Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Kevin Nealon Lists Country Cute Cottage at the Beach

SELLER: Kevin Nealon and Susan Yeagley
LOCATION: 8th Street, Manhattan Beach, CA
PRICE: $3,250,000
SIZE: 2,141 square feet, 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: This charming walk-street beach cottage in a rare Manhattan Beach Sand Section gem!...Relaxing ocean views...Remodeled two-story beach cottage...3 bedrooms & 2 baths...1 bed & 1 bath guest house (features a full kitchen, laundry and separate seating area) could be a bachelor rental...

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: A couple of weeks ago Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter penned up our mean ol' pussy Sugar in the kitchen where she can not shred the chesterfield, piled our long bodied bitches into the big BMW and headed down to Manhattan Beach, CA where Cuzzin Cooter and his beautiful, blond and very tan wifey recently bought a dee-voon contemporary crib just a few blocks from the beach. Ever since then, and even though the traffic is in Manhattan Beach would drive Your Mama to murder, we've been having a bit of a fantasy about living close enough to the ocean that we could easily and quickly stroll to the sand even if we were wobbly on our pins after downing and entire pitcher of gin and tonics.

In our search through properties we cannot afford along the narrow and high-priced streets of Manhattan Beach, we came across a bright yellow, country cute cottage on 8th Street that's just half a block from the sand and, as it turns out, owned by actor/comedian Kevin Nealon and his acktress wifey Susan Yeager whom we have never heard of but has appeared on numerous tee-vee programs including Reno 911, 'Til Death and The Sarah Silverman Program. Listing information reveals the couple listed the property for sale in early May of 2009 with an asking price of $3,250,000.

Property records show Mister Nealon and his first wife Linda Dupree purchased the property for $1,100,000 in March of 1999. This would have been about the time Mister Nealon left the cast of Saturday Night Live and started a long trek through tee-vee and movie drek that included roles in supposed to be funny but very forgettable films like Little Nicky, Anger Management, Daddy Day Care and Grandma's Boy.

Finally in 2003, after the first wife was sent packing and before the new one moved in, Mister Nealon nabbed a recurring role on the sitcom Still Standing which led to his supporting role on Weeds, the soo-blime boob-toob program on which he flawlessly plays Doug Wilson, a broken down and sex obsessed pothead/crooked city councilman/deadbeat dad in a most dee-lishusly artless manner.

Anyoo, according to a recent report on Manhattan Beach Confidential, Mister Nealon's near the beach bungalow sits right up next door to the house used for the filming of Weeds, not a bad commute if you can get it. Your Mama hopes Mister and Missus Nealon charged Showtime a small fortune leasing their front yard and kitchen to the craft services people.

Listing information shows the two-unit property stretches between two streets. The main house faces a walk street (meaning there are no cars) and includes 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms while a studio-style guest house rides atop the detached garage which faces a street on which, it should be obvious, cars are allowed else ways how would they get in the damn garage?

While Your Mama would chop off both of the Doctor Cooter's big toes (and maybe even a pinky finger) to live this close to the beach, white picket fences, rose bushes, non-functional shutters and flower boxes are not our particular architectural cup of tea. None the less, the charm of the Nealon/Yeagley residence is not lost on Your Mama and we recognize that there are many folks who dream of living in a house that reminds them of their ideal version of Grandma's house.

The good sized living room includes honey colored wood floors, two bay windows that flank the front door, and a wood burning fireplace that has sooted up the mantel. Fortunately the bone chilling flesh colored paint on the walls is easily swapped out for a less offensive color and that horrid baby rocker/nursing chair will be hauled away with the rest of Mister and Missus Nealon's Shabby Chic meets Tommy Bahamas day-core.

While the kitchen is not finished to our liking (and prominently features a pernicious pot rack), we do appreciate the relatively large size–this is, after all, a fairly small house–as well as the small work island for chopping veggies, the Wolf brand range and the built in wine refrigerator because, you know, the Dr. Cooter loves him his wine.

Upstairs, according to listing information, the master bedroom opens up to the second floor balcony that has a small but enviable view of the Pacific Ocean and includes a remodeled bathroom with custom tile work and a claw footed tub for all those people who like to sit in their own filth. Two more bedrooms are upstairs, one of which also opens to the balcony.

The main house is separated from the detached garage and guest unit by a verdant courtyard with a big ol' ficus tree growing out of a brick planter. At the rear of the property is parking for three cars (two in an enclosed garage and one in a covered but not enclosed spot). Upstairs is what listing information indicates is a legal second unit (with its own laundry facilities) that can probably be rented for a pretty penny to someone who does not mind sitting in their living room and looking into the bedrooms of their landlord across the courtyard.

Property records indicate that Mister Nealon also owns a 2 bedroom and 2 bathroom condominium on Whitsett Avenue in studio close Studio City, CA as well as a 2 bedroom and 2 bathroom waterfront condo in Captiva, FL for which he paid $461,500 in December of 2006.

Your Mama suspects that Mister and Missus Nealon have elected to move house because a couple of years ago they pushed out a baby and perhaps they would like more room for the child to roam. However, Given that Mister Nealon grew up in Santa Monica, we don't expect he'll move too far from one of the beach communities in the L.A. area. But then again, what do we know?

P.S. In 2007 Mister Nealon penned a book called Yes, You're Pregnant, But What About Me? in which he humorously relates how he suffered through pregnancy along with his wife and filmed a couple of complimentary funny bits (in this house) that can be seen here.

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