Friday, June 8, 2007

Be My James Valentine

BUYER: James Valentine
LOCATION: Edgemont Street, Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $2,389,000 (list price)
SIZE: 2,092 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: The Steel House by Neil M. Johnson, AIA, 1960. Inspired by the Case Study program, this mid-century modern is a true expression of the clarity and sophistication of contemporary architecture. Sited above the street on its own knoll, the 1-story structure has head-on downtown city lights views, open plan, private pool, and 3-car parking. Private and tranquil setting on a large lot. Thi is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to own a world-class piece of architectural history.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: While Your Mama is a reality television ho who happily tunes in to the mesmerizing Wife Swap and the disturbing Sweet Sixteen program about the snotty teenagers, we don't watch the MTV or follow the top 40 pop music scene so much. We are plenty old enough to remember the day MTV went on the air in 1981 with a video by the Buggles called "Video Killed The Radio Star." This was back when Martha Quinn and J.J. Jackson introduced video after video and Michael Jackson, who still had black skin in the early 1980s, threw it down with his ridiculously hot videos for "Billie Jean" and "Thriller." Nowadays you have got to tune in to TRL and suffer through too much of the yackety-yak before seeing something slick and over processed by 50 Cent or Kelly Clarkson or, heaven forbid, some post-pop-punk warbling by "The Spitter" Avril Lavigne. No thank you.

Well, Mister James Valentine, as you may know, is the guitarist for the very popular, very top 40, very MTV band called Maroon 5. We've heard the Maroon 5 songs. They're catchy and sing along-ish, and we imagine they appeal to hordes of teenage girls. But even more than the music, we've heard all the tabloid noise about the sexual shenanigans and supposed prowess of the lead singer, a very horny gentleman named Adam Levine who supposedly had a romp with Jessica Simpson at the Chateau Marmont not long after she and Nick Lachey went splitsville.

Anyhoo, the metrosexual boys from Maroon 5 were launched into musical super stardom with the release of their 2002 album "Songs About Jane." Their string of hit songs and constant touring made them all heaps of money and they're using some of that dough to buy themselves nice houses in Los Angeles.

In June of 2006, Mister Valentine purchased this house in Los Feliz which sits right under the Griffith Park Observatory. Although property records do not disclose the purchase price, an older listing for the property indicates the house was listed for $2,389,000. The sleek and sexy modernist house was built in 1960 and is accessed up a private driveway that terminates in a motor court with a sleek carport for three cars.

Please keep in mind children that the furniture and decor you are looking at in the photographs is NOT that of Mister Valentine, but the previous owner.

Your Mama happens to like this house quite a bit and we can imagine whittling the day away on the shaded balcony that overlooks the quasi-crescent shaped swimming pool. The walls of floor to ceiling glass bring a smile to our face, but we would need to have them UV coated to protect the artworks from fading is the intense sunshine.

There are a few changes we'd recommend to Mister Valentine:

1. Cose up the opening between the dining area and the living room. It just looks like a cheesy afterthought to open the site lines, and while we could be wrong, we don't imagine that cut out is original to the design of the house.

2. Tear out that kitchen. Although it's been recently done, it looks to us like something that would be found in a suburban or more traditional home. The black granite is just so ordinary and the cabinets, well, they should go to the ceiling. The slate floor can stay.

3. We're not sure if that master bathroom is good or not, but we suggest Mister Valentine take a good long look at that cornered mirror. Does that work, or is it just too 1980s glamour for this house? And we're not thrilled with the black granite in here either. Do people know that granite comes in other colors and there are other products besides granite that are suitable for countertops?

Otherwise Your Mama thinks Mister Valentine bought himself a lovely, modestly sized house with a sexy Los Angeles vibe. We'd live here in a heartbeat. Happy home Mister Valentine

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