Friday, April 24, 2009

From Corea to Keener/Mulroney to Moore to...

SELLERS: Estate of LeRoi Moore (at least we're pretty sure that's who it is)
LOCATION: Linwood Drive, Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $3,199,000
SIZE: 4,866 square feet, 4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Grand Laughlin Park 1930s estate of exquisite craftsmanship & detail. This unique estate has 4 br 2 ba plus 2 sep gst homes, a prvt courtyard entry to main foyer, voluminous rooms or rich wood floors, walls & ceilings leaded sanctuary style windows, Bo trussed ceilings of gallery proportions & leaded glass French doors leading to spectacular stone loggia. Over 18,000sf lushly landscaped grounds w/ a beautiful pool. Systems have been upgraded including state-of-the-art security control system.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Bear with us babies, because this one is a wee bit confusing.

As we were perusing the listings in the Los Feliz area of Los Angeles recently, our beady little eyes settled on a bit of residential lovliness in the celeb-packed and gated community of Laughlin Park currently listed at $3,199,000. Property records were confusing, so we got on the horn with the always happily helpful Lucy Spillerguts who confirmed that the property was formerly owned by bizzy actor Dermot Mulroney (Georgia Rule, The Family Stone, Must Love Dogs and etc.) who lived here with his ex-wifey, the soo-blime Oscar nominated silver screener Catherine Keener (Hamlet 2, Capote, The 40 Year Old Virgin, Being John Malkovich and etc.).

Property records reveal the former marrieds paid $1,325,000 in April of 1997 when they purchased the dignified Linwood Drive digs from Grammy winning musician and big time Scientologist Chick Corea. Records also show that in October of 2005, before the once happy couple went splitsville, the mini-estate was sold to an entity linked to a charitable organization in North Carolina that belongs to Grammy winning singer/songwriter Dave Matthews. The children will please note Your Mama's consternation and furrowed brow over that unexpected bit of information. However, after a bit more digging around on the interweb, Your Mama feels confident (if not 100% sure) that the house on Linwood Drive is not owned by Mister Matthews but rather by his recently passed saxophonist LeRoi Moore who went to meet his maker in August of 2008 from complications resulting from an freak ATV accident.

Publicity courting love them and leave them musician John Mayer also has some connection to this property according to Miz Spillerguts. But if we're being honest, and we always are, we don't know what his connection might be particularly considering that he owns a modest house in Pacific Palisades and, according to Glinda the Good Witch (and others), is temporarily shacking up in a humongous house in Hidden Hills while he records his next album.

Anyhoo, records shows the house in question was built in the mid-1930s and measures 4,866 square feet with 4 bedrooms and just 2 poopers. Now children, neither Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter nor our imperious house gurl Svetlana are fans of having half a dozen terlits peppered throughout the house. However, we strongly believe that a residence of this size should have at least two point five if not 3.5 bathrooms even though there are, according to listing information, two dee-lishus and detached guest houses on the .42 acre property each, presumably, with their own private pooper.

A brick courtyard at the front of the walled and gated property leads to the entrance which is set into an imposing wall of what appears to be rough hewn and stacked granite slabs. The entrance hall has wood floors, high ceilings and carefully cared for woodwork that include several display niches and a carved staircase.

The long and elegantly proportioned living room focuses on a baronial fireplace and the raised paneling on the walls is wrapped over the peaked and beamed ceiling from which a couple of swoon worthy vintage chandeliers hang. Listing information says the ceiling is "bo trussed" which we think means buttressed, but we're not sure.

A round room with a soaring wood ceiling currently holds an ass-uglee curving leather and wood sofa and what we think is sound recording equipment. We would not stake anything valuable on it, but we think this room may have been originally intended as the dining room. Or maybe it was a den. Or a library. Oh hell, we don't know.

A family room with leaded glass windows lies beyond the living room and the kitchen complex includes a heavenly butler's pantry with wonderfully restored original cabinetry, updated marble counter tops and an almost indestructible stainless steel sink. The kitchen proper has more marble counter tops and an island with a mack-daddy Wolf brand range over which has been hung the largest and most threatening looking pot rack Your Mama has ever seen outside of a commercial kitchen.

A wide brick terrace stretches the length of the rear facade and overlooks the simple, rectangular shaped swimming pool which has been sunk directly into the lawn with a simple stone border. The two above mentioned guesthouses ensure the homeowner will not be subject to the grotesque sounds and odors of fornication and defecation created by over night guests.

According the listing information, the property is currently under offer and we'd bet our long bodied bitches Linda and Beverly that the house will be sold to another celebrity...or at least it should be sold to someone high profile since the house has only known famous inhabitants for decades and it seems a shame not to continue in that vein.

We don't have a clue as to where Miz Keener decamped, but according to Miz Spillerguts, Mister Mulroney also owns a house on 6th Street in Santa Monica, so perhaps that's where he's shacking up with his baby momma Tharita Catulle whose name Your Mama dare not say out loud because we do not, unfortunately, speak the I-talian.

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