Wednesday, April 16, 2008

A Little Mish Mash to Get Our Feet Wet

Our rusty but very tan fingers are going to start with a little mish mash to get the brain waves working and to catch up on some of the celebrity real estate activity that went on while Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter spent a few days baking our naughty bits on the beach.

All the tabs, blogs and gossip glossies are starting to chatter about marital advice giving talk show titan Dr. Phil McGraw and his wifey of 31 years being headed for the court of dee-vorce. Uh oh. Your Mama doesn't know whether there is any truth to that rumor or not, but it might explain why they've quietly put their big ass Bev Hills mansion on the market.

Your Mama discussed the palatial property before we left on our vay-kay, but at the time were ignorant as to how much moolah the McGraws want for their exuberantly decorated 11,036 square foot Mediterranean manse on Lexington Road. While we were away, the always well informed and sharp tongued Kenny Kissentell whispered in Your Mama's big ear that the McGraws will entertain to offers in the $16-18,000,000 range, but that's still gossip and rumor at this point kids.

That number certainly makes sense when you consider that really rich real estate broker Kurt Rappaport recently forked over $15,990,000 for his new Bev Hills behemoth on nearby N. Crescent Drive.

We hear from A Boy Named Sue that the wickedly and wonderfully strange (and well endowed) actor/artist/gadabout Vincent Gallo has finally found a mid century modern en-thu-zee-ast to cough up the kaching for his much ballyhooed John Lautner designed tour de force on Hedges Place. If the children put on their thinking caps they'll recall that Mister Gallo put the so-called "Wolff House" on the market in May of 2007 with a bold and brazen $5,995,000 asking price that had many of LA's architectural connoisseurs scoffing and gasping at what they thought was a rather exorbitant asking price. Mister Gallo later lowered the asking price to $5,795,000 which did little to quell the modernist masses but did get the house into contract.

At this point, we're not certain of the selling price although we were told it was in excess of $5,000,000. We'll see.

While on the topic of louche and lovely Lautner designed digs, let's briefly discuss the one that LA based nightlife impresario Brent Bolthouse has recently put up for lease (pictured above). Located on curvy swervy Multiview Drive high in the hills of Hollywood, the 2 bedroom and 2 bathroom house was built in 1947 and is generally referred to as the "Polin House." The spectacular and meticulously renovated work of architectural art sits up a long drive nearly unseen from the street, so it's the perfect retreat for a privacy seeking celeb with a $10,000 a month rent budget.

Your Mama thinks that if thrice rehabbed party princess Lindsay Lohan had any sense or money, she would lease this place and spend a considerable amount of time quietly sitting on the back terrace staring into the treetops contemplating what steps she ought to take in order to get her acting career back on track rather than make some silly and embarrassing effort at selling leggings. Leggings? Come on!

Getting her $13,000 Balenciaga bag swiped while staying in at the swanky (and pooch friendly) SoHo Grand Hotel in New York City last year seems to have encouraged Kirsten Dunst to purchase more secure digs of her own. According to Hollyscoop and about a million other fan sites, the also recently rehabbed Miss Kiki spent around $3,000,000 for a three bedroom penthouse apartment over looking the mighty Hudson River. As of today, details are slim. We don't even know where the building behawtcha bought into is located, but we'll look into it when we've got the time and inclination.

The newly crowned Hot Properties queen Ann Brenoff at the LA Times wrote her first mid-week scoop about the 25 acre ranch in Carpinteria that the governator Arnold Schwarzenegger recently purchased. For those of you not familiar with coast Calee-for-ny-ay, Carpinteria is located just east of swish and swanky Montecito–home to Oprah Winfrey's $40,000,000 paean to private wealth–and once upon a time a low key and blue collar beach town that drew a lot of visitors from the San Joaquin Valley. That is until the California real estate markets went berserk and drove the price of any piece of property even close the ocean into the stratosphere. So Carpinteria ain't so cheap or blue collar anymore.

Anyhoo, Mister Republican governor and his Democrat wifey Maria Shriver plunked down around $4,700,000 for their spread in a posh and rural enclave of 25 home sites carved from the historic Rancho Monte Alegre in the foothills of the Santa Ynez mountains.

As noted by Miz Brenoff, there are all sorts of rules and regs for the style and size of homes that can be constructed and it appears that the Schwarzenegger/Shrivers will be required to build something larger than 4,500 square feet, but smaller than 8,500. That is if they build at all. Could be they're just parking some cash as an investment. Your Mama guesses it won't be long before the politicos will be able to turn their 25 acres at a substantial profit.

We hear from The Social Butterfly, our uptown amigo who flits among some of New York's richest and most cultured residents, that the Southampton real estate rumor mill is still churning over reports that professional golfer Tiger Woods forked over $65,000,000 for a prime piece property on Gin Lane.

Madam Butterfly says that in certain Southampton circles the sordid scuttlebutt is that the really rich Woods' (allegedly) spent so much money on the Gin Line spread because the Missus Woods is "ambitious," a real Rebecca Thatcher type, if the children will allow Your Mama that literary stereotype. Your Mama does not need to tell the children that in the rarefied and old school social world of Southampton, "ambitious" is not a compliment. No siree bob.

Your Mama knows not a thing about whether the Woods' did or did not buy the gigantic 5.9 ocean front spread and we know even less about whether Miss Woods is socially ambitious or not (we suspect not), but what we do know is that while Mister Woods' people say nay, Mister Braden Keil and the bigwigs at the NY Post are sticking to their story.

Stay tuned for more...

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