Monday, June 7, 2010

Madea–aka Tyler Perry–Lists Modern Mansion in Los Angeles

SELLER: Tyler Perry
LOCATION: Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $13,250,000
SIZE: 8,751 square feet, 4 bedrooms 6 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Tyler Perry, the spectacularly successful and prolific writer/actor/director who has made a mountain of money dressing up as a crotchety old woman named Madea, is an out and out real estate size queen. In January of 2009 he listed Avec Chateau, his 17,252 square foot pile in Fairburn, GA that he once told Ebony magazine was a "testament to the rewards of faith" and "what God can do when you believe." Bitch, please. We don't begrudge you your smashing success or vast wealth, but going around saying silly stuff like that chaps Your Mama's already chapped hide. It is just so insulting to all the God fearers and holy rollers out there who spend their entire lives speaking in tongues and tithing ten percent of their meager income and still have to live in a damn double wide smack in the path of a tornado. How are these less fortunate lives a testament to what God can do when you believe? If God wanted Mister Tyler to be so filthy, stinking rich, how come s/he leaves so many true believers to be hungry and poor?

Property records show that Mister Perry has yet to sell his titanic "testament," which is currently listed at $3,650,000. According to multiple and many previous reports, Mister Perry wants to get rid of his first real estate testament to what God can do when you believe because he has spent the last few years building an even larger testament to what God can do if you believe, a 30,000+ square foot beast on 17 acres overlooking the Chatahoochie River in suburban Atlanta, GA. Well, good for him. This is America, dammit, where a filthy rich single man can and should be able to have a house the size of a damn Wal-Mart iffin he has a fool notion to want it. Have mercy and hand Your Mama a nerve pill, please.

Anyhoo, we digress. Word on the celebrity real estate gossip grapevine is that for the last few months Mister Perry and his real estate people quietly shopped his little used uber-modern mansion in Los Angeles' Sunset Strip area with an asking price of around $15,000,000. With no takers, or at least no one serious enough to sign on the dotted line, Mister Perry shifted gears, swapped real estate agents, and hoisted his dramatic digs on to the open market with an asking price of $13,250,000.

Property records and other sources Your Mama can't reveal tell us that in November of 2006 Mister Perry paid $9,600,000 for the sleek and sexified SPF:architects designed edifice that measures, according to listing information, 8,751 square feet and includes 4 bedrooms and 6 poopers. When the glassy manse was built it contained, according to the architects' website, a two level "concrete plinth base" that holds the 3 car garage fronted by stainless steel doors, a screening room, billiards room, home fitness center, wine cellar and a damn disco, because everyone needs a nightclub in their private home, right? Current listing information also states that the boldly built house boasts "spaceship views" and several feats of architectural chutzpah including a curved and mirrored wall in the billiards room that is actually a window into the depths of the swimming pool–perfect for pervy voyeurs–and a glass catwalk that acts as the ceiling of the wine cellar, another potentially pervy architectural device.

Although it is a long, long, long slog up Byzantine and twisty roads, trust Your Mama when we tell the children that Mister Perry's house is supremely sited at the tippy-top of the famed Bird Street neighborhood. The house hovers high above the surrounding homes, some of which are owned by famous folks like crooner Michael Bublé, R&B singer Robin Thicke–that's Alan's son, Fran Drescher's recently outed gay ex-husband Peter Marc Jacobson, and Jenny Aniston, who still owns the very first bachelorette pad she bought with Friends money and appears to still use as some sort of office/storage facility for her vintage Mercedes.

Mister Perry is hardly a stranger to high priced real estate in Los Angeles. The cross-dressing showbiz mogul owned ocean front house in Malee-boo that he purchased in 2005 for $3,375,000 and, according to property records, sold in April of 2007 for $4,800,000. In the mid-2000s, Mister Perry planned to build an approximately 22,000 square foot Mediterranean mansion on an undeveloped 22-acre sprawl behind the guarded gates of the Beverly Ridge community up in the hills above Beverly Hills. In the fall of 2007, after laying down the cement foundation for the big house, Mister Perry caught a case of The Real Estate Fickle and heaved the property on the market for $15,000,000. Public records indicate that the property remains in Mister Perry's property portfolio.

photos: Keller Williams Realty Sunset via Redfin

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