre parcel and measures approximately 7,000 square feet with a staggering 11 bedrooms and 6.6 poopers. We're not exactly sure what a .6 pooper is but that, puppies, is what the listing says.

A gravel driveway sweeps across the yard to the house where a charming and deep covered porch spans the width of the front facade. There's little Your Mama enjoys more than whittling a summer day away on a shaded porch near the beach with a big stack of tabs, a giant pitcher of gin & tonics, and a big bag of candy. Yes, we're a damn fool for candy. It's a bad habit Sister Woman hates–she's in the teeth bizness–but one we can not seem to break.

Anyhoo, according to listing information, the interior spaces include a trio of parlors with wood floors distressed by age, a dining room, window wrapped sun room, and a huge, funky eat-in kitchen with a turqwaze and black tile pattern painted on to the wood floor. The laminate counter tops have an unfortunate swirly, cream and rose colored pattern, the beat up cabinetry that is supposed to look old and charming just looks to Your Mama like it's seen its better days, the Sub-Zero fridge has a chalk-board front, and above the commercial style range hangs, we are mortified to see, a pot rack that looks all kinds of hungry to clank some unsuspecting water boiler on the damn head.

Presumably, many if not most of the cottage/mansion's 11 bedrooms are situated on the second floor. Also on the second floor is a huge deck, part of which is covered, that overlooks the back yard. Another long deck runs along one side of the main floor at the back of the house and steps down the in ground heated swimming pool that too is surrounded by decking.

Even more deckingwraps around a small blue wooden building–let's call it a quaint little pool house with French doors and 9-over-1 panel sash windows–and around to where a very 1970s looking round hot tub has been sunk into the deck. The grounds also include wide swathes of lawn, mature plantings and shade trees, a guest house and a recording studio.

The unassuming, quirky, and unpretentious property–if anything in the Hamptons that cost more than seven million clams can be considered unpretentious–was sold by a British born but New York City based fashion designer and her rock and roll drummer huzband. While we always appreciate a home that genuinely looks and feels of its owner–and we do appreciate that this house does look and feel of its former owner–we don't care for the particulars, in this case a wildly eclectic hippy-dippy beach house meets Shabby Chic meets English country house meets city sophisticate day-core. However, it's really of no use speaking on it because Your Mama has to (hope, pray and) assume that the Hargitay-Hermanns have brought or will bring in their own nice, gay decorator and maybe even a smart architect to put their own spin on the interior spaces.

The real estate whereabouts of Miz Hargitay and Mister Hermann are oft reported on and speculated about. We're not sure how much light we can throw down on the matter but here's what Your Mama knows.

In October of 2007, Miz Hargitay and Mister Hermann unloaded their 2,500 square foot Jeffrey Bilhuber designed TriBeCa penthouse at 19 Beach Street for $5,100,000 and quickly laid out $7,000,000 for a 4,817 square foot penthouse pad in the then newly converted O'Neill Building on bizzy, wide, and loud Sixth Avenue in New York City's Chelsea neighborhood.

Eight or so months later, after learning their toddler got into a swank school on the Upper East Side, the peripatetic pair hoisted the 3 bedroom and 3.5 pooper doo-plex digs at the O'Neill Building back on the market with an asking price of $8,250,000. A few months later, in October of 2008, just one year after moving in, the Hargitay's packed their bags, strapped their baby on their back, and moved back out having sold their corner unit aerie for $8,150,000 to a New York City property mogul.

There was chatter among the celebrity real estate gossips back at that time that the Hargitay-Hermanns were either looking to move uptown–closer to their tykes pricey institution of learning–or to one of the leafy and expensive enclaves in Westchester County just to the north of New York City. Honestly bunnies, we don't have a clue where the Hargitay-Hermanns went but iffin Chelsea was too far for their child to commute to toddler school, then Westchester County might as well be the damn moon, you know?

listing photos: Sotheby's International Realty

ScarJo and RyRey Snatch Up a Mid-Century Modern

BUYER: Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds
LOCATION: Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $2,900,000
SIZE: 2,835 square feet, 2 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Last month all the celebrity real estate gossips were a-twitter and agog about how ever more unlucky in real estate actress Scarlett Johansson (Iron Man, Vicky Cristina Barcelona, Lost In Translation) lost her shirt, her skirt and her Agent Provocateur panties when she sold her big 0l' Mediterranean style bachelorette pad in Los Angeles at a loss in excess of $3,000,000.

