Saturday, October 20, 2007

Russ Weiner Must Be Outta His Mind Too

SELLER: Russell Goldencloud Weiner
LOCATION: Sierra Alta Way, Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $22,000,000
SIZE: 17,983 square feet, 9 bedrooms, 13 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Villa In The Sky... An estate of this size and magnitude rarely seen or available. A long private gated driveway to motor court and spectacular entry of grand proportions. Entertainers paradise with brand new resort style grotto pool, waterfalls and slide, N./S. tennis court with city views, three story indoor racquetball court/gym, ballroom, commercial elevator, brand new gourmet chefs kitchen, the best 2000 sq.ft master suite in the city, security office and a 5 bedroom detached guest house...

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Looks like Nicky Hilton might be getting a new and obscenely wealthy neighbor who more than likely lacks taste and discretion in architecture and interior design. See babies, Russ Weiner, founder of Rockstar Energy Drink and son of right wing radio host Michael Savage, just dropped his humongous Hollywood Hills house on the market for a ear splitting $22,000,000. And hunnies it's a big tackee pile like only a 17,983 square foot house can be.

Very late last night, our intrepid researcher and tipster Mugsy Fairweather dialed Your Mama on the bat phone to let us know that Mister Weiner's house had hit the open market with a dull thud, all 9 bedrooms, 13 bathrooms, ballroom, and private racquetball court of it.

This is not the first time Your Mama has discussed Mister Wiener's colossal crib. Shortly after we discussed the much more modest digs Miss Nicky Hilton purchased on Sierra Alta Way, the children were screaming for more information on the monstrous mansion next door to the hotel heiress' new abode. So Your Mama got on the horn to our Fairy Godmother and consulted all the property records we could locate and gave a brief run down of the history of celebrity ownership of the property. In summation, the property was first owned by department store heir Ted Fields, then basketball phenom Carlos Boozer (who leased it out to little purple Prince), and now Mister Weiner, who isn't really a celebrity in the real sense of the word, but certainly runs in the same crowds and haunts the same hot spots as all the glitterati and celebutards in Los Angeles.

Listing information for the property offers a long list of the dee-luxe features of the home which in addition to palatial public rooms include a 2,000 square foot master suite, a commercial elevator (because a regular residential elevator was just not good enough), a tennis court with phenomenal views of the city, art studio, library/study, love, media room, office, service entrance, den and a 5 bedroom detached guests house.

Poor little rich kid Mister Weiner's Hollywood Hills "Villa in the Sky" is not the only Hollywood Hills house he has on the market. Over on Franklin Avenue, young Mister Weiner owns another house he's been trying to unload since October of 2006. Your Mama wrote about that piece of work back in late January of 2007, and as of this morning it's still available with a current asking price of $3,500,000, which $1,500,000 clams less than it was originally put on the market.

And, as one of the smart and savvy commenters noted, young Mister Weiner does indeed also own "The Fortress," one of the more recognizable and notable homes on hideously curvy and dangerous Sunset Plaza Drive. That contemporary concrete and glass confection is currently languishing on the market for $12,900,000 after having been reduced in price several times.

Your Mama does not know how Mister Weiner and his real estate agent came up with the asking price of $22,000,000, but information that has been provided to Your Mamas reveals that the unfortunately named Mister Weiner only purchased the big house in September of 2005 for $8,600,000. Now, the listing does state that the kitchen has recently renovated ad there's a new "resort style grotto pool," but we can't imagine those things justify a $13,000,000 increase in the value of the property in just two years. Can you?

If we're being honest children, and Your Mama always is, we aren't convinced that even a massive army of Los Angeles' most talented and nice gay decorators could save this house. Some house are, sadly, just beyond help.

Your Mama isn't really sure what sort of person would be in the market for a $22,000,000 house like this. A Russian billionaire? A Texan Tycoon? A Middle Eastern potentate's mistress? Seriously, who? There just can't be that many people willing plunk down 20,000,000+ clams for a house this ugly.

None the less, Your Mama wishes Mister Weiner and his not so lucky real estate agent all sorts of dumb luck finding a ready, willing, and able buyer. Maybe, just maybe, there's a blind billionaire out there who dreams of using the new "resort style grotto pool" to become the next Hugh Hefner. Bring on the slutty bitches, because this house was built for 'em.

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