Just Jack's Shack

SELLER: Sean Hayes
LOCATION: S. Rimpau Boulevard, Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $8,950,000
SIZE: 5,765 square feet, 4 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Gated English Country home in great character is located in the most desirable part of Hancock Park. Ivy covered walls and English gardens welcomes you to this absolutely captivating home. Spacious living room, formal dining highlighted by rich dark hardwood fls and French windows. Wonderful gourmet kitchen complete with top of the line appliances opens to family/media room with f/p overlooking pool and patios. Luxurious master suite, separate guest house & outdoor f/p w/ al fresco dining area.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Jack McFarland may have been an out, loud and proud mincer and a major mooch on the television juggernaut that was Will & Grace, but the real life Emmy winning actor Sean Hayes does not speak publicly about his oft rumored gay ways and he clearly does not need that uptight Will Truman's money anymore. That's right children, as you can plainly see from the glossy photographs of the meticulously maintained and stuffy doctor day-core in the Hancock Park house he just pushed out of the pocket listing closet and onto the open market with an $8,950,000 asking price, Mister Hayes eats, sleeps and washes his wigs in big, fat Will & Grace residual checks.

Property records for the Rimpau Boulevard property are a little fuzzy, but it appears that Mister Hayes purchased the 5,765 square foot house in November of 2001. At this point and time we are not sure precisely what amount Mister Hayes paid, but we do know, thanks to Our Fairy Godmother in Bev Hills, that that house was on the market with an asking price $1,575,000 at the time Mister Hayes coughed up the cash.

Listing information for the "Country English" manse indicates there are 4 bedrooms and 5 bathrooms, which is an awful lot of terlits for one man to keep clean. But then again, Your Mama is quite certain that Mister Hayes does not spend much of his hand and knees times scrubbing terlits, if you know what we're sayin'. Perhaps that dirty job is left for a slim hipped and broad shouldered cleaning man with a tool belt full of cleaning utensils and hair care products.

In Your Mama's humble and entirely meaningless opinion, this place looks a bit too much like the long time residence of a couple of well heeled, dignified, and late model Jaguar driving grandparents who know a thing or two about cruising on the Queen Mary and not the home of a rich and famous actor who publicly pretends to know nothing about cruising, queens or men called Mary, oh-kay?

Your Mama means no offense to Mister Hayes or his nice gay decorator man-friend who did this place up because there's really not much wrong with the sensible, Connecticut furniture showroom day-core...except for the upsetting and inexcusable quartet of pear pictures from IKEA hanging over the breakfast table. What in the world is wrong with people's minds that makes them want to put up pictures of pears in the kitchen? Your Mama's decorating lesson #47 is no pear paintings allowed anywhere on any premises

Now kids, fun as it might be and all appearances aside, Your Mama does not want to get jump into the fracas and fray that surrounds Mister Hayes and the rampant speculation about what sort of person he likes to see laying out nekkid by his pretty in ground pool. We recognize it ain't nobody's bizness but his. But, we'd be dying if we we're lying about this inquiring mind wanting to know.

Anyhoo, Your Mama does appreciate the wainscotting in the stair hall as well as the dark paneling in the faux-manly office from where Mister Hayes conducts his show bizness as well rings all his gurlfriends to invite them over for game night in the big green family room adjacent to the kitchen.

The master bedroom includes a fireplace for romantic evenings, a men's club style bathroom with twin Carrara marble topped vanities, a steam shower large enough for Mister Hayes to invite a few well built friends to sweat out the booze, and naturally, there's a huge closet fitted with custom cabinetry.

Your Mama has no official or even whispered word on why Mister Hayes would shed his Hancock Park real estate skin for some other property, but we speculate it could be because he was denied permission to erect an 8 foot wall at the front of the property which would have keep all the queens in sky high heels from peering in his windows at night. Whatever the reason, it's certainly not because he doesn't have the money to maintain this place. Wherever he may land, Your Mama wishes him a happy home and we sincerely thank him for so perfectly playing the high-larious, lovable and gay, gay, gay Jack MacFarland on primetime television.