That's right puppies, Miss Johansson had a perfectly good if not great 7 bedroom and 7 pooper mansion in Los Angeles, CA that she bought in May of 2007 for $7,000,000. Two years later the curvy actress caught a case of The Real Estate Fickle so bad that she was compelled to sell the house for an even-steven $4,000,000, a stunning three million dollar bang to her bank accounts not counting renovation costs and the fat real estate fees. Of course Your Mama don't know a lemon from a coffee pot but given that this wasn't the first time Miss Johansson sold a property at a loss Your Mama has to wonder if the woman is just a financial fruit bat or if there something more purposeful and clever at play like maybe she needed the gigantic write off for her her taxes.

Anyhoo and whatever the case, sell at a huge loss she did and now word is starting to slip-slide down the real estate gossip grapevine that Miss Johansson and her well-formed if a bit too ripped actor man-mate Ryan Reynolds have shelled out a few million smackers for a new house just a couple hills over from the one she just sold at an airplane hangar sized loss.

According to several of Your Mama's better connected sources ScarJo and RyRey recently closed on a mid-century modern style house designed in 1968 by noted southern California architects Buff & Hensman. The deal for the single story contemporary located in the hills of Los Feliz with big views across the twinkling lights of Tinseltown went down last week, according to property records, for $2,900,000. That a person would pay a few thousand clams more than the asking price for a house in today's topsy turvy market is a bit of rarity, but according to property records they did indeed pay $51,000 more than the last known asking price of $2,849,000.

If Your Mama hauls out our bejeweled abacus and flicks and clicks the well worn beads we figure that when the $3,0000,000+ loss of Missus Reynold's bacherlorette pad on Senalda Road is added to the purchase price of the lovebirds' new nest, the real price of their new digs is more than $5,900,000. Let's be honest chickens, these two lookers could have easily opted to stay put in the house on Senalda Road and waited out the market hoping and praying for better real estate days. But if we've said it once Your Mama has said it four million times, who are we to question or understand the wacky real estate ways of the rich and famous?

Listing information for the well preserved property we hear ScarJo and RyRey just bought shows that the low profile pad measures 2,835 square feet and includes just 2 bedrooms and 3 poopers. In addition to the guest bedroom and private master suite that features its own walled mini-garden, listing information also indicates that when originally built the house had a total of 4 bedrooms but two of the secondary bedrooms were subsequently combined and put into service as a library/office space.

The front of the property has an un-gated black-top motor court with front facing two-car garage all of which, Your Mama imagines will soon be protected by high hedges, an electronically controlled access gate, and a state of the art surveillance system. A covered walk from the driveway leads through a small planted courtyard to the front door. The home's primary living spaces face the back yard and the panoramic view. The large living room retains much of the home's original features such as hardwood floors, a clean lined brick fireplace, and wood beamed ceiling. A long wall of floor to ceiling glazing allows for a "seamless" visual flow between the indoors and the outdoors, which of course was a primary objective with many of the architects who operated in what we now consider the mid-century modern milieu.

Situated on the same axis as the living room along the back side of the house is the renovated kitchen that manages to maintain a style dialogue with the original house while incorporating all the modern conveniences expected in a multi-million dollar home such as high quality cabinetry and high grade stainless steel appliances that include double ovens and a side-by-side fridge and freezer combo that probably cost more than a Mini Cooper. The kitchen is open not only to the wall of glass that sucks up the view on the back side of the house, but also the dining area and adequately sized corner family room that, like the living room, is wrapped in floor to ceiling glass panes that open to the backyard and the view that, on a good day, extends all the way to the Pacific Ocean.

Extra deep overhangs help to modulate light and shade part of the deck that runs along the back of the back of the house and steps down to a flat grassy yard, many sided swimming pool, and adjacent sunbathing deck where ScarJo and RyRey can tan their slender movie camera friendly bodies. There does not appear to be a spa attached to the pool which is a bit of a problem. Your Mama does not care to sit in a boiling vat of water like some sort of damn lobster about to be cooked and eaten, but the Dr. Cooter does and a yard like this with a view like that is calling out for a hot tub, perhaps even one of those round old-school redwood types surrounded by ferns and candles like it was 19 damn 72.

Anyhoodles, what if any renovation plans ScarJo and RyRey have for their newly acquired mid-century modern remains to be seen but Your Mama hopes that they'll choose to retain and maintain what architectural integrity the house has. We just think it's kind of nice when people show some residential restraint and leave architectural well enough alone. Before all you architecture snobs get your panties in a kerfuffle recognize that Your Mama understands that the house isn't exactly a stellar example of mid-century modern style or, frankly, even one of Buff & Hensman's better projects. However, in a city where too many people don't seem to think twice about swinging the wrecking ball at a multi-million dollar house in order to make way for a monstrous beast of a mansion–just look what Jeffrey Katzenberg is doing over there in Beverly Hills where he paid a bone chilling $35,000,000 for an 8,704 square foot house built in 1965 that he's knocking down in order to build his own gargantuan Barbie Dream House–it's just nice to preserve some properties for the architectural record books.

