Saturday, June 28, 2008

UPDATE: Pete Sampras

For some weeks now Your Mama has been beating and banging the brains of our better connected tipsters and sources trying to figure out just exactly WHO purchased tennis titan Pete Sampras' big Bev Hills mansion that was on the market for and spine tingling $23,000,000. Remember that hoity toity house children, all English Manor and exquisite with a-may-zing wood paneling, a spectacular oval swimming pool and park like grounds?

Anyhoo, after pulling our scalp nearly bald with frustration, we finally heard from one of our most unimpeachable sources Wanda Whistleblower who whispered conspiratorially in Your Mama's big ear that the luxurious house on lavish Loma Vista Drive was purchased by none other than residual rich Will and Grace co-creator Max Mutchnick and his unfortunately named entertainment attorney husband Erik Hyman. If the children put on their thinking caps they may recall that these are the same two high powered Hollywood homosexuals who got lezbiriffic talk show queen Ellen Degeneres to fork over twenty-nine and some million clams for their previous manse on Cabrillo Drive in Beverly Hills.

According to Miz Whistleblower, ever since these two real estate savvy men cashed Ellen's fat check they conducted a serious search for another trophy estate and they found it in the walled and gated 10,376 square foot mansion that includes 6 bedrooms and 12 bathrooms. Now that the deal is done, Your Mama imagines these two gentlemen are already on the horn lining up a few full time gurls–or boys–whose only responsibility will be to keep all twelve of them terlits sparking clean.

At this point Your Mama can not confirm the sale price of the house. However, one interesting tidbit that Miz Whistleblower did cough up is that on the day the papers were signed and the 1+ acre estate was turned over from the king of tennis to the two real estate queens, Miss Mutchnick handed Mister Sampras a can of spray paint and asked if he would autograph the tennis court. Miz Whistleblower swears on her over stuffed Cross Your Heart that Mister Sampras obliged.

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