Monday, September 22, 2008

Scott Weiland Is Flipping Out in Sherman Oaks

SELLERS: Scott Weiland and Mary Forsberg
LOCATION: Sutton Street, Sherman Oaks, CA
PRICE: $2,250,000
SIZE: 3,399 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: ...Spacious & bright 3 bedrooms, 3.5 baths and separate detached guest house with full bath. Chic and lavishly upgraded to perfection. Gourmet kit w/ premium S/S/ appliances. Luxurious master retreat w/ huge walk-in closet & spa like master bath with fireplace. Priv. backyard features swimmers pool, outdoor deck and large grassy area. Expansive outdoor living area w/ exceptional park-like grounds designed for entertaining.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Recently rehabbed Stone Temple Pilots/Velvet Revolver lead singer Scott Weiland and his model mate Mary Forsberg have put their Sherman Oaks house on the market with an asking price of $2,250,000. Does this mean that the notoriously volatile and reportedly bi-polar parents of two have finally decided to go splitsville, or are they just looking for a little more square footage for their over-sized and well publicized emotional outbursts?

Property records show the comely couple only purchased the Sutton Street property from the very bizzy and tiny nosed actress Lindsay Price (Lipstick Jungle, Pepper Dennis, Beverly Hills 90210) in March of 2007 for $2,100,000. This was right about the same time the Missus Weiland went all kinds of crazy and got herself picked up by the po-po for setting fire to thousands of dollars worth of Mister Weiland's wardrobe on the front lawn of their damn house. It's unclear to Your Mama whether the sartorial bonfire took place at this house on Sutton Street or, as some reports indicated, at another residence a few miles away Toluca Lake.

Perhaps it should come as no surprise that listing information for the Weiland's 3,399 square foot three bedroom house is a wee bit confusing when it comes to determining the number of bathrooms. In the summary of the property three bathrooms are listed and in the description of the house it says 3.5 bathrooms plus and additional pooper in a detached guest unit. So for the sake of argument and until we hear from the Weiland's terlit gurl, let's just say there are between 3 and 4.5 bathrooms.

The interior day-core of the Weiland residence, which include living and dining rooms as well as a large white kitchen and family room space, appear to have been all done up and did over in a Kelly Wearstler Hollywood Regency style. However, we sincerely doubt that Miz Wearstler is actually responsible for this hot mess because if she was it would be, well, better. And she certainly would have known better than to hang that too tiny crystal chandelier in a dining room aching for something large and dramatic.

As a side note, are the children loving watching that Top Design program on the boob-toob as much as Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter? We could care less what all those high-drama design queens are doing with their cubicles and bunkers, we just wanna see what kind of high-larious outfit and cockamamie coiffure Miz Wearstler is gonna show up with. If the executives at Bravo were smart, they'd get rid of all those wannabe Martha Stewarts and just film Miz Wearstler wandering around on a sound stage dressed like a damn peacock, picking at her nails and squinting at dust bunnies. Even better put her in a room with that dee-lishusly mean Nina Garcia ladee from Project Runway and see which bee-hawtcha is left standing at the end of the day. Now that would be some good damn reality television.

But we digress. Not only are both of the Weilands reported to be bi-polar, so is the exterior of this house. The front facade appears to be some sort of quasi-faux Mediterranean tract house with arched windows and some very complicated and visually perplexing iron balustrades, while the rear facade presents a more mid-century modern vibe with a simple hip roof and a large wall of windows overlooking the back yard swimming pool and the park like grounds beyond. We imagine the Weiland's gardener curses them every week while he's having to maneuver the mower around those boulders set smack in the middle of the lawn.

A few flicks of the well worn bead on our bejeweled abacus reveal that the troubled twosome are likely to lose a few shekels on this real estate transaction, partick when you consider carrying costs.

Property records show that in June of 2008 Mister Weiland forked over $1,300,000 for a much more modest house on Ethel Street in a much less expensive section Sherman Oaks.

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