Thursday, September 24, 2009

Dennis and Karen Kozlowski List Boca Raton Krib

SELLER: Dennis and Karen Kozlowski
LOCATION: Ibis Point Circle, Boca Raton, FL
PRICE: $24,900,000
SIZE: 14,985 square feet, 8 bedrooms, 8 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: The monumental 1.6+- Sanctuary point compound complete with guest house and north/south tennis court stunningly commands 604+- feet of deepwater shoreline...Evoking the exoticism of Morocco, the palatial main residence is accompanied by a Marrakesh-style guest house, each opening to its own resplendent grand loggia. Indoor and outdoor living spaces interweave amid the romantic gardens and pool.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Before there was dastardly Dick Fuld, detestable John Thain, and low-down Lloyd Blankfein, there was sneaky former Tyco International CEO Dennis Kozlowski who was convicted in 2005 for misappropriating and illegally pocketing hundreds of millions of dollars of Tyco's money. As a result of his egregious and dumbfounding financial malfeasance and despite his claims of innocence, a Manhattan Supreme Court judge saw fit to levy Mister Kozlowski with $239,000,000 in fines and restitution and to let him spend 8 to 25 years thinking about his despicable deeds at the Mid State Correctional Facility in Marcy, NY.

Much as he became a poster boy for corporate greed, excess and shameful pecuniary impropriety, it's perhaps Mister Kozlowski's lavish lifestyle paid for by misallocated Tyco money that really made people want to scratch his eyes out. The former Tyco tycoon was lambasted in the press for tossing his second wifey, a former waitress named Karen, a two million dollar, week long bacchanalian birthday bash in Sardinia that featured a birthday cake in the shape of a woman's boday and a ice sculpture of Michelangelo's David pissing vodka from its wiener. Who says money can't by class? Anyhoo, the real issues, the legal issues, were not the excessive expense and vulgar display of tawdry tastelessness, it was that Mister Kozlowski allegedly paid for half of the party with Tyco's money claiming some of the guests were Tyco employees. Pleeze. Does this man really think people are that stupid and gullible?

Mister and Missus Kozlowski's taste in real estate were no less indulgent than their hard partying ways. In 2001, Mister Kozlowski paid a reported $16,800,000 to Blackstone Group billionaire Steve Schwarzman for a doo-plex at the very posh, 7-unit 950 Fifth Avenue which is also home to moguls Mort Zuckerman and Starbucks CEO Howard Shultz. Mister Schwarzman famously decamped to a doo-plex at the high nosed 740 Park Avenue for which he is rumored t have paid somewhere around thirty million smackers and which is said to sprawl over 20,000 square feet with 37 rooms, 11 fireplaces, 43 closets and a $5M Cy Twombly hanging in the living room. As fascinating as that is, Mister Schwarzman's toe curling real estate portfolio is really another story for another day. After buying the doo-plex at 950 Fifth Avenue, it was reported that Mister and Missus Kozlowski embarked on an extensive renovation that cost them–or Tyco–somewhere around $12,000,000. During Mister Kozlowski's trial it came to be known that he and the Missus furnished their newly done doo-plex digs with mind-boggling items like a $6,000 shower curtain and a $15,000 umbrella stand in the shape of a damn poodle all of which was paid for, allegedly, by Tyco. Larhd have mercy children, Your Mama would not spend $15 on a poodle shaped anything let alone fifteen grand on a stoopid umbrella stand. And furthermore, who was the greedy decorator who bought a shower curtain at Linens 'n Things for forty bucks and charged the Kozlowskis six thousand? Because that's what really happened. Okay, we don't really know if that's what happened. We don't really know that someone sent their assistant to Linens 'n Things for a shower curtain but Your Mama would bet our bank account that the decorator's mark up on that shower curtain would be enough buy a new Thom Browne suit.

