Monday, February 22, 2010

Sinbad Lists in Horsey Hidden Hidden

SELLER: David Atkins a.k.a. Sinbad
LOCATION: Hidden Hills, CA
PRICE: $3,000,000
SIZE: 5,064 square feet, 5 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Woe is Sinbad. Not only is the "comedian's" career stuck down deep in the terlit of (un)funny, but he's got the IRS breathing down his back, filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy in December of 2009 and listed his house in the guard gated, horsey and star studded enclave of Hidden Hills, CA with an asking price of $3,000,000.

Back in the late 1980s and mid-1990s a lot of people thought Sinbad–nee David Atkins–was funny. Not Your Mama. We didn't think Sinbad was funny when he was a finalist on Star Search in 1983, we did not think Sinbad was funny on A Different World and we thought he was spectacularly unfunny on the eponymous and short lived program The Sinbad Show. Those years were, not the less, his salad days.

Then along came the late 1990s, the beginning of a long long long professional dry spell that lasted until, well, now. It's not that Mister Sinbad did not work during the lean years. He did. He just didn't have many if any primo gigs. Your Mama assumes he did some stand up and his resume on the Internet Movie Data Base shows he appeared in a number of cinematic wonders including–but not limited to–Jingle All the Way with Arnold Schwarzenegger, some sad thing called Good Burger, a movie called Stompin', the unfortunately titled of Cuttin Da Mustard, as well as a couple of episodes of the erstwhile Cosby and a single episode of the also erstwhile Moesha.

More recently, the down on his luck and heels comic filmed an hour long comedy special for Comedy Central called Sinbad: Where U Been and he will soon take a turn on Donald Trump's next season of The Celebrity Apprentice with a number of other has been folks like disgraced former Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich, former pro baseballer Darryl Strawberry, actress Holly Robinson Peete, and hairrific rock star Bret Michaels. It's not exactly where former celebs go to hammer the final nail in their professional coffin–that would be I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here, The Surreal Life and/or Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew–but it's pretty dang close.

Fifteen years of bit parts in little movies, recurring roles on boob toob programs no one has ever heard of (Slacker Cats, Resurrection Road), and a reality show or two do not a mortgage or, as it turns out, taxes pay. See puppies, the IRS alleges that Sinbad owes a staggering $8,150,000 in back taxes and Your Mama should not have to tell the children that one simply does not screw with with the IRS because they are one of the few entities that can and will squeeze blood from a stone. In mid-December of 2009 Mister Sinbad filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy, which means all his non-exempt assets must be sold in order to pay his creditors and, of course, the gubbamint gets their slice of the pie first. Your Mama presumes, but does not know for sure, that the reason Mister Sinbad is selling his residence in Hidden Hills has something to do with this bit o' ugly bizness. We can't think of a single other reason he'd choose to sell in the midst of filing for chapter 7 bankruptcy.

Anyhoo, property records show that Mister Sinbad bought his 2.6 acre property in June of 1997 for $1,525,000. Technically, the house is owned by Mister Sinbad's brother Michael but, according to previous reports, the IRS believes that set up is nothing more than a pretense, a way in which Mister and Missus Sinbad can protect what very well may be their largest and only real asset.

The Tudor-ish style house, according to listing information, measures 5,064 square feet and contains 5 bedrooms and 5 poopers. A long, ratty-tatty tree-lined drive way rolls past a big ol' dirt patch surrounded by white split-rail fencing. This being Hidden Hills where it's not uncommon for residents to own horses, so Your Mama this stretch of unkempt dirt is meant to be a corral or riding ring for horses.

Listing photos are few and just a quick look at the living room and Your Mama understand why: It looks like a damn hoarder lives in there. Or, giving the benefit of serious doubt and best case scenario, Mister and Missus Sinbad have already begun to pack up their belongings and stack them up in the corners and against the walls. Lord have mercy Your Mama would come right unglued living amid all that crap and clutter. According to listing information, the two-story home also includes a formal dining room with fireplace, an office/family room with a fireplace, a full recording studio and a guest house with full kitchen.

In addition to the big ol' dirt patch, other exterior amenities include a large motor court and 4-car garage, a black bottom swimming pool with a waterfall, barn, and a pine needle strewn sport court with an adjacent satellite dish that looks large enough to pull down cable channels from the damn moon.

A person can not swing a cat in Hidden Hills without knocking over a famous person's fat ego. Other well-known residents of the family friendly community include but are hardly limited to Lisa Marie Presley, Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne, Melissa Etheridge and her wifey Tammy Michaels, Bruce Jenner and his kollection of Kardashians, 7th Heaven's Beverly Mitchell, Nicolette Sheridan owns Melissa Etheridge's old house and LeAnn Rimes is currently leasing a house in the gated enclave.

source: Teles Properties

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