Monday, April 26, 2010

Your Mama Hears...

...That there's a new dee-vuh taking up residence at the Sierra Towers, the very same famed Los Angeles apartment tower where big shit beehawtchas like Joan Collins, Cher and Elton John maintain dee-luxe digs.

Watch out ladees because here comes Barbarella.

That's right puppies, the newest celebrity resident of Sierra Towers is none other that two-time Oscar winner Jane Fonda herself. Your Mama hears from two separate and unconnected sources–we'll call them Whispering Juanita and Nancy Knowseverything–that Miss Fonda looked at and poo-pooed every single available unit in the star studded building including the $4,250,000 spread on the 30th floor before finally deciding on a dumpy 1 bedroom and 1.5 pooper rental apartment on a high floor. That's right, a rental.

No word reached us on what Miz Fonda Vadim Hayden Turner's monthly nut is, but according to listing information we managed to milk out of the interweb, the 1,237 square foot unit was last listed with an asking price of $5,000 per month. We'd bet our long bodied bitches Linda and Beverly, it's somewhere near and around the amount.

Neither Nancy nor Juanita know why the actress/activist/fitness guru/born again Christian decided to lease instead of own. Perhaps she's waiting for some new real estate meat to land on the market before she pounces on a purchase? Whatever the case Your Mama needs a nerve pill imagining the lobby, tension thick as an anti-aging serum from La Prairie, as Elton John, Cher Diahann Carroll, Joan Collins and La Fonda all want their cars pulled around by the valet to the front of the building at the same time.

The Sierra Towers has a long, long, long history of celebrity residents including billionaire David Geffen, former friend Matthew Perry, proud of his peen actor Vincent Gallo, celery stalk thin stylist Rachel Zoe, unlikely lady killer Fred Durst, rat-packer and former Kennedy in-law Peter Lawford, and swellegant Oscar winning actor Sidney Poitier. It's also where Lindsay Lohan leased–and owned–before she went lesbian, where Brody Jenner (ugh) is shown to live on that horrible and utterly pointless reality program The Hills–we do not know whether he actually lives there or not–and we hear through the tweenage gossip grapevine that baby's butt smooth Twilight hottie Taylor Lautner has been spending a lot of time in the building although he is not a resident.

photo: Pacific Coast News

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