Friday, April 18, 2008

Ken Paves Heads For the Hills of Beverly

BUYER: Ken Paves
LOCATION: Mulholland Drive, Beverly Hills, CA
PRICE: $1,965,000
SIZE: 2,762 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 3.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Perched on top of a ridge along prestigious Mulholland Drive sits this elegant Cape Cod Contemporary designed by Robert Byrd. Flooded w/ natural light & surrounded by breathtaking views, this home has been renovated w/ the finest attention to detail. The large split-level LR is perfect for entertaining w/ vaulted ceilings, wet bar & FR doors that open to an expansive deck. Other features: 3 en-suite BRs, 4 fireplaces, brand new kitchen & baths & parking for 11 cars.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Last week while Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter whittled away the hours on sunbeds reading Vanity Fair–the one by William Makepeace Thackeray, thank you very much–and staring out at the azure waters of the Atlantic Ocean, outgoing celebrity real estate high priestess Ruth Ryon penned the last of her 1,300+ Hot Properties columns for the Los Angeles Times. The third and most interesting item in the column, tucked down at the bottom, was a bit of bizness about celebrity hair honcho Ken Paves purchasing Robert Byrd designed digs perched high on a ridge in the Hills of Beverly.

Most of you children will know Mister Ken Paves (pronounced PAY-ves) as Jessica Simpson's hair dresser and constant companion, always at the ready with a ratting comb and a battery operated set of hot rollers. But don't be fooled by what you see in the gossip glossies, because working Miss Simpson's weaves is hardly all that Miss Paves does to earn his coin. The man has also curled, colored, cut and twisted the tresses of leading ladees such as Jennifer Lopez, Jessica Alba, Alicia Silverstone, Avril "The Spitter" Lavigne, Lucy Liu, Mila Jovovich, Eva Longoria, Ashlee Simpson (natch), Kiki Dunst and many more. In addition to his eponymous salons in Bev Hills and his hometown of Clinton Township, MI, he and his gal pal Miss Simpson also hawk a line of clip in hair extensions which give all the thin haired bee-hawtchas in places like Indiana and Mississippi the opportunity to cheaply get hair as shining, gleaming, streaming, flaxen and waxen as all the haired-up hotties in Hollywood with a famous (and expensive) hairdresser in their entourage.

Anyhoo, after reading Miz Ryon's report, Your Mama went a searching on the internets and with the help of Madam Beezneez discovered that He of the Heavily Processed Hair forked over $1,965,000 for a cute little Cape Cod style house that sits up a private road above Mulholland Drive. Property records and listing information reveal the somewhat rustic feeling residence measures a deliciously modest 2,762 square feet with 3 bedrooms and 3.5 bathrooms. Each of the bedrooms features its own private pooper which Your Mama is certain all Miss PAY-ves' hair hopping gurlfriends will appreciate after a long and exhausting evening of braiding each others' hair and clowning around clipping in kooky hair extensions.

Other notable amenities include off street parking for 11 spit shined and fiercely detailed automobiles (11!) including a three car garage, four wood burning fireplaces, a gigantic split level living room for entertaining the well coiffured troops, a dining room, den, vaulted ceilings everywhere including some of the bathrooms, and long stunning views out both the front of the house (towards Bev Hills) and the back (over the San Fernando Valley).

But it's really the outdoor spaces that for Your Mama make this house something delightful and desirable. There are porches and wrap around decks, patios and lush lawns, terraces and trellised sitting areas. There is not, however, a swimming pool. Your Mama hopes with all our might and muster that Mister PAY-ves will have a wee one installed even if he'd seldom run the risk of turning his faux blond locks green from the chlorine. We're also kinda hoping Mister PAY-ves will get rid of that statue problem at the front of the house. That might have been charming in the 1940s but not so much in the 2000s.

Your Mama isn't quite sure where Mister PAY-ves has been livin' lately, but records do show that in December of 2003 he sold a 1,760 square foot house on Beldon Drive for $875,000. Looks like Mister Paves has upped his real estate game since then.

LATER SAME DAY: Turns out there isn't any kind of an accent on Mister Paves name, so we've removed it because the least we can do is spell these people's names correctly, right?

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