Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Another Hoity Toity Hamptons Hideaway

SELLER: Thomas Britt
LOCATION: Mecox Road, Water Mill, NY
PRICE: $13,200,000
SIZE : (approx.) 5,000 square feet, 8 bedrooms, 5.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Introducing a Hamptons estate, south of the highway in Water Mill, designed for the personal residence of a famous interior designer. The 3.2+/- acre property(s) offers 3 single and separate parcels. The main residence, on 1.48+/- acres, features a 5,000+/- sq. ft. palace with 8 bedrooms, 5.5 baths, grand Neoclassical-style library, gunite pool and 90 ft. reflecting pool. The second lot, on 1+/- acre, offers a 2,500+/- sq. ft. barn with 6 bedrooms and 4 baths. The last lot, on .72+/- acre, has a 2 bedroom cottage with its own gunite swimming pool.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Earlier today we discussed the Water Mill, NY residence owned by actor Richard Gere that was recently listed at $8,800,000. As promised, we're going to discuss a second hoity toity Hamptons hideaway today that is also located in the sleepy but swish enclave of Water Mill. The Mecox Road estate spreads over three single and separate parcels which combined measure approximately 3.2 acres and is currently listed at $13,200,000. The three parcels can also be purchased separately according to listing information.

Thanks to an assist by our East End aide de camp Molly Motormouth, we've learned that the flamboyantly lavish estate, which looks to Your Mama like something out of czarist Russia, is owned by celebrated New York interior designer Thomas Britt who, as the children can plainly see, really knows how to work a room over.

The inimitable and formidable Mister Britt has been doing up the ritzy residences and posh apartments of filthy rich folks since before the dawn of time and he has well earned his vaunted position in the hierarchy of high end decorators. Whether you like them or not (and we suspect that many of the children will not), his exuberant and unapologetically opulent interiors offer those able to afford his elephantine fees a rigorous and perfectly balanced spectacle of flaw-less day-core. Mister Britt's extravagant handiwork work is often showcased in magazines like Architectural Digest, which will come as no surprise to anyone familiar with that particular periodical which specializes in the outrageously designed and decorated homes of people so rich that most others not in their social and bizness circles have never even heard of them.

Property records indicate Mister Britt, who apparently possesses bank accounts as fat as those of his well heeled clientele, purchased the triad of parcels late in 1994. We don't know how much he paid, so don't ask. But it's safe to say that's it was pennies on the dollar compared to the 8 figure amount at which the property is currently priced.

Listing information reveals the monumental looking main house measures just 5,000 square feet, or there about. Given the imposing and somewhat forbidding neo-classical massing of the facades, we would have guessed the house was quite a bit larger.

For most people the 8 bedrooms and 5.5 bathrooms in the main house would be plenty for a weekend getaway. Mister Britt is not most people. A 2,500 square foot guest house, which has been carved out of a barn, contains another 6 bedrooms and 4 bathrooms and a pool house cottage adjacent to the larger of the estate's two swimming pools offers an additional 2 bedrooms. While listing information does not indicate any poopers in the pool house, does anyone really think Miss Britt's gonna walk all the way up to the guest house to use the terlit? No, we don't either.

Whatever the lavatory situation in the pool house, the bedroom total for estate tallies up to 16 and the bathroom count adds up to at least nine and a half while listing information says there are twelve terlits. Both numbers mean there are a lot of dirty bowls to clean. Your Mama just hopes and prays that Florinda the minimum wage terlit gurl has been given the use of a golf cart to get her big bucket of Comet from house to house without putting her back out humping across the property's vast lawns.

There is so much happening up in this house that Your Mama does not even know where to begin with the interiors. So we're not going to. Instead, we're just gonna leave y'all be to behold and study the eye popping decorative three ring circus that is Mister Britt's lavish Hamptons hideaway. Your Mama suggests that the children come back to the photographs over and over again in the next few days because we promise you'll find something new and jaw dropping each and every time.

Bon appetit!

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