Monday, February 4, 2008

Jennifer and Ben Out House Hunting. Again.

WHO: Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck
LOCATION: S. Mapleton Drive, Holmby Hills, CA
PRICE: $22,500,000
SIZE: 15,000 square feet (approx.), 7 bedrooms, 12 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Sophisticated 15,000 sq. ft. Traditional in the Federalist style completed in 2008, by the classically trained architects, Nicholas Budd Dutton, on prestigious Mapleton Drive. A two story foyer, bathed in natural light, exquisitely paneled, leads one thru public room, ideal for entertaining, to private, intimate family spaces. Situated on a lot that is almost an acre, the house is place for maximum light exposure and yet retains luxurious expanses of green grass for the lifestyle. Superb!

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Almost two weeks ago, Your Mama (and many others) let the cat out of the bag that Juno actress Jennifer Garner and her Oscar winning huzband Ben Affleck were out house hunting despite having dumped a buttload of time and money into building a not yet completed family house in Brentwood's lower Mandeville Canyon area. We understand from Mirakle Mike, one of Your Mama's many in the know sources, that Affner or JenFleck or whatever they're called by the tabs are looking at houses in the $20,000,000 range. We understand that the somewhat improbably a-list and admirably low key couple looked at Meg Ryan's Bel Air residence which is, according to a couple of very rich and well placed sources, always for sale but never actually listed.

Over the weekend, bazillions of additional blog reports came out that the dungaree donning duo were out peeping at potential domiciles again, including a very modest Venice cottage that Your Mama imagines would be for housing the nanny and not the security conscious pair. We certainly don't now all the homes the not very smiley couple looked at, but we do know they had a nice long look see at a newly built behemoth on S. Mapleton Drive in the Holmby Hills that looks like the Beaver Cleaver house all pumped up on steroids.

The 15,000 square foot sprawler, located just down the street from the obscenely large and lavish Spelling mansion, includes substantially sized public spaces and even more impressive private spaces including formal living and dining rooms, a gorgeously paneled library, bar, a gourmet kitchen open to the family room, breakfast room, a large laundry room with two washers and two dryers, and an enviable mud room with plenty of space for the children and the pets to shake off the wet and dirt and stash the muddy shoes.

Listing information for the property indicates there are 7 bedrooms and a somewhat distressing 12 bathrooms, including a master with sitting room, bedroom, dual bathrooms and dressing areas and a separate massage room. While Your Mama loves the idea of a room dedicated to having Sven rub his strong and oiled hands all over our tired bah-dee, we'd much prefer this special room not be a part of the master suite, but rather part of the swimming pool complex.

We don't know much about these two rich and famous people, but we do know that a house this huge and this spaciously swanky requires at least two full time staff to dust, de-fingerprint, and to scrub all them terlits. Miz Garner is known to be a down to earth famous ladee, but we don't imagine she's so down to earth she wants to be spending half her Wednesdays and all day Sunday scrubbing 12 damn terlits when she could be schlepping young Violet to play dates with Courtney Cox's child and keeping an eye on that huzband of hers that he don't sneak over to the Playboy Mansion, just a two minute jog away.

While we have no doubt that this house is exquisitely done, as it should be for a pocketbook busting $22,500,000 asking price, and the interior spaces are generously and pleasantly scaled, Your Mama finds the exterior massing too large and monolithic for our delicate sensibilities and we worry considerably about the location of the front door. See puppies, the automobile gates and motor court are on the North side of the property while the front door faces due West. This means that guests will need to park their Jaguars, Bentleys and Yukons in front of a series of uglee-ass garage doors and walk their Jimmy Choos and John Lobbs down a long stone walkway to the front door. Either that or they'll slip in the side door and not be treated to entering through the grand and hugely scaled front entrance hall. And it would just be a pity to spend upwards of $20,000,000 and miss out on impressing the dinner guests and all the rich bee-hawtchas in the Mommy and Me club by having them squirreled in the less than glammy back door.

Now babies, we don't have any idea if Mis Garner and Mister Affleck are gonna buy this house or even if they liked this house. We only know they had a nice long look see. So in some ways there's no news here, and in other ways the news is that these two are indeed looking for a big and expensive house to raise up a family celebrity style.

Currently, the family of three hole up in Brentwood in the N. Tigertail Road house that Miz Garner purchased during her bachelorette days. Property records reveal that Miz Garner purchased the 4 bedroom house in June 2004 for $5,500,000.

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