Property records and about a bazillion reports reveal that prior to Miss Johansson becoming Missus Reynolds, she laid out $2,100,000 for a midtown Manhattan penthouse pied a terre that measures a modest 1,270 square feet and includes 2 bedrooms, 2 poopers, and a large terrace with glittery city views. At the time of the purchase it was was widely rumored and oft reported that ScarJo went prowling for a penthouse apartment because the immediate neighbors around the West Village apartment she was leasing at the time were all bent out of shape about her constant cigarette smoking.

There have been a myriad of recent reports that ScarJo and RyRey bought a cruddy little farmette somewhere in Louisiana that they're renovating with an eye towards eco-friendly things like a solar electrical system but honestly butter beans, we don't know nuthin' about that. Maybe they did and maybe they didn't.

listing photos: Deasy Penner & Partners

Keith and Kidman Get a New Krib in Manhattan

BUYER: Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban
LOCATION: New York City, NY
PRICE: $10,000,000
SIZE: 3,248 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 3.5 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Word on the celebrity real estate street is that bizzy as a beaver Oscar winning Aussie actress Nicole Kidman (Nine, Bewitched, Cold Mountain, The Hours) and her Grammy award winning country-pop music crooning huzband Keith Urban are moving into the same high profile New York City building as the Dolce and Gabbana boys.

Last fall it was widely reported here, there, and everywhere that smooth pated Italian fashion queen Domenico Dolce, through a trust, forked over a blistering $29,500,000 to purchase two doo-plex penthouse units of the critically acclaimed Annabelle Selldorf designed building recently erected on the corner of 11th Avenue and West 24th Street, at the edge of the heart of the Chelsea Arts District and across the street from the Gagosian Gallery. 14 of the building's 16 apartments, some of the children may recall, comes with a private 300 square foot "En-Suite Sky Garage™", accessed by driving one's luxury automobile into a giant key-lock elevator that magically lifts the car up to the same level as the the apartment to which it's deeded.

According to the most recent reports, the Australian born Kidman-Urbans plunked down some big American bucks for a doo-plex unit that measures 3,248 square feet and includes 3 bedrooms, 3.5 poopers, and two city view loggias. Miz Kidman and Mister Urban appear to have drove a hard real estate bargain because the puffy lipped actress and her flat iron loving husband reportedly snatched up their new doo-plex pied a terre in the Big Apple for $10,000,000, a figure that our bejeweled abacus indicates is a 20% reduction off the $12,500,000 asking price.

The main living spaces are located on the doo-plex unit's upper floor and include a 20-foot by 22-foot living room with western views over the Hudson River towards New Jersey, and a combination dining room and a gore-may kitchen with folding oiled teak panels that when closed conceal the kitchen equipment. Just beyond the kitchen/dining room, a large study/bedroom with walk-in closet and private pooper has Hudson River views to the west and opens to one of the two covered covered loggias that anchor the eastern corners of the doo-plex . A breezeway–a hallway really–with built in storage closets and a powder pooper links the two loggias and opens into the kitchen as well as to the single car garage in the sky.

The lower floor is accessed by a dramatic staircase that descends from the living room down into a double height great room with two walls of floor to ceiling glass with double glass doors that slide open to glass balustrades that obliterate any visual barrier between the interior spaces and the glittering and enviable views. A guest bedroom with en-suite pooper sits in the north east corner and the master bedroom includes a wall of closets, dressing area and large windowless pooper with teak cabinetry and floors, double sinks sitting on a counter top of imported French glazed lavastone Pyrolave, acid etched mirrors, separate glass enclosed shower, and freestanding honed granite soaking tub.

Amenities in the sleek stainless steel and cast gunmetal glazed terra cotta clad tower that was carefully designed to maintain an architectural dialogue with the industrial lofts and buildings that surround it include a 24/7 attended lobby, key-lock elevators, cold storage for food deliveries, a second floor fitness center with treatment room, Hudson River views, and terraces, and, of course, those private garages.

In addition to Domenico Dolce and the Kidman-Urbans, other owners of residences in the state of the art building include interior designer Jamie Drake, a man blessedly unafraid of color who sold his exuberant Flatiron District loft last year for $2,945,000, and real estate agent extraordinaire Leonard Steinberg.

