Monday, January 21, 2008

The Singleton Residence

SELLER: The Singleton Family
LOCATION: Delfern Drive, Bel Air, CA
PRICE: $85,000,000
SIZE: 15,520 square feet, 10 bedrooms, 11.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: A remarkable opportunity to acquire one of the great classic estates in prime Holmby Hills. This historic compound is offered for the first time, this home is one of the last designed by Wallace Neff. It features over 7 acres, on 3 parcels of gated grounds, which include rolling lawns, lush gardens, tennis court, pool & massive motor court, plus additional parking. Grand entryway, high ceilings, over-sized doors, incredible moldings/details thruout.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Another of Los Angeles' most important estates has hit the market with a blistering $85,000,000 price tag. No puppies, Your Mama did not hit the wrong numbers on the keyboard...it's eighty five million damn clams. Lawhd children, someone get Your Mama a nerve pill and some Maalox because numbers that big make us nervous, dizzy and a wee bit queasy. The sky-high asking price of the Holmby Hills estate will ensure plenty of press and chatter by all the real estate gossips who get goose pimples when a legendary estate like this goes on the block. According to property records, the estate is owned by Miz Caroline Singleton in trust for the Singleton Family.

Who might the Singleton family be and why do they have so much moolah the children are surely asking? Mister Henry Singleton, now deceased and may he rest in peace, was a co-founder of electronics juggernaut Teledyne. A hush falls over the land. Anyone who knows anything about the history of Los Angeles knows what Teledyne is and the huge impact it has had on the science and military industries, not to mention being one of the first companies to successfully develop semiconductors, an itty bitty electronics product that has become a mainstay of modern electronic life and made many men more money than the damn Pope. Mister Henry Singleton, who met his widget maker in 1999, owned several (if not many) patents on technologies Your Mama is simply not scientifically sophisticated enough to understand...things having to do with gyroscopes, degaussing, and precision platforms. If you're interested in that sort of thing, Google him. Or better yet, Blackle him.

Your Mama may not know much about science or the economics of military contracts, but what we do know is that the tournament chess playing Mister Singleton was considered both an electronics genius and a master biznessman who earned himself mountains of money that he used to become one of the largest landowners in the good ol' U.S. of A. It is said the Singleton family owns approximately 1.5% of the state of New Mexico. Think about that for a moment children. Seriously, think about that. The Singleton family holdings reportedly include vast tracts of desert around Roswell, New Mexico where the U.S. government is rumored to test all sorts of scary and top secret military equipment and where many believe many of the visiting ships from outer space like to land.

The architecturally minded children may also recognize the Singleton name because in 1959 Mister Singleton commissioned modernist icon Richard Neutra to design a contemporary confection for him at 15000 Mulholland Drive. The resulting "Singleton House," now owned and controversially renovated by hair honcho Vidal Sassoon, currently languishes on the market with an eye popping $19,995,000 asking price (reduced from and even more eye popping $25,000,000).

In the late 1960s, after Mister and Missus Singleton tired of their glass walled architectural folly and they commissioned noted Los Angeles architect Wallace Neff to design a large and lavish Holmby Hills homestead. The three parcel, seven acre estate sits just north of Sunset Boulevard on the corner of of N. Faring Road and Delfern Drive, arguably one of the finest and most expensive areas in all of Los Angeles. A high class Bev Hills real estate agent that Your Mama spoke with, a ladee well acquainted with 8-figure properties, told us that the Singleton estate "is the best property out there." She went on to breathlessly report that five of the 7 acres are flat, and that the land is "worth 10 an acre." So bring on the billionaires, the Saudi sheiks and the Russian oligarchs, because you gotta be filthy, stinking rich to even think about looking at this property.

According to listing information provided to Your Mama by Our Fairy Godmother in Bel Air, the Southern Colonial style house measures in at a huge 15,520 square feet with 10 bedrooms and 11.5 bathrooms. With at least 25 rooms, four fireplaces and 12 terlits this is not a house that someone should even think about owning unless they are comfortable with having a few dusting gurls and terlit scrubbing hunks around 24/7. And that's not even taking into account landscaping bills so staggeringly large they would probably bankrupt the average American.

The expansive grounds include a behemoth motor court that listing information says can park 20 cars, a monstrous brick terrace that stretches across the back of the house and overlooks more manicured lawn than most people could afford to keep green, planted gardens, a tennis court tucked way and mostly out of sight from the main house, and a swimming pool that looks like it could use a little updating.

Here's the thing kids. Your Mama believes our well connected ladee real estate agent who tells us the house should sell for well over $50,000,000 because the land alone is worth that. And we're quite sure the Mister Wallace Neff did a stellar job on the architectural detailing. However, Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter would never want to live in a big ol' house that looks like a galleria mall in Dallas with a Tiananmen Square sized parking lot out front. Good thing we're not shopping for $85,000,000 houses then, right?

The Singlet

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