Thursday, November 20, 2008

Justin Timberlake Drops a Wad on a Manhattan Pied a Terre


BUYER: Justin Timberlake
LOCATION: Washington Street, New York, NY
PRICE: $4,774,000
SIZE: 3,000 square feet (approx.), 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Sunsets on the river every night at this 3 bedroom, 3 bathroom loft home offering gracious entertaining space in the extravagantly over sized living areas as well as four exposures, 14 floor to ceiling arched windows, fabulous river views and completed with a brand new lighting package and built in Sonos sound system featuring inclusive Lutron technology controlling temperature, lights, sounds, shades and more....

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: We're going to jump on celebrity real estate gossip Braden Keil's bandwagon this morning to discuss the New York City pied a terre he reported in his most recent Gimme Shelter column that former baby faced boy bander turned international sex symbol pop star Justin Timberlake picked up at the Pearline Soap Factory building for $4,774,000.

In addition to being a rich, ridiculously successful and talented–if kinda cheesy–singer and performer, Mister Timberlake must also be a swell negotiator because listing information shows this fifth floor condominium carried an asking priced at $5,250,000 with taxes and maintenance coming in at $2,972 per month. That means Mister Sexyback managed to get the developer/seller to take half a million clams less than was desired, which is probably a direct reflection of how the Wall Street financial fiasco is affecting high end Manhattan real estate.

Listing information also reveals that the Washington Street loft has keyed elevator access directly into the unit, measures in at approximately 3,000 square feet and features a living room space as large as a damn roller rink ringed by floor to ceiling arched windows looking west over the mighty Hudson River and towards the not particularly glorious New Jersey skyline.

All three of the bedrooms face east including the window wrapped master bedroom which the floor plan shows has only two closets. We just can't imagine two closets will be nearly enough space to fit all Mister Timberlake's sneakers and his bee stung lipped gurly-babe Jessica Biel's questionable collection of premier outfits. Perhaps the living in sin couple plan on turning the middle bedroom into a large dressing room and closet? We'd certainly recommend such an alteration because no one wants to see these two love birds cat fighting over closet space. Also, we would suggest that Mister Timberlake get a nice gay decorator to frost the lower windows in the master bathroom lest nosy neighbors across Laight Street be popping pictures of the pair as they're doing their dirty bizness.

Listing information indicates the cooking center, open to the living and dining room space, has been fitted and kitted with all the latest, greatest and most expensive appliances includes a Wolf cook top and grill, a Wolf double wall oven, a gigantic 48" SubZero refrigerator/freezer, a wine cooler and a Miele dishwasher. Somehow it still looks, well, cheap.

Now children, before you get all persnickety about the colossal failure in day-core, keep in mind that no one lives in this apartment. The unit was staged by the building's developer to entice a buyer. And entice a buyer it did.

Back on the west coast, Your Mama has heard all sorts of whispered rumors that Justin and his ladee friend Jessica have been hunting around for new Los Angeles residence they can share. However we've also heard from a little birdie that Miss Biel is shacking up in Justin's very private 12,545 square foot house on Torreyson Place–which he bought from ack-tress Helen Hunt–where he's been spending major moolah renovating a few of the nine poopers. So who knows?

As for Miss Biel's real estate doings, records show she's got a 1,676 square foot condo on California Street in Santa Monica, as far as we know she still owns her house on S. Anita Avenue in Brentwood which records show she bought in December of 2204. There have been reports that since Miss Biel has moved in with her man she's been letting her family use the house. Who knows?

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