Candy Spelling Throws Open Her Mansion Doors

According to a recent report on CBS News, the deep voiced and really rich Hollywood widow Candy Spelling will indeed soon be putting her 56,000 square foot mega-manse known as The Manor on the market.

In what Your Mama imagines is an effective effort to snare some free publicity for the insanely lavish estate which will carry a price so high only big bizness barons, Russian oil oligarchs and Middle Eastern royals will be able to afford it, Miz Spelling recently allowed Miss Hattie Kauffman and a camera crew from CBS News through the wrought iron drive gates and into 123-room behemoth of a house on S. Mapleton Drive in the hoity toity Holmby Hills section of Los Angeles.

Miz Spelling takes viewers through the palatial entrance hall with its colossal curving staircase, into the baronial breakfast room (which Candy Darling says is the happiest room in the hotel sized house), through her bee-zarre doll museum (dolls scare Your Mama), down into the two lane bowling alley and gives us a glimpse into her fabled gift wrapping room. For better or worse, we also learn there are two swimming pools, 4 bars, three kitchens, more than a dozen bedrooms and–are your ready for this?–that Miz Spelling simply can not remember if there are 23 or 26 bathrooms in the sprawling house. Your Mama would bet our long bodied bitches Linda and Beverly that the terlit gurl could come up with the exact number in less than 2 seconds, right?

By far the most interesting–and puzzling–part of the tour for Your Mama is when the Widow Spelling demonstrates how her cavernous living room turns into a private thee-ay-ter at the flick of a switch. Up go the gilded frame paintings to reveal the projection equipment, down come the black-out curtains over the giant French doors and up from the floor lifts the jumbo sized screen. All of which is about as impressive as it gets. Except, how is it that a house with 123 damn rooms doesn't have an actual theater? Your Mama is just bowled over and betwixt with flabbergast that a house with ten dozens rooms does not include a separate screening room. How can it be that in all the planning that went into this house that the living room has to do double doody as the screening room? For a hundred and some million clams? Hunny, no. A house like this deserves its very own room for watching the latest blockbusters, reality programs and Aaron Spelling produced re-runs.

Anyhoo, as most of the children will recall, Miz Spelling will be downsizing into a still sizable 16,000 square foot penthouse at the yet to be completed building The Century located on the Avenue of the Stars in Los Angeles' Century City.

Enjoy the tour children, we know we did.