Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Your Mama Hears...

...Okay children, we confess. We didn't hear this, we saw it on gossip Goliath X17 who reported that Grammy winning Barbadian babe Rihanna spent part of her weekend looking for a new LaLa Land crib to call home. We don't know all of the pricey properties she viewed but we do know she had a look-see at at a 5 bedroom and 4 bathroom house on Sunset View Drive that measures over 5,000 square feet, has an asking price of $4,495,000, features a blinding and disturbing wet bar slathered in mirrored subway tiles in the living room, an infinity edged pool looking out over the lights of Los Angeles and Cameron Diaz as a neighbor.

According to our source Mirakle Mike, Miss Rihanna currently rents digs in the hills above Los Feliz. Listing information we were able to secure thanks to Babbling Babbette shows her temporary hideaway on Tryon Road sits privately up a long gated driveway, measures 4,545 square feet with 4 bedrooms and 4.5 bathrooms. Fun features include a media room on the lowest level, Rosewood cabinets and kelly green glass counter tops in the kitchen and a gigantic master suite with sitting area, bedroom, fireplace, and a party-sized shower that's larger than most studio apartments in downtown Manhattan.

It is none of Your Mama's beeswax, has not a thing to do with real estate and since we were not there, we do not know for sure what went down in that stoopid rented Lamborghini between Miss Rihanna and Mister Chris Brown on that fateful night. However, Your Mama is a bizzy-body and as such would like to reiterate what that Oprah ladee–who, contrary to common belief, does not walk on the damn water–said to Miss Rihanna about her current romantic situation: We know that you are a teen aged woman in love and all that crap, but if that "man" you call yer boyfriend put his hands on you in anger and busted up your lip and scared you enough to go to the damn po-po station to file a report, he will do it again no matter how many times he tells you he will not. Real men do not beat up on women.

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