Thursday, September 10, 2009

Madoff Madness

By now every damn person in the world knows that while Machiavellian financial charlatan Bernie Madoff is serving 150 years in prison–karma is a bitch, ain't it Bernie–and his stand by her man wifey Ruth is hiding out somewhere clipping coupons, the feds are fixing to sell all of their assets in an effort to compensate the victims of his malevolent chicanery.

Listen chickens, Your Mama simply does not have the stomach or time to dissect each of Bernie and Ruthie's real estate and decorative choices in each of the four homes. So, in an effort to keep up with the Joneses and in the interest of time and sanity, we're simply going to link the children to articles, photos and video of each of Bernie and Ruthie's properties and let the children slash and slay their day-core as y'all see fit. If anyone care's about our two-cents, suffice to say that, in general, we find Bernie and Ruthie's taste in furniture and art rather pedestrian for people who had unfettered access to hundreds of millions of dollars of other people's money.

Last week the Madoff's ocean front summer house in Montauk, NY came up for sale with an asking price of $8,750,000. According to listing agent Joan Hegner of the Corcoran Group, who must have sensitive eyes because she wears her sunglasses indoors, there are already four offers in on the dated, dumpy but supremely located 4 bedroom and 3 bathroom house and, based on interest, many more offers are expected. See photos of the house here and here and a video tour by U.S. Marshall Roland Ubaldo here.

Earlier today the disgraced couple's banyan tree shaded getaway on North Lake Way in Palm Beach, FL was listed–with Corcoran Group's Burt Minkoff–for $8,490,000. The 8,753 square foot mansion fronts the Intracoastal Waterway and has 5 bedrooms and 7 poopers. See photos of the house here and a video tour of the house with U.S. Marshall Barry Golden here.

The listing for the Madoff's 4,000 square foot doo-plex penthouse at 133 East 64th Street was won by Sotheby's International Realty's Anne Corey and Serena Boardman who not only holds a listing for an apartment at the high-nosed 740 Park Avenue but happens to be one of the most successful real estate brokers in all the land. The listing for the penthouse, which was as expected tagged with asking price of $9,900,000, includes a floorplan which reveals an easily lived in layout with well separated spaces, sizable but by no means grand public rooms, four fireplaces, poopers with windows (execpt for that one in the library/bedroom downstairs), and a wrap terrace that would make most New Yorkers just a little jealous if they'd cop to it. See a large cache of dee-lishus photos of the penthouse's interiors and wrap around terraces here and a video tour here.

Or y'all can go here where there are more than thirty photos of Bernie and Ruthie's homes as well as several of their boat which they rather cynically christened Bull.

What will become of Bernie and Ruthie's somewhat modest condo in the gated Chateau des Pins community in the swanky South of France remains to be seen, but Your Mama presumes that too will be listed and sold.

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