Thursday, July 19, 2007

Poor, poor, Taran Noah Smith

SELLER: Taran Noah Smith
LOCATION: Madelia Avenue, Sherman Oaks, CA
PRICE: $1,149,900
SIZE: 3,922 square feet, 4 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Great opportunity for your builder/fixer clients. Very desirable area south of Valley Vista. Large, very private flat lot with pool. Some additions may not be to code or have permits. Absolutely the worst house in a prime location.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Poor Taran Noah Smith. His life has become a sad cliche of a child actor which continues to spiral down the toilet. Ya'll remember our young Mister Smith as one of the boys on that Home Improvement show back in the 1990s, right? The boy has not had it easy children.

First he was given a girl's name. Then he went through an awkward and pimply puberty on national television. At the tender age of 17 he was married to a vegan lady named Heidi VanPelt, who happens to be 16 years his senior. At the same time he was falling in love with his Mrs. Robinson, he waged and won a bitter battle with his parents over control of his $1,500,000 trust fund amid allegations they were squandering his small fortune.

But his troubles did not end there. Oh no, children, the drama just goes on and on. The newly married May/December couple illegally ran a vegan restaurant/catering company called PlayFood out of their Sherman Oaks house, which surely did not endear them to their well to do neighbors. Naturally, the city shut them down. Next the couple attempted, but did not succeed, at opening a restaurant on Ventura Boulevard in Studio city where they planned to serve comfort vegan food slathered in a cheese product made of cashews. Next came the baby, and earlier this year, a nasty dee-vorce from his Mrs. Robinson.

And just last week, the shabby Sherman Oaks house our young Mister Smith called home was foreclosed on by his bank. Will his troubles never end?

Property records indicate our young Mister Smith purchased this home in 1996 for $585,000, when he was just 12 years old. Twelve years old and he's buying a dman house for his family to live! The Smith family occupied this house until sometime in 2001 when our Young Mister Smith managed to oust the parents and move in with his Mrs. Robinson.

The house, located in a swanky section of Sherman Oaks, is by all accounts in shambles, and we're sure the neighbors are pissed. You know when the real estate listing states, "the worst house in a prime location," that things are bad. Very bad. The listing for the property, which is priced at $1,149,900, contains no photographs of the 3,922 square foot house, but the gossip juggernaut TMZ has obtained a short video that shows the destruction and sad squalor of the interior of the house. Hold your nose while watching, because the stink manages to come through the monitor.

Your Mama has no idea where our Young Mister Smith is headed, but we do sincerely hope he's headed to greener pastures.

Sources: PlayFood, TMZ, A Minor Consideration, The LAist

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