Prior to coughing up the cash for this new doo-plex condo, Miz Kidman leased a number of high profile apartments including the old Lenny Kravtiz penthouse in SoHo just picked up by Alicia Keyes and Swiz Beatz, another penthouse in SoHo formerly owned by tennis ace Boris Becker and now owned by chat queen Kelly Ripa and her hunky man-mate Mark Consuelos, and another large apartment in the same Chelsea building that Your Mama and the Doctor Cooter once called home.

The alabaster skinned actress and her diminutive huzband own several luxurious residences around the world including a contemporary pile in the same Beverly Hills neighborhood as Cameron Diaz, Penelope Cruz, and Jessica Simpson and a 10,925 square foot beast with 7 bedrooms, 8 full and 2 half poopers in Nashville, TN that originally all us real estate gossips thought was purchased by Jessica Simpson.

Miz Kidman and Mister Urban also own a few plum and pricey properties Down Under. In the summer of 2008 it was widely reported that Mister and Missus Kidman-Urban dropped around $6,500,000 (AUS) for a 110 acre spread called Bunya Hill in Sutton Forest, a sleepy and swank enclave in the Southern Highlands about 1.5 hours outside of Sydney.

In the spring of 2009 Miz Kidman dumped her digs in the Darling Point area for $13,200,000 (AUS) after first listing the 4 bedroom waterfront villa a year before with the rumored asking price for $20,000,000 (AUS). The Kidman-Urbans subsequently scooped up a $6,500,000 (AUS) doo-plex penthouse apartment on the 21st floor of a converted office building with panoramic views of the scenic Sydney Harbor.

listing photos and floor plan: Prudential Elliman

A Shabby Chic Pad for Peri Gilpin

BUYER: Peri Gilpin
SELLER: Rachel Ashwell
LOCATION: Malibu, CA
PRICE: $3,550,000
SIZE: 1,783 square feet, 4 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Last week the gal at the L.A. Times reported that She-ra of Shabby Chic Rachel Ashwell sold her land side beach house inside the guarded gates of the celebrity packed Malibu Colony community. Miss Ashwell is, for those ignorant of 1980s decorating trends, the gal who popularized what Your Mama calls "Grandma Sheek," a distinct decorative style that incorporates lots of white slip-covered sofas, chenille bedspreads, country cute-cute vintage linens, heavily distressed bureaus and side tables, and shimmery chandeliers for a soupçon of glamor and shine.

What Miss L.A. Times celebrity real estate reporter did not reveal is the big name buyer who forked over a few million clams for the Miss Ashwell's cottage in The Colony. According to our wonderfully well connected informant The Mistress of Maleeboo–and confirmed with a very roundabout tour through property records–the buyer is gravel voiced actress Peri Gilpin of Fraser fame and her artist huzband Christian Vincent who should absolutely not to be mistaken with hard-bodied dancer/actor Christian Vincent.

Listing information shows Miss Ashwell's Colony cottage was first listed at the beginning of March of 2010 and property records show that the deal closed quickly in early July for $3,550,000. A few quick flicks of the well worn beads of Your Mama's bejeweled abacus shows that the purchase price is $875,000–a not insignificant 20%–less than She-ra of Shabby Chic's original asking price of $4,425,000.

Miss Ashwell bought the beach house in February of 2003 for $1,950,000 and while we presume she occupied the cottage herself at times, it's well established (and oft reported) that she frequently leased the home to celebs. A few of the Tinseltown hoity-toities who dumped big bucks to lease Miss Ashwell's Shabby Chic beach house include back in the saddle pop star Britney Spears who lived there during her pre-meltdown/party with Paris Hilton days, busty party princess Pam Anderson who is known among Colonyites for handing out perfectly packaged caramel apples in their own individually wrapped containers at Halloween, and the dee-voon actress Mariska Hargitay who appeared for years and years and years one of those damn Law & Order programs and who, according to the Mistress of Maleeboo, took up residence in Miss Ashwell's cottage in The Colony while she was preggers in 2006 with her baby boy.

Listing information and most previous reports indicate the modestly sized cottage measures 1,783 square feet and has a total 4 bedrooms and 4 poopers including a master suite with office area and private pooper. There is also a separate 1 bedroom and 1 pooper guest room that opens into the front garden through a Dutch door.

