Monday, May 26, 2008

Did Brad and Angie Finally Do It In France?

Peripatetic movie stars and global do-gooders Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, currently shacked up in billionaire Paul Allen's Villa Maryland in St. Jean Cap-Ferrat awaiting the arrival of twins, are rumored and reported by London's Daily Mail to have forked over a whopping £35,000,000 for a vast estate in the South of France where they're planning to raise their ever expanding multi-cultural brood.

Hmm. Really? This certainly isn't the first time it's been "reported" that the real estate luvin' super stars have purchased a French estate. Remember back in mid-March when everyone reported that the couple bought that 15th century farmhouse in Eygalieres? Yeah, guess that didn't happen.

According to all the articles being rushed out by breathless bloggers and real estate gossips around the world, the 1,000 acre estate located near Aix en Provence is dubbed Chateau Miraval and has an paparazzi unfriendly driveway that is three miles long.

Apparently Chateau Miraval was not actually for sale. According to the Daily Mail the couple landedon the property in a rented helicopter–unannounced–and requested the owners name their price. Oh pleeze. Your Mama doesn't believe that for a minute. Who does that kind of freaky shit? Who flies around in a rented whirligig, lands uninvited and unexpected on random front lawns and demands the owners sell them their property? No one, that's who. And if anyone does in fact do that, they ought to be ashamed of their entitled and sorry selves.

Anyhoo, according to all the reports and information Your Mama located about the property, the estate includes a swimming pool, a terraced olive grove with 13 varieties of the pitted fruit, and a stream that flows through hidden tunnels into a moat and fills a small private lake. The Daily Mail pee-pole report that the chateau includes 35 bedrooms. However, later in the very same damn article, The Daily Mail also states that there are 25 bedrooms. Information we found about the property (via our research diva B.S. Beaverman) indicates there are 10 bedrooms spread through three houses.

Interestingly, none of the reports we read say anything about the recording studio on the property where The Cure recorded portions of their 1987 hit record Kiss Me Kiss Me Kiss Me, which was, as the children might imagine, in the mix of Your Mama's angst fueled soundtrack back in the late 1980s.

Listen puppies, we know these criminally good looking and preggers parents of 4 (soon to be six) are rich by most people's standards and they make boo-coo bucks when they work, but are they really so deep in dollars and dimes they can afford to fork over seventy million smackers for a 1,000 acre estate in France? According to Your Mama's bejeweled abacus, the reported price converts to $69,307,000, which is a lot of damn money for these two jet setters who already have at least seven other properties to pay for and maintain.

There is the ocean front estate in Malee-boo, another ocean front hideaway north of Santa Barbara that Mister Jolie bought shortly before he and Jennifer Aniston went splitsville, they bought a big house in The Big Easy (that's New Orleans, kids) shortly after Hurricane Katrina, Miz Pitt owns a crib in Cambodian crib, and Mister Jolie's has long owned a compound in Los Angeles' Los Feliz neighborhood. It's also said there's a big ass apartment in Berlin they reportedly purchased last year and Miz Pitt has owned a place in England's Buchinghamshire for quite some time. (Your Mama seems to recall she sold this place. Anyone?) Given that rather long list of private residences, let's be honest, these two need another house to drag their children around to about as much as Paris Hilton needs another pap stuck to her heiress ass.

Your Mama, celebrity real estate cynic that we are, does not intend to believe that the couple actually bought this place in France until Mister Jolie or Miz Pitt confirm the purchase to that nutty Nancy O'Dell on Access Hollywood. Until then it's just unsubstantiated gossip and rumor.

Now go and enjoy the few hours left of this Memorial Day weekend.

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