Monday, December 15, 2008

Jeff Lewis Is Still Flipping Out

SELLER: Jeff Lewis
LOCATION: N. Edgemont Street, Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: sold for $1,300,000 (listed at $1,395,000)
SIZE: 2,553 square feet, 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Beautifully renovated & gated 1930s Trad'l w/ 4 bds & 3 full bths laid out in ideal floor plan. Chef's kit w/ Viking s/s range, ample counter space & bkfst area. Lrg formal DR. LR w/ fp & direct access to the new pl, brick patios & yrd. Landscaped for privacy. Gorgeous master ste w/ walk-in closet & Carrara marble bth. Direct access from the 2-car garage. New HVAC, new roof, copper plumb, updated electric.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: The house flipping bizness may be swirling down the proverbial terlit along with the stock market and he may be cat fighting with the celebrity neighbor of a house he's having a tough time flipping in Los Feliz, but lascivious lipped drama queen Jeff Lewis, star of the reality tee-vee train wreck Flipping Out, is still buying, renovating and flipping houses in Los Angeles. Or at least he's trying to.

Property records show the hissy fit prone house flipper purchased his latest residential rehab project in June of 2008 for an even million clams. Listing information and photos shows the 2,553 square foot "1930s Trad" (which was actually built in 1951 according to prop records) was given the classic Jeff Lewis make over before it was put hoisted back on the market a little over a month ago where it currently carries an asking price of $1,395,000 (reduced from its original asking price of $1,525,000).

The front door, elevated high above the street, requires that owners have strong ass muscles for carrying kids and groceries up a long flight of switchback stairs from the driveway, or be rich enough they can pay the house gurl (or house boy) a few extra pennies to do so. Listing information for the 4 bedroom and 3 bathroom residence indicates the large rectangular living room includes a wall of sliding windows that open to the rear terrace (nice) and, natch, a giant flat screen tee-vee hung over the wood burning fireplace, an omnipresent boob-toob trend that Your Mama is o-vah. We are just so damn tahrd of seeing a damn television mounted to walls in the kitchens and bathrooms and bedrooms and hallways and elevators and on and on and on. We like tee-vee as much if not more than anyone, but even Your Mama can take a crap without having to watch the damn boob-toob.

The decent sized dining room have been painted white, which we love, and includes a chintzy and glitzy faux-crystal chandelier which manages to create a delicious tension between the clean lined 1940s dining room chairs and the striped piece of contemporary "art" which actually looks like the sort of cheap decorative doo-dad we used to make in our university days out of cardboard and a bucket full of multi-colored tape.

The kitchen and breakfast area have been all did up and done over in bright white cabinets with glass fronts, Carrara marble counter tops and stainless steel appliances. While the appliances are higher grade, we find the cabinets with their arched openings to be a wee bit too traditional for our taste. However, we are luh-ving the honey bee tile floor with the dark band ringing the room. Honey bee tile always makes us happy even though it reminds our usually drunk friend Fiona Trambeau of some of the public restrooms she frequents.

The master bedroom has yet another flat screen tee-vee mounted to the wall (will that trend ever end?) and the master bath features more Carrara marble, dark cabinetry and a single sink vanity with frosted side light windows. As for the orchid sitting on the counter top? Pleeze. We beg of some big name decorator with solid ties to all the slick and influential design publications to declare orchids an unforgivably passé affection of day-core. The children will note the scale pushed under the cabinetry. Miss Lewis, who we've heard rumored is living in this house, must be conscious of keeping his hips slim and stomach flat, partick since they say television adds ten pounds. And what vain queen wants to look like he's got a fat ass? A bubble booty maybe, but a fat ass? Uhm, no.

The modestly sized rear yard has been landscaped for privacy and includes a good sized brick terrace for dining and spreading out the gossip glossies in the afternoon shade. A small rectangular swimming pool, a plunge pool really, with brick coping has been added along with a couple of brick islands where not particularly comfortable looking lounges have been placed.

Given that the credit markets are currently at a stand still and buyers of million dollar houses are hanging on to their savings accounts like never before, it remains to be seen what will become of Mister Lewis' up until now very successful mid-price house flipping enterprise. Whatever happens, we can't help it, we like Miss Lewis and his crazy ways and hope he keeps on keepin' on so we can have at least a few more seasons of Flipping Out to mortify and warm the cockles of our cold, dark heart.

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