A lavender lined brick pathway leads from the entry gate and two-car garage, through the grassy and rose bush filled front yard and to the front door. Luscious limestone floors have been laid throughout the main living areas of the updated and upgraded but still rough around the edges cottage. The living/dining room has a fireplace and a wall of wood-framed sliding glass doors that open to the backyard, and the kitchen, all white cabinetry, open shelving and Viking brand appliances, is separated from a family room area by a breakfast counter. It's not known whether Miss Gilpin plans to retain the tired ol' Shabby Chic day-core or if–as Your Mama hopes–she'll tinker it into something a little less decoratively cliche.

The backyard, which has lovely views of the mountains that spill down to the ocean's edge and backs up to media mogul Jerry Perenchio's privately owned golf course, consists almost entirely of a large brick terrace shaded by mature trees and ringed by thick foliage. In one corner of the yard, pushed up against the house in the most upsetting and undignified manner is one of those above-ground, plug-in spa contraptions in which some people–including the Dr. Cooter and his cold-blooded sister Tee-Tee–enjoy settin' in what amounts to a boiling vat of their own filth and call it relaxing. No thank you, ma'am.

Property records show that Miss Gilpin and her huzband sold a house in West Hollywood back in 2003 for $1,367,000 and another house on Bowmont Drive in Beverly Hills in March of 2007 for $5,600,000 but the real estate trail goes dead there and Your Mama freely confesses that we don't know where Miss Gilpin and Mister Vincent currently live.

The Colony has a long, long, looooong history of celebrity residents A short list of past and current property owners with recognizable names include Barbara Stanwyk, Gloria Swanson, Jim Carrey, Tom Hanks, Sting and Trudie Styler–who at one point leased their home to Leo DiCaprio, Linda Ronstadt, Roma Downey and Mark Burnett, Mel Brooks, Brian Grazer, Cicely Tyson, Rob Reiner, Jeff Bridges, Paul Reiser, Jason Statham, Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen, Ridley Scott, Eric Roth, Pam Anderson who is allegedly going broke due an extensive and expensive remodel of her land side property, and media mogul Jerry Perenchio owns at least a dozen homes in The Colony as well as the aforementioned private golf course that sits discreetly between The Colony and the Pacific Coast Highway. One of the current Colonyites is Miss Gilpin's former co-star, b.f.f., and bizness partner Jane Leeves (Fraser, Hot in Cleveland) who has spent the last few years re-working her inland Colony getaway into a big yellow monster.

Like many rich and (quasi) famous types in LaLa Land, Miss Ashwell seems to be on a constant real estate merry-go-round. In the early 1990s she quit-claimed an ocean front house on Carbon Beach to her now ex-husband artist/commercial director David Ashwell, and in May of 1998 she paid $1,050,00 for a inland side house in The Colony that she sold in September of 2002 for $2,200,000.

In August of 2004 she scooped up a perfectly private 3,119 square foot house on Westgate Avenue in the Brentwood area of Los Angeles for $3,170,000. Then, in October of 2007, according to property records, the Shabby Chic She-ra dumped $4,150,000 on a 5 bedroom and 3 pooper residence located just behind the Brentwood Country Mart where scads of stars such as Reese Witherspoon and Jennifer Garner come to shop and nosh. In July of 20o9, presumably after completing a re-do of her new house behind the Brentwood Country Mart, Miss Ashwell sold her Westgate Avenue property to a cardiologist and a pediatrician for $2,824,400 after listing it 10 months earlier with a much higher asking price of $4,395,000.

listing photos: Pritchett & Rapf via Redfin.

Cheryl Hines Lists Not Particularly Funny House

SELLER: Cheryl Hines
LOCATION: Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $4,249,000
SIZE: 4,908 square feet, 6 bedrooms, 5.5 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: It's always a breath of fresh air to come across a celebrity who recognizes that the bottom done fell out of the Los Angeles real estate market in 2008 and understnads that while there are signs of life and glimmers of hope the economy still sucks for most people and the days of buying a posh property and then quickly flipping it for a multi-million dollar profit is, for the most part, long gone.

One of those celebrities with a sensible real estate mind would seem to be Emmy nominated actress Cheryl Hines who a little birdie told Your Mama recently listed her house in the Brentwood area of Los Angeles with an asking price of $4,249,000. That, puppies, is a modest gain over the $4,125,000 that property records show she and her man-mate Paul Young paid for the property in June of 2005. A few flicks of the well worn beads of Your Mama's bejeweled abacus shows that's a barely there 3% gain over five years, a picayune profit for a house in this price range and one that will be more than eaten up by the fat real estate that will be paid when the property sells.

