K.W.I.D. / Kelly Wearstler Interior Design

SELLER: Kelly Wearstler
LOCATION: 317 N. Kings Road, Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $1,595,000
SIZE: 1,676 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Rare opportunity to purchase internationally renowned and published designer's personal retreat. Charming front yard gated and hedged for total privacy. No expense spared with the finest surfaces and finishes throughout. Creative use of space with endless possibilities. Professionals home office perfect for live/work.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Children, the folks over at Curbed LA and the funny man at The Gilded Moose talked about this house last week, but Your Mama can not resist working this one through our own grist mill. This property has been for sale for a very long time, and despite the big reputation and hawtness of Kelly Wearstler, no one seems to want to buy the poor thing.

Most of you will probably know her name from being on judge on the Bravo TV show Top Design. Not only is this a great show because of all the bitchy shenanigans that go down between the lackluster contestants, the primary reason Your Mama tunes in to this program is to see what sort of crazy get up and hair-don't Miz Kelly Wearstler will be sporting from week to week.

Did the children note a couple weeks ago when she had all the crimped hair sticking up all over like she'd fried herself in an eck-lectric socket? What about that outfit with the mauve evening gown on top of a t-shirt and grey jeans. What made her do that? We applaud her exuberance for fashion and her creative combinations, but she might want to step back and look in the mirror before she gets in front of the camera. And who in the wold is doing that hair? Is that the work of Jonathan Antin?

The first thing we would like the children to know about this house is that it is no longer the home of Miz Wearstler. It's her office and headquarters of the "internationally renowned" K.W.I.D. (Kelly Wearstler Interior Design). At one time Missy probably did live here since she purchased the place back when she was a single gal in 1999. Ladies and gay gents, she paid $369,000 for this house. Which means if she gets near her asking price, she's going to pocket a million clams. That should tell you something about the real estate market in Los Angeles in the last four or five years.

For the record, Miz Wearstler and her extensive wardrobe now live up in Bev Hills on N. Hillcrest in a much more impressive 7,028 square foot house. This would be just a few doors down from Jennifer Anniston's new place. She lives in the gated and dee-luxe modern monster with her huzband Brad Korzen, the very successful CEO of the Kor Group, a real estate and resort development operation. Miz Wearstler has made a lot of money working for her man having done the design work for the Viceroy Hotels (Santa Monica and Palm Springs), Maison 140 and Avalon, both in Bev Hills, just to name a few. Your Mama is never one to shout down a little nepotism or keeping it in the family, so good for these two being able to work and make oodles of money together.

Anyhoo, back to the K.W.I.D offices just north of Melrose. Let's begin with the hedge. We like it. But then again Your Mama likes a tended garden, if you know what we're saying. We also appreciate the extreme privacy the hedge affords. We may not be famous, but we do not want or need the neighbors poking their heads over the front fence asking me and the Dr. Cooter to borrow some sugar or take in their mail while they go on some cockamamie vacation we do not want to hear about when they return. Better to just block those neighbor bitches out.

The front landscaping we appreciate for its easy maintenance. The stepping stones...at first we did not like them, but upon further consideration, we find them whimsical and unexpected. So we'd leave 'em.

Your Mama is guessing, but we think that red room is Miz Wearstler's inner sanctum. We're sorry gurl, but this room is ugly. You're a talented designer and Your Mama appreciates your eclectic and glammy style, but this room is a mess. We are also not fond of the pickled paneling in the stair hall.

We're in agreement with our pal at The Gilded Moose in regards to the kitchen. It's refreshing to see a kitchen that has not been over-worked and over-done like Miz Wearstler's hair. We do note the luxe Carrara marble counters and think they serve as a nice balance to the vintage drainboard. Although it's really rather cliche anymore, we also appreciate that Miz Wearstler has removed the overhead cabinet doors. Opening and closing those things is just a waste of time and energy. Who needs a work out getting a pretty green glass out of the cabinet for our mid-morning Bloody Mary?

And what's with all the orchids? Why do design and decor people always think having orchids around is so cool? It's not. It's an old played out idea that Your Mama would like to see go away. Someone please put a cactus or a damn creeping charlie up in the house.

Here's what Your Mama has to say about the bathroom: You can dress it up with shiny mirrors, funky wallpaper, and a chandelier, but it's still the room where Miz Wearstler lifts her dress up and takes a crap.

We're sure that Miz Wearstler is busting out the seams of this house now that she is a world famous decorator. So somebody, please buy this place so the gurl can move into a space more befitting of her international status.

Sources: The Gilded Moose, Curbed LA