Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Michelle Johnson Who?

SELLER: Michelle Johnson
LOCATION: Blue Jay Way, West Hollywood, CA
PRICE: $6,350,000
SIZE: 2,985 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 3.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Magnificent celebrity estate. Incredibly beautiful, warm contempo dwntn to ocean view masterpiece. Gated and completely pvt, the home has been completely renovated and has high ceilings, large open floor plan. Fabulous media room. Sumptuous Master, large open eat-in kitchen, dining, living, all look over pool and spa w/ astounding head on views.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Your Mama has been getting multiple and daily emails about this high in the hills of Hollywood property ever since it popped up for sale last week. The reason so many folks seem to be interested in this property is because the listing clearly states that the home is "celebrity" owned. Several people suggested to Your Mama that the home belongs to the usually scantily and scandalously clad 60-something actress Edy Williams, who some of the children may remember as the gal who strutted her once fine stuff as Ashley St. Ives in Beyond The Valley of the Dolls. Miz Williams was also famously married to pulp producer Russ Meyer (Common Law Cabin, Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!) and was long rumored to be in some sort of a romantic entanglement with LA based "gangster" Mickey Cohen before he died in 1976.

In reality, the current owner of this house on Blue Jay Way is a little less colorful, a lot less campy, and quite possibly far less well known than our dear Miz Williams, who deelishusly inhabits a vaunted and well earned position in the sordid and seedy underbelly of Hollywood that is rarely depicted on the pages of all the gossip glossies.

Property records do in fact show that the outlandish, publicity luvvin' and ever so entertaining Miz Williams did indeed shack up her bawdy beads and baubles in this Bird Street aerie. However, the boob baring senior citizen sold the house back in June of 2002 to a couple of gentleman who quickly flipped the house to its current owner in December of 2002. After digging down and questioning a number of our contacts and sources, Your Mama has learned the house belongs to ack-tur-us Michelle Johnson.

Don't know who she is? We didn't either until we scanned her Internet Movie Data Base resume. Yes babies, this is indeed the actress who played the oft nekkid teenage love interest of Michael Caine in the creepy 1984 romantic comedy Blame It on Rio. Miz Johnson went on to appear on several episodes of The Love Boat as well as a large number of small roles in independent and made for television films Your Mama has never heard of, let alone seen.

While Miz Johnson, all due respect, may have never quite "made it" to the big time in the rough and tumble world of Hollywood, she sure knows how to pick out a nice house in the hills, shove it full of all sorts of Buddhas and luxe looking beige things and dump it on the market with a big asking price.

The recently renovated 2,985 square foot residence with 3 bedrooms and 3.5 bathrooms has jaw dropping jetliner views and is currently being shopped around with an asking price of $6,350,000, which makes it purr-fect for some stupendously rich and "sexy" LA type who drives a Porsche Cayenne, shops at Maxfield, eats at Koi and drinks behind the velvet rope at Villa.

Your Mama is not usually down with interior day-core in which the dominant color is beige. But for some reason, we like this place. We dig the sleek, if not particularly design forward kitchen. We swoon over the plunge-sized pool and the easy maintenance landscaping. Yes, of course we can see that it's been staged for the photos which gives it that somewhat lifeless look; No, it's not particularly child friendly, but Your Mama does not care for small children that much anyway; And, natch, we'd immediately remove those upsetting Buddha posters in the living room and replace them with real art. But overall, this is a very calming and pretty house if you are able to tolerate and appreciate the beige contempo meets Hindu temple meets West Hollywood yoga studio sort of thing which, quite frankly, seems to be very popular among a good number of the forty-something Hollywood set. Or at least it's popular with their nice gay decorators. Or is it just popular with home stagers?

Anyhoo, here's the thing kids, whether you or Your Mama care for all the Buddha bizness or the monochromatic beige day-core, it becomes somewhat irrelevant when you consider the view. That crazy gorgeous view is the sticky stuff of many Los Angeles real estate wet dreams. It ain't no thang to get a truck all the way up Blue Jay Way to haul away the beige velvet sofas and quasi-religious artifacts, and it's as simple as making a phone call and running a credit card to get a nice gay decorator on retainer to get up in there and whip this place into the digs you desire. But there simply are not that many houses currently available that have this spine tingling and top of the Hollywood heap view.

Also in residence in Miz Johnson's sky high neighborhood are Jennifer Aniston, who has long owned the house across the street where Your Mama hears she's currently holed up waiting for the over haul of her 9,000+ square foot Hal Levitt designed manse on N. Hillcrest Drive to be complete, last year big money making Tyler Perry reportedly purchased the lavish and obscenely contemporary house at the top of Blue Jay Way, and Christophe, hairdresser to all manner of rich and famous Bev Hills types, had a house for sale up Blue Jay Way last year, but it appears to have been taken off the market or sold, although we find no record of a transfer.

Miz Johnson matriculated in the great state of Arizona and was once married to a professional baseball player who swung bats and tossed balls for whatever team it is that is based in Arizona, so perhaps the pretty ladee has decided to go back to her desert roots? We don't know, but wherever she may land, Your Mama wishes her all sorts of peace, which should not be a problem if she takes all that Buddha tchotchke with her.

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