Most of the children should recognize Miz Hines, who once upon a time was Oscar nominated actor Rob Reiner's personal assistant, as the actress who portrays Larry David's wife on the HBO's semi-scripted and soo-blimely executed sit-com Curb Your Enthusiasm, a program on which she's starred to critical acclaim for the last 10 years. In addition to her role on Curb Your Enthusiasm, Miz Hines also worked her sometimes improvisational stuff in a fair number of films and television programs such as the animated series Father of the Pride, Herbie Fully Loaded, Goodnight Vagina, The Grand, and In the Motherhood. She even made a brief, 3-episode spin through the excruciating but magnetic family melodrama Brothers & Sisters.

A few minutes research on the interweb and Your Mama learns that Miz Hines is quite the bizzy beaver. In addition to her duties on Curb Your Enthusiasm, she'll be lending her voice to something called The Legend of Secret Pass, co-starring in a new one-camera sit-com called Wright vs. Wrong with Debra Messing (Will & Grace) and the a-may-zing Carrie Fisher, and she is the executive producer of an upcoming do good-feel good reality program call School Pride that follows the mawkish Extreme Makeover model. Instead of doing up houses that the financially less fortunate owners can no longer afford, Miz Hines' reality program will be about community members going in and improving busted up and broken down schools. Listen butter beans, Your Mama is all for fixing up schools, giving kids a clean and well equipped place to learn, and paying teachers a proper wage and all, but we are not interested in a program that mixes good ol' fashioned charity/volunteer work with the shameless manipulating of the heart strings of viewers. We find that sort of mawkish and obvious format tawdry, tacky, and more than just a little unseemly.

Anyhoo, according to listing information, Miz Hines' single story Cape Cod meets rambling California ranch meets a hay barn style residence located in the Mandeville Canyon area measures 4,908 square feet and includes a total of 6 bedrooms and 5.5 poopers. That breaks down, according to listing information, to 4 family bedrooms, a bedroom and pooper for Yorbalinda the live-in housekeeper, and a guest house above the garage with living room, bedroom, wee kitchen and private pooper.

A walled and electronically gated entrance shielded by tall trees and thick and mature foliage opens to a wide stone paved driveway and motor court that curls around a gnarled olive tree–that is an olive tree right?–and leads to a barn-like two car garage. A classic, farmhouse style front door with nine-glass panes opens into a generously sized entry with adjoining powder pooper. The formal living room–which really isn't very formal at all in large part to the massive flat screen tee-vee mounted onto the stone fireplace where an actual piece of art ought to be–has distressed oak hardwood floors, built in cabinetry tucked into a niche, beamed ceilings, and a wall of nine-over-nine sash windows that reach deliciously almost all the way to the floor. The formal dining room has an oddly located and narrow niche with shelves for displaying the china or whatever, a low but lovely wood ceiling and, much to Your Mama's delight, s Dutch door that opens into the backyard. Dutch doors are pefect for letting the breeze blow through but still keeping the kiddies and the pets from sneaking out and dumping themselves in the pool.

The wide, galley style kitchen has both granite and butcher block counter tops, Viking brand stainless steel appliances, and over-scaled, cream colored honey bee tile floors that Your Mama thinks need a'changing. The kitchen opens into a window wrapped breakfast room as well as a family room where someone left a horrid and oddly located 9-dollar Home Despot light fixture in the ceiling. Uhm, no. We just can't get past that in a four million dollar house. That's the same stoopid light fixture that Your Mama's lame and lazy landlord installed in our old two-bedroom tenement on the Lower East Side of New York back in the early 1990s. Pleeze. People. No.

Anyhoo, the master suite includes a large and largely uninspired pooper with a giant step up soaking tub sunk into a marble surround and flanked by twin vanities. We're not even going to comment or reference our Big Book of Decorative Dos and Don'ts as to the cliché fuchsia colored orchid sitting in the far corner of the room. There are also dual master closets, according to listing information, and a fireplace shoved uncomfortably into the corner of the room in such a way as to make us feel edgy, off-kilter, and in dire need of a nerve pill to readjust our decoratively sensitive equilibrium.

The guest house above the garage has a slightly rustic, Upstate New York sort of thing going on with a pitched wood beamed ceiling, hardwood floors, multi-paned sash windows, wide wainscot cabinetry, and that dead damn fish up on the wall.

A wide, brick terrace, part of which is covered and part of which has a silly portable fire pit that's designed to look as if it's not portable, extends off the back of the house until it reaches a gently curving quarter wall that separates the terrace from the lawn and swimming pool areas. A myriad of mature trees and foliage ring the perimeter of the yard and ensure the outdoor spaces remain quiet and private should Miz Hines and Mr. Young want to have a romantical evening in the spa attached to the heated free-form swimming pool that's half-heartedly landscaped with river rock and ferns to look like a blue lagoon or something.

