Monday, June 21, 2010

UPDATE: Madonna

Juicy details about the overhaul of pop superstar Madonna's new townhouse on the Upper East Side of Manhattan are starting to slip down the real estate gossip grapevine and into the tabloids. The children who haven't completely ruined their memories with the dope will recall that The Kabbalah Kween (heretofore known as K.K.) splashed out a bone chilling $32,500,000 for the hulking house on East 81st Street.

The first to let it rip with the nitty-gritty of K.K. re-do was the New York Post who reported that building permits filed with the city of New York show the cost of planned renovations at a costly but not unheard of $1,700,000, pocket change for the massively moneyed Madge.

Just what is the K.K. got planned for her new pad the butter beans want to know? To begin with, she's adding another floor to her already 5 story high, triple wide Georgian style townhouse that will add 1,614 square feet to the existing 12,233 square feet. A few flicks of the well worn beads on Your Mama's bejeweled abacus shows that K.K. will soon have a total of 13,847 square feet of living space, plus an approximately 3,000 square foot garden, elevator, a private, attached 2-car garage for pap thwarting entrances and exits, and a sitting room with wet bar for security personnel, hers and those of her guests. At least part of the basement will get a wine cellar and a playroom for K.K. cabal of kiddies.

K.K.s' plans reportedly entail converting the entire third floor over to her private quarters that will include a boo-dwar flanked by a huge, celebrity-sized walk-in closet and a prodigious and well-equipped pooper. Also on the third floor, according to plans, will be a hair salon, a separate closet for luggage storage (nice!), and a second master suite, presumably for whatever young man K.K. woos into her web. All told, according to the New York Post article, there will be 10 bedrooms and and unlucky 13 poopers, which means, thank heavens, that no amount of money K.K. could possibly offer will entice our intensely suspicious house gurl Svetlana to jump ship because ol' Sveta won't even look at a house with 13 of anything let along go inside and scrub terlits.

Your Mama has heard rumors that K.K. is having her current crib in New York, a multi-unit combination spread on the Upper West Side, quietly shopped around for an insane amount of money, but honestly buttons, Your Mama's sources on this one just aren't that reliable so we don't recommend any of y'all run around gossiping about that because the truth is Your Mama don't know nuthin' about a turnip from K.K.'s plans for her Art Deco-fied current digs.

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