Monday, August 31, 2009

Miss Lohan Is On The Move

Whether one wants to or not, everyone who reads the tabs, blogs and gossip glossies knows by now that struggling actress and leggings "designer" Lindsay Lohan's house in the Beachwood Canyon section of Los Angeles was burglarized last week. It's been widely speculated and reported that the robbery may have been carried out out by someone familiar with the ins, outs and contents of Miss Lohan's leased El Contento Drive digs. Of course Your Mama don't know nuthin' from a bucket of worms, but from the looks of the surveillance video released by the LAPD we'd say it certainly looks like an inside job because the trio of intruders perpetrated the crime don't look the least bit nervous busting in to the home of one of the most watched famous persons in all of Los Angeles.

It was widely reported that after discovering the break-in Miss Lohan called her apparently no longer estranged daddy Michael who in turn called the LAPD to report the break in. Of course, we don't know who called the po-po regarding the incident but according to neighborhood gossip Beatrice Bizzybody in the aftermath of the robbery Miss Lohan's publicity seeking padre–whose new friends include mid-life crisis having father of eight John Gosselin and the badly be-wigged Kim Zolciak from The Real Housewives of Atlanta–showed up to direct the paparazzi traffic and help little Miss Lindsay grab up some of her belongings and move her skinny butt to temporary digs at the swank and celebrity friendly Sunset Marquis hotel in West Hollywood. However, according to Beatrice Bizzybody, Miss Lohan took a break from a hard day of sunbathing in order to schlep over to the scene of the crime today in order to supervise the packing up and moving of whatever crap the burglars did not take (see lower photo).

Where Miss Lohan will live next is a bit of a mystery as perhaps it should be. However, iffin she were to ask Your Mama, which of course she won't, we would recommend that the little ladee leave the mean streets of Los Angeles and shack up in an unlikely and paparazzi free place like Portland, OR. It ain't gonna happen, not in a million years, and we're probably going to get hate mail from people in Portland for trying to pawn the drama magnet off the them. The point is, behawtcha does not have to live in Los Angeles. While no one deserves to get robbed, ever, it is our humble and utterly meaningless opinion that La Lohan stays in L.A. because on some level she gets off on all the attention and would not know who she is or what to do with herself without it. Ugh, we digress into armchair analysis...

In other Lindsay Lohan related real estate news, we've now heard from several Beachwood Canyon residents, including Beatrice Bizzybody who clearly keeps her finger on the pulse of all things Beachwood Canyon, that Miss Lohan's on again-off again lesbian ladee friend Sam Ronson's house on N. Beachwood Canyon Drive is available for lease.

Miss Ronson had been leasing the house and after all the loud screaming and fighting that often emanated from the house and constant bother of the paparazzi that regularly blocked street, we can imagine that every neighbors (not to mention the property owner) are cracking open the bubbly in celebration that Tinseltown's biggest lesbian drama queens have moved on to inflict their melodramatic infamy on some other neighborhood.

lower photo: Beatrice Bizzybody

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