Although country casual is not in any manner, shape, or form Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter's preferred decoratin' modality, it's always nice to peek into a celebrity home that's not been over-processed, over-blown, and over-styled into a sterile showplace that's sole purpose seems to scream and yell, "Look how rich and successful I am. No, seriously, look at me. I'm rich and my house is huge and there's not a hair out of place!" Miz Hines' house, on the other hand, actually looks like that of regular people–albeit it very wealthy people–largely unbuckled and untarnished from the plasticine glamour that infects Los Angeles and far to often substitutes for actual substance. Can you hear Your Mama Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian? Okaaaay?

Miz Hines and Mister Young's nearby neighbors include a number of other Hollywood types including Courtney Thorne Smith (Melrose Place), 3-time Oscar winning director Oliver Stone (Nixon, JFK, Born on the 4th of July, Platoon), actor Dennis Quaid, and twitchy comedian Gary Shandling.

listing photos: Architecture 8

Kelly Rutherford Moves On

SELLER: Kelly Rutherford
LOCATION: West Hollywood, CA
PRICE: $1,399,000
SIZE: 2 bedrooms, 1.75 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Believe it or not kittens, not every celebrity who makes a mint working their stuff on a successful and long running tee-vee program lives like a damn pasha. One of those people, it would seem, is eco-active actress Kelly Rutherford who recently put her updated and well-maintained but modest West Hollywood, CA bacherlorette pad on the market with an asking price of $1,399,000.

Miss Rutherford, a blond beauty with classic old-school good looks, started up her ladder of fame in the late 1980s and early 1990s when she starred on the short-lived Generations, a soap story that, oddly, became such a huge hit in Turkey that even today Miss Rutherford is still a huge star that most unlikely of places. Generations was followed by several boob-toob false starts in the 1990s (The Adventures of Brisco County Jr., The Great Defender, Kindred: The Embraced) that eventually led her to the cult hit Melrose Place on which she starred from 1996 to 2000. The early to mid-naughts brought several more projects that never quite got off the ground and that Your Mama has never heard of (E-Ring, Threat Matrix, The District). Then, in 2007, the fame and fortune dam burst wide open for Miss Rutherford when she landed the plum role of wild child turned uptight Upper East Side socialite Lily van der Woodsen on the ridiculous and ridiculously popular Gossip Girls.

Property records show that Kentucky born and California bred Miss Rutherford bought her West Hollywood bachelorette pad in July 2005 for $1,250,000. This would have been about a year before she married German venture capitalist Daniel Giersch with whom had a very public parting of ways in late 2008 when she was all kinds of preggers with the erstwhile couple's second baby. The split and the subsequent battle over custody arrangements and other assorted nonsense became so ugly that Miss Rutherford actually filed a restraining order against her now ex-huzband claiming he had been following her, her mother, and the nanny causing her undue stress that kept her from lactating. 'Tis true puppies, or at least that is what was reported in the tabs and on the blogs.

Anyhoo, the warring couple's bitter, bitter, bitter dee-vorce was finally finalized just days ago and, while it ain't none of our beeswax, Your Mama hopes for the sake of the children that the two of them can move on with their lives without continuing to wrap their children up in their dirty laundry or dragging them through the muck and mud of their spectacularly failed relationship. Miss Rutherford, for her part, seems to have landed herself a new man-friend so things are looking up already.

Miss Rutherford–who drives a Prius y'all–briefly listed her wee Spanish style West Hollywood casa in February of 2007 but just a month later had a real estate change of heart and opted to hang on to her small spread where she had lived as a single lady. The modest if not exactly inexpensive property is centrally located on a leafy, tree-lined street and is walking distance to Robertson Boulevard where people like Paris Hilton shop for baubles, beads and other expensive crap at places like Kitson and Lisa Kline and where (in)famous folks Lindsay Lohan, Kim Kardashian, and Jason 'Gummi Bear' Davis go when they're feeling like they want to have their pictures snapped by the paps. Robertson Boulevard, a sad victim of its own trendy success as far as Your Mama is concerned, is also home to the legendary, celebrity choked restaurant The Ivy as well as the Kabbalah Centre where people like Madonna–the undisputed Kween of Kabbalah–go to do whatever it is they do at a Kabbalah Centre.

Miss Rutherford's pretty and admirably unpretentious house–which was once featured in the unfortunately defunct Domino magazine–measures just 1,040 square feet according to the tax man and has 2 bedrooms each with their own updated pooper according to listing information.

