Friday, December 19, 2008

Paris Hilton's House Robbed

Listen puppies, we are somewhat loathe to discuss hotel heiress Paris Hilton, because she and her breed of celebrity are so completely over (o-vah!) that we can't stand it. However, the L.A. Times reported this morning that Miss Hilton's mansion in the guard gated Mulholland Estates community was robbed last night and that the hoodie wearing heister made off with two million dollars worth of jewelry and other belongings.

Two millions dollars worth of jewelry? We absolutely do not condone robbery nor do we think Miss Hilton deserves to have all her bling burgled from her Bev Hills home, which is really in Sherman Oaks but has a 90210 zip code. But seriously children, what moron keeps two million dollars worth of jewelry at home? That shit belongs in a safe deposit box, or at very least stashed away in a hidden, camouflaged and well secured safe behind a credenza in the dining room.

The robbery is reported to have occurred at 5am this morning and Miss Hilton was not home at the time of the break in. Wonder where she was at 5 o'clock in the a.m. on a wintery Friday morning?

Given that Miss Hilton's home–which has been outfitted with its own private nightclub in the basement–is equipped with video security as are the communities gates, it's quite likely the brazen burglar will be identified and have the axe of the law brought down on him right quick. Or not.

The break in is not believed to be related to the long string of robberies that have plagued the swank West Side communities of Bel Air, Beverly Hills and the Holmby Hills the last number of years.

Other residents of the Mulholland Estates are rumored and reported to include former boy-bander Robbie Williams, former Beach Boy Brian Wilson, former letter turner Vanna White and former john Charlie Sheen.

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