Saturday, August 9, 2008

Money Bags Mariah Does It Again in the Hamptons

RENTER: Mariah Carey
LOCATION: Cedar Street, East Hampton, NY
PRICE: $125,000 (per week)
SIZE: (approx.) 18,000 square feet, 10 bedrooms, 12.5 bathrooms

(Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter made the in hindsight unwise decision to push on past Chicago and have found ourselves in some forsaken highway town in Illinois where our only choices for sustenance are Mack-Donalds, some place called Quiznos, the food section of Wal-Mart or the 24-hour no-name strip joint next door to our tawdry (but surprisingly clean) hooker hotel. People with two long bodied bitches named Linda and Beverly and a hoss-tile pussycat named Sugar can't be beggars when it comes to road side lodging, can they? We just feel lucky to have access to the interweb. Anyhoo...)

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: In case anyone has forgotten, renting a huge house in the Hamptons is expensive. Crazy expensive. Just ask money bags Mariah Carey who–according to celebrity real estate columnist Braden Keil at the NY Post–forked out a bank account busting $125,000 to lease Stone Meadow Farm in hoity toity East Hampton. That's $125,000 for just one week, children.

According to listing information provided to Your Mama by Chatty Charlie, Miss Muh-rye-uh's temporary digs spread across 8 acres and includes an (approx.) 18,000 square foot house with 10 bedrooms and 12.5 bathrooms, enough terlits that Miss Mariah will never have to use the same one twice if she don't feel like it.

In addition to the finished lower level that includes a spa and media room, the property includes a gym, swimming pool, tennis court, a stable for up to 5 horses, rolling lawns, fenced riding fields and two separate guest houses where Miss Mariah can house her body shaper, hair dresser, spray on tan technician, nail gurl and clothing coordinator.

The children will recall that last summer She of the Streetwalker Wardrobe spent a reported $350,000 to lease Tommy Hilfiger's ocean front flip property on swanky Further Lane in East Hampton for a month (it has since been sold).

As far as Your Mama knows, Miss Mariah's only real estate holdings include a triplex condo in TriBeca and a newly purchased hideaway in the Bahamas. However, should the Grammy Goddess choose to add to her property portfolio and put down some roots at Stone Meadow Farm (which Your Mama highly doubts she will), the never lived in estate is also available for purchase with an asking price of $19,995,000. If Your Mama's gin soaked and road trip ravaged mind serves correct–and it may not so don't any of you pee-pole quote us–the Cedar Street estate has been for sale for a looong time.

This is not real estate related, but sometimes Your Mama can't help but to offer some unsolicited and bitchy advice: Listen Madam Butterfly, whomever you are paying the big bucks to hem your minis into micro-minis and tell you that you look fabulous is only doing it for the paycheck. Hunny pleeze, That two-bit whore look is done played out and you are too rich, too talented and too damn old to be dressing like this. Think about it.

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