The front door, tucked into a puny tile roofed porch, is approached through a lushly planted tropical garden and opens directly into the small living room that features a wood burning fireplace flanked by windows and honey colored hardwood floors laid on the diagonal. It's unclear if the pared down day-core that consists of little more than a couple of matching white slip covered sofas facing off over a spindle legged ottoman covered with a complex print is a reflection of the fact that Miss Rutherford spends much of her time in New York City where Gossip Girl films, if she's done moved on to other digs, or if she just has a simple aesthetic and an aversion to unnecessary clutter and over-done day-core.

The dining room, which looks large for such a picayune pad, has more honey colored hardwood floors laid on the diagonal, a wall of built in cabinets and shelves and a massive sky light that pierces the roof directly above the farmhouse style wood dining room table. Your Mama thinks the sky light is kind of genius but only because Miss Rutherford or her nice, gay decorator thought to cover the opening with a white fabric that mutes and softens the harsh and almost always shining southern California sunshine. Without that fabric covering Your Mama would worry that daytime diners would sizzle and burst into flames the way that bugs do when naughty children hold a magnifying glass over them.

The doorway to the kitchen was wisely widened to pull light and view into the dining room through the pane-free French doors that swing open onto the deck that extend off the back of the house. The small but functional and well-equipped kitchen has limestone counter tops, a huge stainless steel farmhouse sink, and high-grade stainless steel appliances including a 24-inch wide Sub-Zero fridge/freezer combo and a 4-burner baby Viking range. Your Mama loves us some open shelving for displaying dishware and well packaged comestibles, however iffin this were out house–and we wouldn't mind if it were because we are decidedly not a real estate size queen–we would opt to enclose the floor to ceiling shelving that faces out into what was probably originally designed as a bantam breakfast room and we'd immediately remove the sinister looking pot rack looming right above the spot where one much stand to use the stove or oven. Looming pot racks can not, we're quite certain, be good for the feng shui.

Not surprisingly, the pared down but not exactly minimal day-core continues into the bedrooms. The master bedroom–which is only about as a big as a maid's room in many mansions–contains little more than a bed covered in white linens, a couple of tall bamboo nightstands, a small settee, and an elegant Fortuny chandelier that works in lovely opposition to the utter simplicity of the rest of the room. The itty bitty master bathroom was made to appear and feel larger by using crisp white tile and paint, clear glass and strategically placed mirrors. It's a cute little pooper–remember this house is smaller than most 2-bedroom condos–but we're deeply concerned about the proximity of the terlit to the pedestal sink not to mention the danger of bonking one's tender head on the window that opens into the room directly above the terlit.

The large deck, accessible through the kitchen and one of the bedrooms, has a built-in barbecue center with an under-counter fridge for keeping cool drinks and offers plenty of room for summertime grillin' and chillin'. Although it may not adhere to building codes, ideally we'd remove the clunky railing from the deck that steps down into a gravel and flagstone courtyard area surrounded by thick tropical foliage that provides privacy for Miss Rutherford, her children, and guests. The small garage, according to listing information, has been converted to a flexible use space, perhaps as an office, home fitness center, or yoga room.

Even though she spends a great deal of time in New York City, it seems unlikely that Miss Rutherford will pull up her real estate roots entirely in Los Angeles. She is, after all, from Southern California and, as far as we know, her ex-husband and baby-daddy Daniel Giersch still resides in Los Angeles and he has court ordered visitation with the kids.

Speaking of the ex-husband and baby daddy Daniel Giersch, he too has a house on the market. Before the couple went splitsville, they embarked on a massive, multi-million dollar eco-friendly renovation of a home in Bel Air that according to listing information contains 3 bedroom and 4 pooper and "sustainable, non toxic, eco-friendly timeless elements including but not limited to custom floor to ceiling aluminum doors, Turkish limestone, onyx, elephant leather flooring, silk curtains & furniture, slate roof & copper gutters. The lush greenscape is supplied by a gray water system." Well, the gray water system certainly sounds "green" but we're not sure that elephant leather flooring is a particularly environmentally friendly material.

Mister Giersch first listed the very privately situated Bel Air property in May of 2010 with an asking price of $4,850,000. A million dollar chop in early June brought the asking price down to $3,850,000. That seemed to do the trick because just weeks later the property went into contract and is fixin' to close any day now.

Now that Miss Rutherford and Mister Giersch will soon be decamping to new digs not infused with the (bad) energy of the other, perhaps their family feud will come to an end and they'll each find a peaceful, quiet and pap free space to make their own.