Their Manhattan co-operative apartment was hardly the Kozlowski's only piece of prime real estate. They also owned an 8 bedroom and 10 pooper ski chalet in Beaver Creek, CO which was sold in 2006 to a Texas based oil and gas man for $10,000,000, and they still own a sprawling ocean front estate on swank Squam Road on Nantucket Island which was first listed in 2006 with an asking price of $23,000,000 and which remains for sale with a much lower price tag of $16,450,000. However, it's their massive manse in Boca Raton, FL that we would like to discuss today. Thanks to The Barefooted Mailman, we've recently learned the Kozlowski's Ibis Point Circle estate in the gated, water front community called The Sanctuary has been hoisted on to the open market with an asking price of $24,900,000. The palatial property, with more than 600 feet of waterfront that allows multi-yacht dockage, is reportedly being sold to comply with the couple's dee-vorce decree. That's right, babies, shortly after Mister Kozlowski was put in the pokey, Missus Kozlowski filed for The Big D. This former waitress was simply not going to become one of those gum snapping prison wives who have to get their hoo-hoo searched on visiting day.

One set of property records Your Mama accessed indicate Mister Kozlowski purchased the 5 parcel property in December of 2001 for $10,583,700 and that the manse measures 10,701 square feet with 8 bedroom and 8 poopers. The Palm Beach tax man, however, shows the 1.7049 acre property was purchased in December of 2001 for $3,000,000 and shows the residence sprawls across 14,985 square feet with a diarrhea inducing 2009 tax bill of $230,699. A third source states the house measures 10,701 square feet with 6 bedrooms and 9.5 bathrooms. Your Mama is clueless about why all the discrepancies but suffice to say the house is huge and there are probably more rooms and terlits that one minimum wage gurl can keep clean all by herself.

Oddly and surprisingly, the main house is approached via a wide but short driveway that ends at a front facing garage. We find it rather surprising and entirely unacceptable for an estate of this expense and magnitude to have a front fa├žade that resembles an overblown tract house in an upscale development with a three car bay front facing garage.

The main house is entered through a pointed Gothic archway that opens to a foyer with a high, carved wood coffered ceiling and a curving staircase that looks like it might be fashioned from marble. The interiors, according to listing information, were done by Florida based decorator Marc Michaels who used a warm and neutral palette of browns and beiges...in every damn room. The vast but somewhat narrow living room has an over-scale herringbone pattern wood floor, a very high ceiling, a bunch of beige furniture and series of towering, arched and filigreed French doors. Other rooms include a large kitchen with a particularly large and potentially lethal pot rack divided from the gigantic breakfast room by a trio of pointed archways and a couple of potted and meticulously spiraled juniper bushes. The family room, which opens to the pool deck through French doors that flank a massive, carved marble fireplace, includes a paneled bar tucked into the corner, a billiard table and enough beige patterned upholstered furniture to last Your Mama a lifetime. Although listing information does not include photographs of the private quarters, Your Mama has to assume they are equally and fussy and equally and beige.

Listing information and a look-see at an aerial photo reveals that in addition to dockage for multiple yachts–because who does not need parking for three or six big boats?–the lushly landscaped grounds include a properly aligned north/south tennis court surrounded by swaying palm trees, romantic gardens, a water side swimming pool, a Marrakesh-style guest house and and at least two large loggia's for when one doesn't feel like being totally inside or completely outside in the brutal southern Florida sunshine.

Although we know where Mister Kozlowski will be living for the next number of years, where ex-Missus Karen Kozlowski will head next is not in Your Mama's purview. However, Your Mama does not expect big living dee-vorcee will be downsizing all the way down to the 1,334 square foot, 2 bedroom and 2 pooper house property in Delray Beach, FL that records show she owns in her maiden name of Mayo, particularly since there is some suspicion by Tyco attorneys that the amicable dee-vorce is merely an effort to move his money out of reach and, according to court documents filed by Tyco, facilitate "an asset transfer arrangement designed to take assets out of Kozlowski's name and place them in the hands of a `supporter,' but out of reach of this court and his creditors"

So the saga of Dennis Kozlowski and his profligate ways continues apace and, apparently, unabated.

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